NO HAIR, NO PANTIES
We're not speaking the same language.
A man will say "I like being with you". What it means is that he likes being with her. Simple, and straightforward.
That's not something a woman will say. To a woman, the phrase "I like being with you" can only mean "I want to get into your panties". And seeing as most men don't have panties, saying it to a man just doesn't compute.
The subcontext of that sentence, or any other sentence expressing good natured pleasure in her company, can in her mind only refer to panties.
Hers, specifically. Contents of. The.
Instead, a women will make some remark about her hair. Or cheerily offer that puce really suits her.
I like being with you, but I have NO clue what you're on about.
In actual fact, I don't really like being with women.
Well, most women.
Most women are stark-raving batshit.
Why do they talk about hair?
If I were a barber, OR a creepy fetishist, the discussion would thrill me.
The percentage of such people among the general population cannot be large enough to encourage that conversational motif.
Not as a social gambit, not as a survival mechanism.
Would it encourage interaction if I said I had panties too?
Not that I do, mind you, but I'm quite willing to go out and buy them if that means we can actually talk.
I'll even share them.
No boast, but I think I have good taste in panties.
Over the years I've devoted considerable thought to that subject, but unless you bring it up, I shan't mention them.
It will remain my secret.
That's why I say things like "I like being with you". If you didn't mention your hair, or the colour puce, we might move on to other things, like "hey, how about going to get something to eat", or "wanna see a movie?".
Telling me that you're thinking about dying your hair puce, however, is distinctly a non-starter. It doesn't suggest any further exchange.
Really, what am I to follow that with?
Dear reader, if you were a woman, what would you want me to say?
Brilliant suggestions are welcome.
Talk to me.
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.