GROUP EAT

The Finance Department will be going out for lunch some time next week, in order to celebrate new additions to the department, birthdays and anniversaries, and coming through the audit with flying colours.

There is something almost sacramental about eating with others. In many cultures, if you are asked to have a bite with someone it is a rudeness to refuse. In Tamarao we say that when you are asked, accept with alacrity. This is especially important when it comes to festive meals and celebratory events. You absolutely must eat, even if only a little bit. You are sharing in the joy of the occasion, and adding to the event by sharing in it.

Think of it as a cultural or social mitzvah.

So I will gladly be part of the happy meal.

We'll probably go to a Hunanese restaurant just south of Market Street. It is a well-known place, much loved by many who work in the downtown.

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HUNANESE FOOD

The problem with Hunanese food is that it is the perfect cuisine for Cantonese restaurateurs who know that they are mediocre cooks, and do not wish to have their own countrymen lambast them for serving muck. Cantonese customers who feel that the food is sub-par will be vocal, and vociferous. Even unpleasant. Perhaps lyrical. Eloquent in any case. And very hard to shut up.
[Calling yourself a Hunanese Restaurant warns the Cantonese to go elsewhere. They know.]

White folks, on the other hand, will eat anything.

Just stirfry it with chopped carrots, bellpepper, and cabbage, and call it Hunanese. Add dried chilies to the pan beforehand, and something condimental with cornstarch water for a velvety wok-glaze near the end.


General Bong's Pork?
---Sliced pork stirfried with dried chilies plus chopped carrots, bellpepper, and cabbage. Farfara pepper and cornstarch water added for a velvety wok-glaze.


Duke Mou's Chicken?
---Sliced chicken breast stirfried with dried chilies plus chopped carrots, bellpepper, and cabbage. Soy sauce and cornstarch water added for a velvety wok-glaze.


Black Bean Sauce Beef?
---Sliced beef stirfried with dried chilies plus chopped carrots, bellpepper, and cabbage. Coarsely mashed salted black beans (taosi) and cornstarch water added for a velvety wok-glaze.


Chubby Concubine Drumsticks?
---Small chicken drummettes stirfried with dried chilies plus chopped carrots, bellpepper, and cabbage. Plus garlic, ginger, sweetbeanpaste, and cornstarch water added for a velvety wok-glaze.


Chairman Mao's Special Prawns?
---Frozen shrimp stirfried with dried chilies plus chopped carrots, bellpepper, and cabbage. Plus ricewine, sugar, slivered ham, extra hotsauce, and cornstarch water added for a velvety wok-glaze.
[Note: Vegetarian version made with wheat gluten. Do not feed leftovers to your cat or dog.]


Imperial Golden Phoenix Meets Eight Jade Immortals For An Orgasmic Foodfight In The Azure Western Heavens At Sunrise?
---Sliced pork, chicken, and beef stirfried with dried chilies plus chopped carrots, bellpepper, and cabbage. With soysauce, sweetbeanpaste, extra hotsauce, and cornstarch water added for a velvety wok-glaze.


Shrimp or chicken added to any dish upon request, three dollars extra.


"Yummers, white person, yummers. Thank you, and come again."


I'm looking forward to sharing food with my coworkers.
I'm just wondering where to have lunch afterwards.
As far as food is concerned, the financial district is a blasted heath.