When I left the house shortly after mid-day, my roommate was zonked out on my bed, curled up with a teddy bear, a degenerate monkey, a froad (i.e. "weird green flippery guy"), several other beasts, and a book about the sexual shenanigans of British royalty.
Her back aches, and it's close to her monthly period. She's in discomfort, and kinda tired.
According to my calculations, the menses are actually due to hit this Wednesday, although they have been one or two days early in the past.
I'm figuring her current cycle at 27 days.
Yes, I'm keeping count - I'm a Dutchman, and I'm neurotic.
Even though it's none of my business, it's good to know these things.
[She's my roommate, but we used to be more involved with each other. That ended quite a while ago. Regarding the cycle-count, I may have mentioned that I'm both neurotic and Dutch - those two characteristics overlap considerably, though not all Dutch are neurotic, and many neurotic people are not actually Dutch. They just as well could be.]
CROWD OF ROWDY FURBALLS
My bed is the larger one in the apartment. It accommodates many more stuffed animals than hers. Though she, being a very slender person, does not cramp them for space when they're over on her side.
Some of them are hers - kitten, teddy bear, froad (the 'WGFG'), cat, small bovine, orange beaver, vampire guinea pig, she-sheep, pervert serpent, and most of the frogs - some are mine: monkey, sock-sheep, big black spider, Steiff raccoon, and all the degenerates.
Plus three dysfunctional teddy bears, a psychopathic hamster, and the odd penguin or two.
It is interesting that she seeks out my critters for comfort.
Partly, I think, because they are rowdy and argumentative.
Anarchists with criminal tendencies, admittedly, but very social.
How I ended up with all the rioters I do not know.
For I myself am a very gentle man.
Quiet and soft-spoken.
Even-keeled.
Calm.
You may stop laughing now. You've made your point. Really, it's rather rude to burst into loud peals of sneering hilarity while someone else is talking.
Actually, I don't know how comforting the WGFG can be at present. Lately he's been venomously speculating about eating the monkey's brain, though he fears it will taste all nanky, and there probably isn't very much there.
But the monkey deserves to die, and he, the FROAD, is determined that the demise will be soon, cruel, and bloody. Stupid monkey, chop you!
The monkey has been making fun of the froad's gas problem, you see.
It's all been very hurtful, and both of them are upset.
Loudly and operatically so.
Given all that going on, in my bed nota bene, you will grasp why I came to the office today.
It's just too darn noisy at home. What with her sleeping and all.
The office is nice and peaceful. I daydream at my desk.
I do the same when the apartment is empty.
I often spend all weekend here.
On the way down I stopped by a bakery in Chinatown and picked up some snackies.
I doubt that she'll have the energy to cook herself something to eat.
A cup of hot milk-tea and a pastry should be just the ticket.
At the very least it will give her the energy to return to her own room and apologize to the other roomies for being gone all day.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly: LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Showing posts with label Penguins. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Penguins. Show all posts
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Sunday, December 05, 2010
THE COMPLETE INTERNET FETISHIST
Occasionally I check out the stats for this blog to find out how many people cruised on in, and what they were looking for.
My readers (including you) are a fascinating lot.
You'll be pleased to know that the Pakistanis haven't discovered me yet - they lead the world in Google searches for "child sex", "animal sex", and "rape sex", so it should be quite a while before they come here. None of those categories of typical Pakistani sexuality are featured much on this blog.
Except in passing, primarily to sneer at Pakistanis.
What are my readers looking for instead?
Drucquer & sons tobacconist
This search I can well understand. I worked at Drucquers for a few years, and like many pipesmokers I keenly wish it had not faded from sight. The famous mixtures that this store produced are no longer made, alas. But those who remember blends such as Trafalgar or Red Lion with fondness will no doubt have already discovered Greg Pease, who since leaving Drucquers went into the tobacco business for himself, and has compounded some absolutely fabulous stuff.
Balkan Sobranie
Another search-criterium that has my sympathy. And like Drucquers, Sobranie is no more. Some people are paying extraordinary prices for unopened tins, three hundred dollars and up. Which is rather ridiculous.
I still have over a dozen tins, and I'm not selling. Sorry.
Frilly panties
A cute posterior attractively packaged in frilly panties may well be one of the finer things in life. But you will find no pictures on this blog, nor excessively tactile descriptions. Again, sorry.
I encourage you to find or feel your own.
