Saturday, September 17, 2022

HOLD THE BAGEL

Many New Yorkers believe that a bagel represents the acme of yumminess. And both make fun of and sneer at other people's bagels. Which just aren't as good as theirs. What they fail to understand is that the ONLY reason we even have bagels here is to get them to shut up. Here in San Francisco a burrito is more popular for breakfast than any of those damned dense dough rolls.

A burrito with carnitas, Spanish rice, cheese, and hot salsa.
Goes great with a cup of black coffee.

If you want a bagel and a venti instead, there's a Starbucks two blocks away. They speak East-Coast / Seattle / Southern California there. Get me some lox while you're at it, please, that would go great on my porkchop.


Bagels; perfect for when you're watching the movie 'Mimic', by Guillermo Del Toro.
Which was filmed in New York. Where there are bagels.


Okay?



A phrase I did not know until Facebook: "incessant painful farting".
Ran across it this evening in connection with school children.
Must be an East Coast thing. NY, NJ, Long Island.
Everywhere there are bagels.

Sometime tonight it will start to rain here. This is the earliest I can remember that being the forecast, climate change is shaking things up. Five or six years ago was the first time I had ever heard the term monsoonal applied to some of the weather patterns in California and Nevada at this time of year. This rain storm is the tail end of a typhoon.



Monsoons. Typhoons. Bagels. There's a connection there somehow.
Please imagine five or six years from now. I'll be telling some pie-eyed twenty-something "sonny, when I was a youngster -- a decade ago -- we didn't have monsoons here. No sir! We had normal droughts like everywhere else! Accompanied by incessant painful farting." Then I'll fondly reminisce about tying an onion to my belt, like Grampa Simpson (hey, THAT might explain the IPF), and breaking windows with inedible circular dough.


A dark toasted bagel with a pork cutlet, salsa, melted cheese.
Surely that will help us survive the typhoon.
Breakfast of champions.



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