A LOVE OF WILDLIFE

As you may have gathered, I am much fonder of turkey vultures than of my fellow humans. Marvelous plumage, likes kipping on his back. And is not likely to be an unbearable blister. Yesterday evening on the bus home some horrid blonde person demanded I relinquish my place on an otherwise nearly empty Golden Gate Transit bus, because "I'm disabled, I need that seat!" And I suppose that being hideously unpleasant IS a disability. Besides, she was not wearing a mask, though that is required to board the bus, and I didn't want to be near enough to her to catch her cooties. Other than her very obvious love of cheese-covered bacon for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, there was no evidence that she had a disability.
This was the second time I've encountered her.
And already I wish her ill.

Some people should be categorized as bio-hazard.

Four days at work, three days off.

Avoid suburbanites.


It is much harder to enjoy my pipe at work than it used to be, because of masks. Which most people in Southern Marin stolidly refuse to wear in public, because it interferes with their fabulous lives.

Never-the-less I did smoke several times over the weekend while there, and thoroughly enjoyed doing so. On Monday I encountered a young fellow who was introducing his lady friend to the past-time. She will probably ending up thoroughly enjoying the Luxury Navy Flake, because of the ritual of breaking apart the slices as well as the calm thoughtfulness of the smoke. He's still in the bold flavour realm of Latakia and Turkish, but he has in the half year since we first met developed well. He's one of us now.

Myself, I tend strongly toward Virginia & Perique blends. Though for many years bold Balkan blends were my preferred stinko leaves.


As I see it, the only problems with turkey vultures as companions is that they have a horrible diet, minds with almost chicken-like blinkers and tunnel vision, and in the wild they poo on their feet to keep them cool. That rather limits their applicability as social companions, but they're not that much different from many of my fellow human beings.

Oh yeah, they don't wear masks, can't smoke a pipe (but would probably love cigars), and would want everything covered in bacon bits, cheese, and pickled Jalapeño slices. I vastly prefer sambal, a bit of fermented fish product, and will want a pipe and a cup of milk tea afterwards.

THE FABULOUS AND MAJESTIC TURKEY VULTURE

Turkey vultures are more likeable than suburbanites.
Or Polk Street techno-yuppie pedestrians.

It would be rather pointless for a turkey vulture to wear a mask; their nostrils are set too far back from the tips of their noses for the fabric to reach. It's a tragic evolutionary twist that makes it hard for a turkey vulture to ever be truly anonymous. How sad!

But otherwise it's got everything going for it.
Conversationally more gifted than a slug.
More socially polished too.
Plumage!

TOBACCO INDEX


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