Geert wilders
This must be a newly popular sexual fetish. Frankly, I am rather appalled, but I realize that most people cruise the internet looking for Balkan Sobranie, kittens, and Japanese porn. To the best of my knowledge, there is no Japanese porn featuring Geert Wilders. Yet.
Black lace garter belt
Like the aforementioned 'Frilly Panties', one of the finer things in life. At some point I may acquire one of these myself, but I would much rather meet a person who wears one.
Pipe smoking ladies
Probably the sweetest fantasy that anyone can have. No, it's not sexual. Charming young women should smoke pipes. Cigarettes are for sailors, snuff is for coots.
Little virgins
This too is wonderful, especially if you're a Dutchman. Cover 'em with chopped onion. Even many non-Dutch love little virgins, although the Germans tend to pickle them in a vinegar solution, and other people drench them with cream or capers.
I do not know anyone who isn't fond of matjes herring.
You will note that this post is both self-serving and YOU serving.
I got to post links to some of my most popular articles (thus boosting them in internet searches), and you now have a handy list of everything you've always wanted. Enjoy.
Sorry, Pakistanis, nothing here for you.
But do please keep checking.
Regularly.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
My readers (including you) are a fascinating lot.
You'll be pleased to know that the Pakistanis haven't discovered me yet - they lead the world in Google searches for "child sex", "animal sex", and "rape sex", so it should be quite a while before they come here. None of those categories of typical Pakistani sexuality are featured much on this blog.
Except in passing, primarily to sneer at Pakistanis.
What are my readers looking for instead?
Drucquer & sons tobacconist
This search I can well understand. I worked at Drucquers for a few years, and like many pipesmokers I keenly wish it had not faded from sight. The famous mixtures that this store produced are no longer made, alas. But those who remember blends such as Trafalgar or Red Lion with fondness will no doubt have already discovered Greg Pease, who since leaving Drucquers went into the tobacco business for himself, and has compounded some absolutely fabulous stuff.
Balkan Sobranie
Another search-criterium that has my sympathy. And like Drucquers, Sobranie is no more. Some people are paying extraordinary prices for unopened tins, three hundred dollars and up. Which is rather ridiculous.
I still have over a dozen tins, and I'm not selling. Sorry.
Frilly panties
A cute posterior attractively packaged in frilly panties may well be one of the finer things in life. But you will find no pictures on this blog, nor excessively tactile descriptions. Again, sorry.
I encourage you to find or feel your own.
Geert wilders
This must be a newly popular sexual fetish. Frankly, I am rather appalled, but I realize that most people cruise the internet looking for Balkan Sobranie, kittens, and Japanese porn. To the best of my knowledge, there is no Japanese porn featuring Geert Wilders. Yet.
Black lace garter belt
Like the aforementioned 'Frilly Panties', one of the finer things in life. At some point I may acquire one of these myself, but I would much rather meet a person who wears one.
Pipe smoking ladies
Probably the sweetest fantasy that anyone can have. No, it's not sexual. Charming young women should smoke pipes. Cigarettes are for sailors, snuff is for coots.
Little virgins
This too is wonderful, especially if you're a Dutchman. Cover 'em with chopped onion. Even many non-Dutch love little virgins, although the Germans tend to pickle them in a vinegar solution, and other people drench them with cream or capers.
I do not know anyone who isn't fond of matjes herring.
You will note that this post is both self-serving and YOU serving.
I got to post links to some of my most popular articles (thus boosting them in internet searches), and you now have a handy list of everything you've always wanted. Enjoy.
Sorry, Pakistanis, nothing here for you.
But do please keep checking.
Regularly.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Friday, February 26, 2010
PRIESTS AND BOYS IN EUROPE
Onverheugend nieuws:
http://www.dutchnews.nl/news/archives/2010/02/dutch_don_bosco_priests_accuse.php
Citaat:
"A former member told the NRC that many priests had their favourite boys and had relationships with them."
Juist ja.
Ik kan mij bijzonder goed herinneren dat priestelijke kinderverkrachting jaren terug werd afgeschreven als louter een Amerikaans probleem. Ja ja, die vieze Amerikanen, weet je wel, die jenks kunnen gewoon niet zo rechtvaardig als de Europeanen zijn, het benne maar vuillakken, zoiets kan NOOIT in het beschaafde Europa gebeuren.
