I AM YOUR EVIL RELATIVE
Middle-aged white dudes calmly puffing on a briar while leaning against one of the pillars of the Chinatown Phone Exchange aren't "normal".
Normal people aren't white. Normal people do not smoke. Normal people don't have a piece of wood sticking out of their mouth.
Dang I'm interesting!
Their parents were at the next-door restaurant chowing down on a splendid dinner. Only their bird-like grandma was keeping an eye on them. I felt almost like the witch in Hansel und Gretel. If I had really wanted, I could have roasted them and had a fine meal.
But I had a full bowl of flake going, and the pipe had just hit cruising level.
No way would I interrupt that for casual protein.
And they instinctively realized that.
Early evening, just after dusk. A lot of little old people still on the street, as well as several folks for whom C'town is a new experience.
Later at the cigar bar, pipe smokers were still a new experience.
According to many people, you don't see us often anymore.
I may have introduced three Chabadniks to pipe-smoking.
That's a mighty fine thing.
I would rather have taught the two little Chinese kids, though.
Innocence seems so much more so with pipe in mouth.
Besides, I was smoking a smooth apple shape, verging on a Prince.
The girl especially would've looked darling with that.
Pigtails and a polished blonde bowl.
Yowza, readers, Yowza.
However, I have been assured, countless times, that humans still in the single digits should avoid tobacco. Apparently it stunts your growth, leads to shrunken testicles, and makes you unlovable in the extreme. Teeth will fall out, and the esophagus shall bleed.
Short folks will develop wrinkles, and start playing cards.
Quite likely the world will end too.
If children smoke.
Just call me "uncle bad influence".
Come here, little girl, would you like a nice Virginia and Perique blend?
How about something with Turkish and Latakia?
I've got both, just ask.
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