PRECIOUS LITTLE FLOWER

This morning I offended a woman.
I sickened, disgusted, nauseated, repelled, and infuriated her.
All this without ever opening my mouth.
My pong, stench, and general loathsomeness violated her nostrils.

I was freshly washed when I stepped out of the house. Teeth brushed too, and clean clothes. Where I went wrong was having a few puffs while waiting at the stop. When I saw the Number One coming I discarded the rest of the cigarillo and inhaled and exhaled several times to ensure that no smoke would issue from my mouth – it’s kind of rude to bring a lung full of tobacco onto a crowded bus.
I was the last person to get on.

When I stood near this particular passenger she frantically clapped a hand to her nose, pressing her fingers so firmly against her cheeks that the indentations reddened, and her jowls quivered from the tension.
She didn’t actually say it, but the venom shooting out of her eyes made clear what she thought.
How dare I be so anti-social!

No one else seemed to notice my repulsive odour.
When I moved down the aisle the woman promptly removed her hand from her nose and looked immensely relieved.
Again, no nausea among the other passengers.
Even the ones right next to me.


A MULTITUDE OF PERFUMES AND HAIRCARE PRODUCTS,
PLUS FRAGRANT UNGUENTS TOO!

Though tempted, I shall not criticize that woman's appearance, or her bad sense of smell regarding all the other aromas on the bus.
That would be cruel and insensitive. People can't help their looks.
I am not cruel, or insensitive.

But I am reminded of an informative video-clip!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xc90UhV6hJA
Sometimes the bus just REEKS of juicy people.
Pecs, slime, green tentacles, gods!
Sensual ultra-whiffing.

I moved because her distress was so obvious. Given how tightly she had covered her nostrils, breathing would be difficult.
No, I do not want someone to faint because of auto-asphyxiation. There's a time and a place for that, but the bus going to the financial district isn't it.
Yeah, I guess I kind of felt sorry for her.
Some people have worked up a full-blown tobacco-nazi neurosis, and there's not much you can do other than tolerate their eccentricities.
Perhaps someone close to them refuses to quit just because it infuriates the poor dear.

She got off at the same stop.
I could've lit up immediately and made sure she walked right into a thick cloud of it.
But I didn't.

I may be mean, but I am not a sadist.



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