Puur Amerikaans. Wat verwacht je ook anders van dat volkje.
Met klem: NOOIT IN EUROPA.
Dus wel.
Blijken die o zo beschaafde Europeanen maar weer eens schijnheilige pissanten te zijn.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A MALE PRESERVE
So far, the Irish Church, the German Church, the Belgian Church, and the Italian Church have had their priests exposed as paedophiles and rapists.
Now also the Dutch.
And yet many in Europe still insist that abusive priests are purely an American phenomenon.
Nice folks, those Euries. Veritable examples to us all.
According to the Telegraaf newspaper:
"Paters in een Rooms-Katholiek internaat in 's Heerenberg hebben in de jaren zestig en zeventig kinderen misbruikt, Dit blijkt uit een onderzoek van de Wereld omroep en NRC Handelsblad."
[Translation: Padres in a Roman-Catholic boarding school in 's Heerenberg during the sixties and zeventies (sexually) abused children. This was shown in an investigation by World Broadcasting (- a radio station) and the NRC Handelsblad (- a newspaper).]
"Volgens de beheerder van een boerderij bij het internaat was het seksueel misbruik door de paters van de Salesiaanse orde bekend binnen de orde en werd het ook door de leiding besproken."
[Translation: According to the exploitant of a farm at the boarding school, the sexual abuse by the padres of the Salesian order was known within the brotherhood, and was also discussed by the leaders (of the order).]
Source:
http://www.telegraaf.nl/binnenland/6149760/___Paters_misbruikten_kinderen___.html?p=28,1
And:
http://www.telegraaf.nl/binnenland/6149760/___paters_misbruikten_kinderen___.html?p=15,1
"De hoogste baas van de Salesianen in Nederland in de jaren zeventig was Ad Luyn, nu bisschop van Rotterdam. De Wereldomroep heeft hem om een reactie gevraagd, maar hij wilde niet reageren."
[Translation: The highest authority of the Salesians in the Netherlands in the seventies was Ad Luyn, now bishop of Rotterdam. The Worldbroadcast asked him for a reaction, but he did not wish to comment.]
THIRTY YEARS OF SILENCE
I can understand the churchman's bashfulness. Everything he says may be held against him. It is, perhaps, best to claim ignorance.
Even in the priesthood, they grasp that.
Innocence, as is well known, is bliss.
And silence is golden.
http://www.dutchnews.nl/news/archives/2010/02/dutch_don_bosco_priests_accuse.php
Citaat:
"A former member told the NRC that many priests had their favourite boys and had relationships with them."
Juist ja.
Ik kan mij bijzonder goed herinneren dat priestelijke kinderverkrachting jaren terug werd afgeschreven als louter een Amerikaans probleem. Ja ja, die vieze Amerikanen, weet je wel, die jenks kunnen gewoon niet zo rechtvaardig als de Europeanen zijn, het benne maar vuillakken, zoiets kan NOOIT in het beschaafde Europa gebeuren.
Puur Amerikaans. Wat verwacht je ook anders van dat volkje.
Met klem: NOOIT IN EUROPA.
Dus wel.
Blijken die o zo beschaafde Europeanen maar weer eens schijnheilige pissanten te zijn.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A MALE PRESERVE
So far, the Irish Church, the German Church, the Belgian Church, and the Italian Church have had their priests exposed as paedophiles and rapists.
Now also the Dutch.
And yet many in Europe still insist that abusive priests are purely an American phenomenon.
Nice folks, those Euries. Veritable examples to us all.
According to the Telegraaf newspaper:
"Paters in een Rooms-Katholiek internaat in 's Heerenberg hebben in de jaren zestig en zeventig kinderen misbruikt, Dit blijkt uit een onderzoek van de Wereld omroep en NRC Handelsblad."
[Translation: Padres in a Roman-Catholic boarding school in 's Heerenberg during the sixties and zeventies (sexually) abused children. This was shown in an investigation by World Broadcasting (- a radio station) and the NRC Handelsblad (- a newspaper).]
"Volgens de beheerder van een boerderij bij het internaat was het seksueel misbruik door de paters van de Salesiaanse orde bekend binnen de orde en werd het ook door de leiding besproken."
[Translation: According to the exploitant of a farm at the boarding school, the sexual abuse by the padres of the Salesian order was known within the brotherhood, and was also discussed by the leaders (of the order).]
