LOOK DEEP INTO MY EYES WHILE WHISPERING "CRANKSHAFT"

There are some people whose presence creates a conversational Bermuda Triangle.
You know them. Or at least, some of them. They go off on predictable tangents, like we all do, but with one key difference: you are dis-incentivized to listen.

There's only so much discussion of a four-wheel drive anyone can take before wishing to whack the other person with a laminated crankshaft.

And, speaking of which, here's what Wikipedia says about that: "The crankshaft, sometimes casually abbreviated to crank, is the part of an engine that translates reciprocating linear piston motion into rotation.".

Imagine the word 'crankshaft' softly whispered.
Enchanting, if done by the right person.


CRANK SHAFT

Being an easy person to talk to, genuinely interested in other people, good natured (usually), and fairly intelligent at times, I often find myself listening to individuals whose rhetorical world is not quite thrilling. For far too long.
No, I did not go to charm school.
Patient understanding is something I do naturally.
Especially when I'm happily ensconced with a beverage and a fully loaded pipe, enjoying the bright lights, and the superlative taste of aged Virginia tobacco.
Which could be all I'm enjoying.

I may in fact be daydreaming of a charming feminine person sweetly lisping the word 'crankshaft', or something else equally zesty and exciting, through lovely warm glistening lips - the more I think about automotive parts, the more metaphorically representative of food, adventure, and romance, they become - but I do NOT wish to hear anyone else's deep thoughts about these matters. It would take away the magic.
Assume, for the purposes of this paragraph, that there is a magic.
There must be - we're talking about crankshafts.
Oh, the mechanics of it all.


KEEP INTERNAL COMBUSTION PRIVATE!

Please do not mention your car. Or your sexual habits.

I'm a very tolerant old grouch - well, actually, barely into a springy and vibrant middle age ("52"), think of it as 'maturity' - but I do have my limits.
When you are of the same gender as I am, then your vehicle and your love-life, no matter how fascinating and peculiar, will not interest me.

Conversely, if you were a petite and likable female half my age, there could be a decent chance that those subjects might indeed fascinate me, especially if they actually lacked any disturbing peculiarities, but please bear in mind that there is a time, and a place, where discussing such things is more appropriate.


I still wouldn't be interested in the car, by the way.


Shan't go into any further details than that.


Linear piston motion, rotation.


The crankshaft.


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