BUNKER INSPECTION

How blessed we are to have a man like noble Donald to lead us in these perilous times! You may have thought that being outraged about a nine year old girl getting pepper sprayed (Seattle Police Department), a seventy five year old man needing emergency room attention and hospitalization because of an assault by officers (Buffalo Police Department), or a crippled wheelchair bound homeless man getting shot in the face repeatedly with "non-lethal" rounds till his head is bleeding and he's in horrible pain (Los Angeles Police Department), would have grabbed his attention, NO!
He needed to inspect the fortified family room under the white House for proper Bible Placement. Having accomplished that sacred mission, he emerged triumphant, to brandish said Bible in front of the nearest vacant church. Huzzah! Evangelicals all sang hosannas.


Good thing that didn't happen in the SF Bay Area.


Here all the atheists, idolaters and antichrist-channelers would have ripped his pudgy ass to bloody puss-dripping shreds.


Statement from the apartment mate: "I hope I'm never such an asshole that I make the news". From which we can plainly see that she isn't Republican Presidential material. Nor need she apply for a job with the Seatle, Buffalo, and Los Angeles Police Departments.

Or the Denver Police Department, which shot teargas at a pregnant woman in a car.


Personally, I am overjoyed that Donald Trump spent time in the bunker. Many famous men have committed suicide in bunkers, so it's surely educational and character-building. It will teach him about placement for best news-photo effect at the very least.
On my next day off I shall spend several hours in church praying for a just and merciful outcome, as well as a clean and speedy burial, praise the lord, deep enough that the carrion birds don't carry off an eye.
Or two eyes.

I am a man of utmost peace and goodwill.
And keen about interior design.



Better yet, preserve both eyes in formaldehyde.
So they can follow you around the room.




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