CREEPY WHITE GUYS -- HEY THERE!

Probably one of the most entertaining internet sites that I have ever found is by a woman of Asian ancestry who is sickened by all the white men who have a big steaming thing for women of Asian ancestry.
Primarily because they want to hump her leg.
Or other similar legs.


CREEPY WHITE GUYS
[http://creepywhiteguys.tumblr.com/]


I confess myself obsessed with her various Caucasians. Bad dogs, who are desperate to bury a bone. Any garden will do. They will dig up the flower bed if they have to, bark irritatingly all night, and leave poo all over your rug. AND they are athletic, handsome, and just totally fascinating oh my god what splendid men! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeek Don Juans!

In many ways I can empathise. I slobber on occasion also, and would wish to wag my tail. It's very human.

A few months ago I added her site to my blogroll. Primarily because it's fun to cruise in and scope out the latest strange communications from the world of Fetiche.


I, too, have marked preferences for potential life-mates.

In a way, these are quite as disturbing and perverse.

Shorter than me, but not too much. Born later.

Round-ish heads, high cranial index.

And most crucially:


MUST READ!


Actually, the two unavoidable requirements are A) female, and B) breathing. It would be a complete non-starter without those.

Sentience is also exceptionally important.

So is eating!


That last one needs some explanation. See, I have a huge number of cookbooks -- everything from Afghan cuisine through Zuid-Afrikaans -- as well as numerous culinary reference works. In my world, dining can be a highly social act, and a shared meal is well-nigh sacramental. So anyone with food-related hang-ups or issues is more-or-less unsuitable.
I am an omnivorous meat-eater, and a flavour-maven.
Spices and condiments are important to me.
And also to many of my friends.


Reading Creepy White Guys is rather like scoping out the menu of the most appalling diner in the world. One that caters strictly to Vegans with attitude problems and several severe imaginary food allergies.
The very best part of the experience is the sneering interior monologue of the waitress, shared in her and her audience's commentary on the diners. That being, naturally, the creepy white guys in question.


AN ADMISSION

Yeah, I probably wouldn't mind an Asian American girlfriend. Again.
For over two decades I was in a relationship with a woman whose parents hailed from Toishan. We met when I was still hung-up on the concept of finding a Dutch-speaker and settling down.
No, she didn't speak Dutch.

We're still best friends, though no longer a couple.

But she's in many ways the perfect paradigm of what a companion should be. Fluent native speaker of English, literate, and open about food.
Plus strongminded, stubborn, and fiercely determined.
As well as gallant, considerate, and wise.

Those are all praiseworthy qualities.

And extremely important.


*      *      *  


Anyway, head on over to creepy white guys and have fun reading the wondrously wrong stuff posted there. Because you must read.
It's as vital as breathing. In, out. Or eating.
In any case, I recommend all of that.
Try doing it at the same time.
I am creepy white guy.
Trust me.



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