Source:
http://www.telegraaf.nl/binnenland/6149760/___Paters_misbruikten_kinderen___.html?p=28,1
And:
http://www.telegraaf.nl/binnenland/6149760/___paters_misbruikten_kinderen___.html?p=15,1
"De hoogste baas van de Salesianen in Nederland in de jaren zeventig was Ad Luyn, nu bisschop van Rotterdam. De Wereldomroep heeft hem om een reactie gevraagd, maar hij wilde niet reageren."
[Translation: The highest authority of the Salesians in the Netherlands in the seventies was Ad Luyn, now bishop of Rotterdam. The Worldbroadcast asked him for a reaction, but he did not wish to comment.]
THIRTY YEARS OF SILENCE
I can understand the churchman's bashfulness. Everything he says may be held against him. It is, perhaps, best to claim ignorance.
Even in the priesthood, they grasp that.
Innocence, as is well known, is bliss.
And silence is golden.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
ANTISOCIAL AND DISCRIMINATING
It is raining today. Which, if you are a normal person, means that you will get wet. If on the other hand you are a non-smoker you will be inside breathing stale recycled air and fervently wishing that your coworkers had never discovered beans. Or lentils. And cruciferous vegetables.
Oh the joys of a healthy life.
WEAK LUNGS
I just finished reading an article by some insufferable Bunt who avers that smokers deliberately discriminate against people with weak lungs. Nothing could be further from the truth!
We do not discriminate, we merely wish them ill. They should choke a bit. Or be brutally whacked by a benevolent deity - in His Mercy.
Weak-lunged people have NO business being outside on the sidewalk, or even in a public place. Ever! They should stay at home and crochet. Near the humidifier.
We consider the weak-lunged to be mendacious, and deliberately provocative.
WHEEZING WUSSIES
Asthmatics are another category of monumental pain in the gand. Horrid sadists and whiners. Stuck up, and 'special'. And yes, all you people who object to the smell of tobacco need to get a life. Stop bellyaching. You already reek of gasoline fumes, regular inner-city funk and filth, and, because you stay indoors (when we are outside), stale recycled air. Plus beans and lentils. Or cruciferous vegetables.
Faugh!
If you sanctimonious do-gooders and puritanical health-nuts absolutely NEED a smoke-free environment in order to feel fulfilled and complete, go to a bar. Please drink as much as you want. It's your liver.
I'm sure you're all so full of beans due to healthy living that you won't even mind the drunken fights, loud and stupid arguments, or the inevitable alcohol-fueled unsafe sex that follows your night out. Why, you will positively enjoy all that - it does NOT involve tobacco!
Feel free to spend every night drinking yourself into a stupor in your fresh-smelling dives, then jumping into the sack with the sodden trollops of either gender who look good to your gin-bleared eyes at closing time.
Puke and have loud disputations on the street after you leave your smoke-free drinking holes.
Please engage in drunk-driving, too.
We smokers won't mind.
Most of us are very tolerant.
That's why we shan't be in the bars when you misbehave.
Besides, we will be asleep at that time; we believe in clean habits, and we seldom drink in public.
Oh the joys of a healthy life.
WEAK LUNGS
I just finished reading an article by some insufferable Bunt who avers that smokers deliberately discriminate against people with weak lungs. Nothing could be further from the truth!
We do not discriminate, we merely wish them ill. They should choke a bit. Or be brutally whacked by a benevolent deity - in His Mercy.
Weak-lunged people have NO business being outside on the sidewalk, or even in a public place. Ever! They should stay at home and crochet. Near the humidifier.
We consider the weak-lunged to be mendacious, and deliberately provocative.
WHEEZING WUSSIES
Asthmatics are another category of monumental pain in the gand. Horrid sadists and whiners. Stuck up, and 'special'. And yes, all you people who object to the smell of tobacco need to get a life. Stop bellyaching. You already reek of gasoline fumes, regular inner-city funk and filth, and, because you stay indoors (when we are outside), stale recycled air. Plus beans and lentils. Or cruciferous vegetables.
Faugh!
If you sanctimonious do-gooders and puritanical health-nuts absolutely NEED a smoke-free environment in order to feel fulfilled and complete, go to a bar. Please drink as much as you want. It's your liver.
I'm sure you're all so full of beans due to healthy living that you won't even mind the drunken fights, loud and stupid arguments, or the inevitable alcohol-fueled unsafe sex that follows your night out. Why, you will positively enjoy all that - it does NOT involve tobacco!
