Our president appears to believe that America's schoolteachers need firearms training and bulletproof vests. And that putting them in harm's way is the best way to preserve peace and order in the classroom.
Bulletproof glass is probably also recommended.
So that snipers will have no effect.
When students attack.
To quote from our commander in chief:
"If you had a teacher who was adept at firearms, they could very well end the attack very quickly."
"Where a teacher would have a concealed gun on them, they would go for special training and they would be there, and you would no longer have a gun-free zone."
In all fairness, students should be given the same shot at ultra-violence as their teachers, in order to keep America's wayward docentry in check.
I cannot wait for the day when everybody in school is armed to the teeth, from kindergarten all the way through adult education.
This prospect opens up a exciting new field of enterprise.
I've always thought of school as an armed camp.
Primarily because of those Catholics.
They outnumbered us hugely.
Which we resented.
A sandbagged machine gun position would have levelled the playing field, so to speak, and under the leadership of our capable brainiacs and teachers, we could have forced the bestial Monkish brood into retreat.
All it would have needed is a few bullets.
A well-trained sniper could have taken them all out.
Every single cassocked brute.
Hollow points.
Huzzah.
AFTERWORD
Our grammar school consisted of less than a hundred Protestants, heretics, free thinkers, Jews, and atheists in the making. We were outnumbered over twelve-fold by the Catholics next door, who made our lives a living hell.
It would have been bloody divine to "correct" that.
I'm surprised they weren't ever fire-bombed.
Children need guns around them.
Else they never grow up.
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