Thursday, December 08, 2005

WHERE THE CRIMSON BUFFALO ROAM

One of the more interesting ideas in the Torah is the para adumah - the red heifer.

In Seifer Bamidbar (Numbers), Parshas Chukas (statutes), psukim (verses) 19:1 through 19:22, where we are told to take a red heifer, without blemish, which must be slaughtered, its blood sprinkled hither and thither by a priest, "ve saraf et ha para le einav, et ora, ve et basara, ve et dama, al pirsha yisrof" (verse 5: and then the heifer shall be burnt in his sight - her skin, and her flesh, and her blood, with her dung, shall be burnt), "ve lakach ha kohen etz erez ve ezov u sheni tolaat, ve hishlich el toch serefat ha para" (verse 6: and the priest shall take cedar, and hyssop, and crimson, and cast it into the middle of the burning of the heifer).


Anyhow, kitsuro shel davar, the ashes of the heifer and all the precious substances which were also thrown into the fire are then mixed with living water (mayim chayim: water from a pool, spring, or river), and the resultant soup has great purificatory powers, and can be used to cleanse and re-sanctify.


So far, so good. Liquids in the Torah are often conduits for purity in one direction, impurity in the other direction. Shoyn.

Burnt cow soup is only slightly more meshune....


But now it gets a little strange......., bear with me. In order to rebuild the Beis HaMikdash (the Temple in Jerusalem), some of this red heifer-ade is going to be needed.

And the people who seriously want to build the third temple are trying to breed a cow which is scarlet in colour (why not just plain lentil-soup hued? Well, they are fixating on perfection, and on the impossible, totally overlooking the likelihood that Semitic languages might use certain exaggerated terms and hyperbole, heaven forefend and chasvechollilleh!!! Adumah does NOT describe the colour of Yakov's pottage, but of Eisav's fiery beard. So there, you kofer!).


In this odd pursuit, they are being assisted by Christian Fundies who want to speed the apocalypse, bring on the rapture, and cause the damnation and eternal burning of everybody except the 'select' (very narrowly defined as themselves and their congressleite).
Meaning of course you, me, our kinfolk, and every one who isn't a Bahble thumpin' moron, from here to Pluto - including the observant Jews with whom these baptocretins are engaged in sacred cattle-breeding.


You might think this is just a little bit loopy, and surely the author of this blog is smoking crack, so I'm providing clickable links below.

http://www.templeinstitute.org/red_heifer/red_heifer_contents.htm
Particularly note the chapter entitled: The Tenth Red Heifer.

http://www.templemount.org/heifer.html
More of the same, description of the program.

http://www.raptureready.com/faq/faq215.html
From the kindly folks over at Rapture Ready, who really want you to burn, as can be read here:
http://www.raptureready.com/faq/rap23.html#SALVATION
Go ahead, browse, have a ball.

http://www.jeryl.com/id3.html
This one has American flag wallpaper! Hallelujah!

http://www.unexplainedstuff.com/Prophecy-and-Divination/Will-the-Red-Heifer-bring-about-Armageddon.html
This one tells you everything you want to know, without going too far into deep-space.


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Interestingly enough, and almost certainly purely coincidental, in early Chinese beliefs a red cow, of an even hue and free of blemishes, was considered the perfect sacrifice.

What is odd is that even at that time (two to three millennia ago) the Chinese were not really into cattle; that was always more a concern of the barbarians from the wastes. But if you go back far enough, both the Hsia dynasty and the Zhou had barbarian connections, and their rituals were in part influenced by the non-Sinitic cultures of the nomads on the border (note for instance the recurrence of the graph for sheep as a building block of other graphs dealing with matters philosophical, ritual, ethical).

The idea of the red cow as suitable for purificatory sacrifices is probably a survival of that influence.


--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

I'll be keeping my eyes open for further developments, as purely on an anthropological level this obsession is fascinating.

Still, I sincerely hope that in breeding for colour, the fundamentalists don't overlook texture and taste.

The flavour is all in the marbling.

10 comments:

Mar Gavriel said...

Good post, but's it's a bit of an odd time in the year to post it. What makes you think of it right now.

The holiday when we celebrate Poro Azummo is "Shabbas Poro", in Azor.

And we lein Chukkas in the summer.

(Just wonderin', not criticizin'...)

The back of the hill said...

Tayere Mar Gabriel,

I was re-reading The Myth of the Holy Cow by Dwijendra Narayan Jha; the dust jacket has a disturbingly crimson moocow illustration - you can see what sparked my train of thought.

Mr. Jha's book, while the source of much noise in India, is actually a scholarly cruise through the textual evidence that beef was part of the diet in India until comparetively recent times, even among the highest caste-levels.

As you can imagine, the Hindu nationalists have gotten their dhotis in a twist over this book. The author now has police protection, and the Jhanatist equivalent of a cherem has been fatwa'ed over him and his writings.

Mar Gavriel said...

I wonder what the Redhead Supremacist jerk would think about this.

;-)

The back of the hill said...

I would hope that he would start thinking of himself as the divinely chosen bovine.

The 'Moo-siach', if you'll excuse the horrid wordplay.

I rather like the idea of a nutjob running around thinking he was horned and hooved.

Mad cow.

Moo.

Anonymous said...

When the last judgement comes, you will be found wanting.

Your entire sceptical worldview will do you no good, you will be left behind, and you will scream your lungs out in abject shivering terror.

The righteous will be lift up - some might be inclined towards mercy, but the LORD ALMIGHTY will not allow intercession.

Steg (dos iz nit der šteg) said...

No intercession?

What does that mean, no Winter Break? :-P

Anyway, i had a Biblical History professor in college who was insistent that in Biblical Hebrew the color adom covered both 'red' and 'brown', like the Welsh glas covers both 'green' and 'blue'.

How now, brown cow?

Anonymous said...

Intercession = Inter Session = Winter Session.

Yippie! No school for two whole weeks! From before Nittul Weekend to after ney yehr!

Now that's righteous!

Anonymous said...

I am positive of His existence. You're website is an err in your judgment, and I believe your opinion is blasphemous and you're being used and controlled by evil.
Christians were trying to bring peace and hope into this world, but when you die, you'll find soul is stuck in eternity, without God.
I know that you will be held accountable for leading other away from Christ on judgement day. I can't image how upset God Himself must be about this.
He will be the Righteous Judge to those who do not accept Jesus as Lord and Savior of their lives, it would have been better for you to have never been born because they will spend time and eternity absent from the presence of such a loving God.
FIND JESUS YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER

The back of the hill said...

Do any of you fundies know how to read and write in English?

Your gibberish is unreadable, and has bugger-all to do with the subject of this post.

Get an education, OR a lobotomy. In your case, either would be an improvement, though I hope that you chose the quicker one.

Anonymous said...

Back of the hill is an absolute heretic and nobody should read his writings.

Anybody that reads this will be reading apikorsish garbage.

This is BITTUL TORAH.

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