Feel free to spend every night drinking yourself into a stupor in your fresh-smelling dives, then jumping into the sack with the sodden trollops of either gender who look good to your gin-bleared eyes at closing time.
Puke and have loud disputations on the street after you leave your smoke-free drinking holes.
Please engage in drunk-driving, too.
We smokers won't mind.
Most of us are very tolerant.
That's why we shan't be in the bars when you misbehave.
Besides, we will be asleep at that time; we believe in clean habits, and we seldom drink in public.
Friday, July 10, 2009
STOP FORWARDING MESSAGES ABOUT THE END OF THE WORLD!
Some people believe that they are truly the first ones to read about certain events. And they, they alone, are privy to the data that explains the world. These people are slightly problematic - they forward at random everything they see.
I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH SELECTIVE FORWARDING!
But newsitems about cats, hamsters, omelettes, hamsters in omelettes, fabulous pasta dishes, dildo disasters, hamsters in lieu of dildoes, and celebrity scandals (even with hamsters and dildoes) are not my tickky.
Neither am I fascinated by the pimple on Mustafa Barghouti's arse (infected!), or the acid-indigestion of Emir Faisal (stripped his stomach lining!). Opinionation about the fine details of the paint-job on the most recent Gaza boat (powder-blue!) do not interest me.
Whether the Palestinians can be trusted to polish European knobs (superior!) in a suitably flattering way (we like you!), or the charming shininess (blinding!) of Avigdor Lieberman's smile - dos alts iz mir gonz scheiss-egal. Echt und ba-emmes!
I'm subscribed to over a dozen news services.
When Abu Mazen blinks, I get to read about it several times, for several weeks.
Same for General Motors having a bad hair day (different news services and alerts than the Abu Mazen hiccough).
What fashionista Brüno thinks about the Hijab (fabulous!), or which delicious young slut (big tits!) Silvio Berlusconi is no longer treifing..... Meh, I'll read it online. When I get to it. And if.
SPECIAL PROMOTIONS JUST FOR YOU!
The Gazet van Antwerp, the Volkskrant, and several other European newspapers seem to believe that I wish to participate in reader surveys, prize drawings, on-line competitions or Oorah Auctions (actually, that's just Yeshiva Verld and a few other institutions).
I do not wish to win the free laptop. I shall not spend ten days in Ibiza upon winning the newspaper drawing. I do not need a complete makeover, or a recommendation for a boob-job.
Nor do I believe reports that I have won a huge lottery prize. Funds in a West-African bank can jolly well stay there.
I receive identical adverts for Ahava facial cleanser and super seforim sales from several different sources, as well as stern lectures from the J4J's (plus the same sermon three times each week!) despite my complexion being stunning, my Hebrew being limited, and my belief-system being decidedly un-Christian.
Even Amazon and Alibris have gotten into the act, along with several other book sellers. Collectively, they are convinced that I am a born-again Christian sexual deviant involved in stage-productions, as well as a collector of women's watches, handbags, and sexy high-heeled shoes.
My deleted items folder receives several hundred donations every day; it's grown fat and sassy from the frequent feeding.
MY BUTT HURTS!
I'm so connected I got wires coming outta my takht; the electrical sparks are probably setting fire to my haemorrhoid pillow.
Going back to the stone age is beginning to look mighty attractive. Nice soft rocks.
At this point, all I want to read about is SEX.
And the credit histories of prospective customers.
Please send me the names and addresses of delicious yet impossibly mature teenagers, or the payment habits of businesses applying for net thirty terms.
I promise I'll read it - especially the stuff about the teenagers.
Particularly if they are feisty, curvaceous, and petite, and live in SF.
If the businesses applying for terms are also feisty, curvaceous, and petite, that too.
And ESPECIALLY if they are located in San Francisco!
==============================================
NOTE: This message is aimed specifically at a woman in Westchester County (NY), and certain "newspapers". Plus the idiot who keeps sending me cute cat stories. Miao!
I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH SELECTIVE FORWARDING!
But newsitems about cats, hamsters, omelettes, hamsters in omelettes, fabulous pasta dishes, dildo disasters, hamsters in lieu of dildoes, and celebrity scandals (even with hamsters and dildoes) are not my tickky.
