A HEATED ARGUMENT ON THE SUBJECT OF EELS

Surely we all remember the chapter in which Mole gets lost in the Wild Wood, his friend Ratty goes searching for him, and the two of them end up at the home of mr. Badger?
Where, after a splendid repast, they tell their host what Toad has been up to.....

Crashing cars, breaking traffic laws, insulting washerwomen, and generally speaking, behaving like a most reprehensible amphibian.

Toad is, as you will readily understand, a cigar smoker.
Very typical of the type.

Unlike Ratty, Mole, and Badger, who are pipesmokers.
Which is not surprising.

The three friends are probably the most famous pipesmokers in all of British literature, and are in any case far more likeable than that other sort-of-well-known chappie, Holmes, and his clueless medical sidekick. Really, why so many people think of that arrogant oofus and his nerdy interlocutor as the quintessential pipesmokers is quite beyond me.
They are extremely unparadigmatic.

Whereas Ratty, Mole, and Badger are examples to emulate.
Capable, reliable, and sensible. Individuals who maintain cozy and hospitable homes, who have civilized habits and hobbies, gallant fellows who do the right thing, and are considerate, kind, and courteous.
Toad (the cigar smoker) steals cars and horses, insults people, and swaggers around self-importantly boasting. A puffed-up little beast.


EELS!

One can imagine having a cup of tea or a glass of sherry with the pipe smokers, but would rather not associate with Toad.

I'm not sure about Otter, though. I've always pictured him with a fag drooping out of the corner of his mouth.
Especially when he and Ratty are talking about eels.

But hookah smokers are complete degenerates. Very shady characters.
As the illustration below proves beyond a shadow of a doubt.

In another few minutes I shall head over to the cigar bar.
To smoke my pipe surrounded by the rowdies.
The caterpillar has sweeter company.
I'm quite envious.


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