OUR FRIEND THE PORCUPISC

The question today is: what looks like a burrito, and used to occasionally be found in the canals of Amsterdam?
Admittedly it hasn’t been found there for several years, probably centuries even – but in the Seventeenth Century many exemplars were spotted.
There are a few of them in the Eastern Scheldt year-round.

[The Eastern Scheldt is between Schouwen Duiveland and both Bevelands. It is to the north of the other Scheldt.]

Clue: they can be cooked with pepper, cinnamon, and saffron.

Obviously they aren’t what you originally thought.


MERE-SWINE

The floating burrito in question is, of course, the harbour porpoise (Phocoena phocoena), also known as the sea pig, which can also be described as having the general shape and dimension of a pudgy teenager on the football team (than which it is much more intelligent, btw).
The modern Dutch name is ‘bruinvis’ (“brown fish”), the older term was ‘meer-swyn’ (“sea pig”) – hence the Anglish-neologism with which I capped this paragraph.
Per Wikipedia, “They feed mostly on small pelagic schooling fish, particularly herring, capelin, and sprat. They will, however, also eat squid and crustaceans in some areas.”

I was reminded of these porcupisces not by the delicious burrito-especial con carnitas y salsa picante (sin frijoles) that I had for lunch today, but by an article in the Dutch press indicating that more of these creatures have washed ashore in Zeeland this year than in previous years. Fortunately the article did not have pictures of the deceased beasts, or I would have probably not have had a burrito for lunch. It was a VERY good burrito.
My fingers still smell intriguingly of grease from the other white meat.

In that the term ‘brown fish’ is virtually useless as a descriptive, the lack of photos meant that I had to look it up. Apparently the name refers to the appearance, which is not brown – it is grey, dull, or dark hued – and to the habitat of the animal: if it swims, it's fish.
It is not a fish.

The term mere-swine is much more evocative. Expressive and clear, even.
The only problem with that name is that it suggests edibility.
To the best of my knowledge, sea pig has not been on the menu in continental Europe since at least the early eighties.
Or maybe even before.


Mereswine – it’s NOT the other ‘sea kitten’.


Can’t speculate about the taste (yet), but porpoise has a helluva lot more personality than fish.
Pity they look so much like a burrito.
Or a pudgy teenage boy.



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