AMERICA: STELLAR OVER ACHIEVERS

Reading the news in the morning can lead to a weird mental state. A white man in New York killed a Chinese food delivery driver over duck sauce, black teenagers in San Francisco beat up a Chinese grandmother living in the projects and robbed her, burglars robbed half a dozen shops in Oakland's Vietnamese district, and several communities in the hinterlands of California are going up in flames.

Duck sauce? What the hell is duck sauce? Are you New Yorkers insane?

Crime is out of hand. Shoot juvenile delinquents.

And regarding those hinterland communities, yeah um that's where all the asshole righteous Republican Christians are, so like whatever, dudes, enjoy the heat, bye. Boondock California starts at the Bay Bridge and simply gets worse the further East you go. By the time you hit the Cumberland Gap it's been nothing but Deliverance, Duck Dynasty, Dukes of Hazard, Nascar fans, and toxic waste dump mutants for hundreds of miles.

[Plus the World's Biggest Ball of Twine (two of them), and the biggest EPA Superfund sites (all of Texas and Louisiana). Plus the largest teapot and the largest predatory freshwater pike. In West Virginia and Wisconsin, respectively.]


There are too many criminals and Christians in this country.

De-louse and deport the lot of them to Australia.
.

I think I'll head out for my morning walk with a pipe.
Maybe the world will be better when I return.



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