Monday, September 12, 2022


Over the past few months I have received several phone calls trying to get me to compare rates for medical, life, and burial insurance with a view to making me switch. Reason being that a while back I was researching dental insurace -- which went nowhere, because the American insurance industry does not want people to have teeth, they'd only bite someone with them -- and consequently ended up on a list passed on from one computerized hand to the other, all across the English speaking world.

There have been calls from people with all manner of accents.

Who sincerely do not want to take "no" for an answer.

I am very good at saying "no".

Whatever you are wanting, bhai, we are not having. Please to be going away. Hark, is that your elderly mother hollering that the chapathis and sabji are ready? She sounds shrill, you had better attend to your roti shoti most promptly. Thank you, do not call again. Or words to that effect. Sometimes terminating in something impossibly gutteral, for all the world like a tiger coughing up the mother of all hairballs. Which is Dutch. My other native language.

The reason why I do not hang up immediately is because I used to do phone work (business to business collections, often to speed up payments so that they could get another shipment of our priceless merchandise and continue a long and mutually fruitful relationship), and now these new people are actually volunteering for me to waste their valuable time.
The shoe, so to speak, is on a different foot.

Besides, I have infinite patience.

Maybe I should try to sell them something instead?

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