Thursday, July 17, 2008

SOLUTION TO SHIDDUCH CRISIS

A friend, of much the same age as myself, is neither married nor seeing someone. He is not immune to feminine charms, however, and has robust and healthy tastes.

I have told him several times what he needs in his life.


He needs someone like the heroine of this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpvvFn54hRs

She's dreamy, as I'm sure you'll agree.
And she knows her way around a kitchen. A very capable girl.


With a bit of luck, this conversation will be part of the programme:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VY8L_apFieE


If he takes my advice, and finds somebody exactly like her, I expect to be invited to the chasunah.

15 comments:

Spiros said...

I sorta prefer women of three dimensions, with slightly more pronounced probosci (such as Barbara Stanwyck...truly a snozz of distinction). Also, morning people give me the heeby-jeebies.
Thanking you for your concern, but if I was to become involved with an animated character, it would be Dr. Katz's receptionist, Laura, whose sublime combination of boredom and hostility I find to be irresistable.

Anonymous said...

Sounds woody.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T70-HTlKRXo&feature=related

Gorn. Tinney.

Anonymous said...

Gonts alles nisht tsniyusdik!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous, write in English.


---Grant Patel

Anonymous said...

Pro bo skizzz. Marvelous word. All praise the big noses. The tribe of probosizzzits.


---Grant Patel

Spiros said...

Hey now, I didn't say Barbara Stanwyck had a "big nose"; the word I used was "pronounced".
Perhaps distinctive would be more accurate. My favorite nose of old Hollywood, just ahead of Garbo's.
The funniest nose of current Hollywood (disregarding for the moment Barbra Joan Streisand, who makes me verklimpt): Owen Wilson.

Anonymous said...

Barbara Stanwyck is a babe. Totally.


I just love photos of clearskinned women in black and white.


---Grant Patel

Anonymous said...

Mr. Patel, you are clearly in the same league of perversion as the blogger and the greek fella.

There is medicine for that, you know. It is curable. Electro-shock is no longer required in this day and age (though nevertheless heartily recommended).


Lev

Anonymous said...

"Mr. Patel, you are clearly in the same league of perversion as the blogger and the greek fella."

He's not Greek, he's a transplanted Zulu. And none of us are perverts, we're just healthy young boys with zesty appetites.


---Grant Patel

Spiros said...

Who's Greek?

Spiros said...

...besides Aristoodle Onasis, of course.

(in case you don't get the reference, it's from "They Ain't Makin' Jews Like Jesus Any More", by Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys)

Anonymous said...

Aristoodle? Oodles of noodles jump der stroodle.

Not a little dumpling.

Spiros said...

"Now I hits him with everthing I has,
Right straight between the eyes-
I says: 'I'm gonna get you, you sumbitch,
You been spoutin' that pack of lies!
If there's one thing I cain't abide,
It's an ethnocentric racist-
Now you take back that thing you said 'bout Aristoodle Onasis!"

Anonymous said...

What a noodgeniks.

Anonymous said...

Still no wombats. It's a ness of monumental proportion. Baruch Hashem again.

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