Monday, March 22, 2021

WARNING: MAY CONTAIN NUT

Recently I mentioned that I did not like going over to Trader Joe's or Whole Foods because they did not have what I want. Which I detailed as being yauchoi, fu qua, Honey Loquat Candy, Lee Kum Kee curry sauce, hot sauce, sambal, single potatoes, Meltyblend chocolates, lobak, charsiu turnovers, egg tarts, Kwan Miao noodles, and cheung fan.

I'm from the planet Koozebane and I want my native foods.

One of which is Meiji confectionery.
At least one box of this every week. It's yummy.

If you want to see something really zesty and erotic, look up Koozebanian Mating Ritual on youtube. Warning: adult content AND National Geographic approved.
See, neither Trader Joe's nor Wholefoods cary Meltyblend chocolates, firstly because they discriminate against Koozebanians, and secondly because they cater specifically to Yuppies, who want to knew exactly what the cacao percentage is, whether it has gluten, and was it made using all green fair trade recycled feel goods.

Yuppies like percentages, oatmeal and tofu.

They're fundamentally dull.




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