Neither am I fascinated by the pimple on Mustafa Barghouti's arse (infected!), or the acid-indigestion of Emir Faisal (stripped his stomach lining!). Opinionation about the fine details of the paint-job on the most recent Gaza boat (powder-blue!) do not interest me.
Whether the Palestinians can be trusted to polish European knobs (superior!) in a suitably flattering way (we like you!), or the charming shininess (blinding!) of Avigdor Lieberman's smile - dos alts iz mir gonz scheiss-egal. Echt und ba-emmes!
I'm subscribed to over a dozen news services.
When Abu Mazen blinks, I get to read about it several times, for several weeks.
Same for General Motors having a bad hair day (different news services and alerts than the Abu Mazen hiccough).
What fashionista Brüno thinks about the Hijab (fabulous!), or which delicious young slut (big tits!) Silvio Berlusconi is no longer treifing..... Meh, I'll read it online. When I get to it. And if.
SPECIAL PROMOTIONS JUST FOR YOU!
The Gazet van Antwerp, the Volkskrant, and several other European newspapers seem to believe that I wish to participate in reader surveys, prize drawings, on-line competitions or Oorah Auctions (actually, that's just Yeshiva Verld and a few other institutions).
I do not wish to win the free laptop. I shall not spend ten days in Ibiza upon winning the newspaper drawing. I do not need a complete makeover, or a recommendation for a boob-job.
Nor do I believe reports that I have won a huge lottery prize. Funds in a West-African bank can jolly well stay there.
I receive identical adverts for Ahava facial cleanser and super seforim sales from several different sources, as well as stern lectures from the J4J's (plus the same sermon three times each week!) despite my complexion being stunning, my Hebrew being limited, and my belief-system being decidedly un-Christian.
Even Amazon and Alibris have gotten into the act, along with several other book sellers. Collectively, they are convinced that I am a born-again Christian sexual deviant involved in stage-productions, as well as a collector of women's watches, handbags, and sexy high-heeled shoes.
My deleted items folder receives several hundred donations every day; it's grown fat and sassy from the frequent feeding.
MY BUTT HURTS!
I'm so connected I got wires coming outta my takht; the electrical sparks are probably setting fire to my haemorrhoid pillow.
Going back to the stone age is beginning to look mighty attractive. Nice soft rocks.
At this point, all I want to read about is SEX.
And the credit histories of prospective customers.
Please send me the names and addresses of delicious yet impossibly mature teenagers, or the payment habits of businesses applying for net thirty terms.
I promise I'll read it - especially the stuff about the teenagers.
Particularly if they are feisty, curvaceous, and petite, and live in SF.
If the businesses applying for terms are also feisty, curvaceous, and petite, that too.
And ESPECIALLY if they are located in San Francisco!
==============================================
NOTE: This message is aimed specifically at a woman in Westchester County (NY), and certain "newspapers". Plus the idiot who keeps sending me cute cat stories. Miao!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
ANTI-SEMITIC ORGANIZATION INT'L ANSWER BECOMING JUSTICE FIRST?
GUEST-POST BY "SLEEPING BUNNYRABBIT":
-------------
Modified 09:49 AM 05/13/2009
-------------
International ANSWER, known for subverting the peace movement with their anti-Israel agenda, appears to be trying to hide their tracks. Posters up and down Market street have the ANSWER address and phone number, but show the name "JUSTICE FIRST" - alleged to be "a newly formed national organization that is dedicated to fighting for people's economic, social and political rights".
[The brick-and-mortar location of Justice First and International ANSWER is at 2489 Mission Street.]
International ANSWER may have tanked their reputation with the public by their over-the-top "blame Israel for everything" antics, but they have most certainly made enemies of the Department of Public Works with their littering and nuisance-postering in several parts of the city. The latter issue has caused a legal problem for ANSWER.
The posters on Market Street were probably put up by ANSWER activists heading to the Federal Building to pack the public seating at ANSWER's Court of Appeals hearing on illegal postering.
Per the rebuttable presumption clause of the relevant ordinance, if an illegal poster has your organization's name and contact info on it, there is a rebuttable presumption that you are responsible for the posters that were put up. The burden is on you to prove the contrary.
The six elderly communists 'packing' the courtroom are merely there to create a threatening environment, as there will be no input permitted from the public in today's hearing.
------Sleeping Bunnyrabbit
================================
Here is part of a message that was sent out on behalf of the swine at ANSWER:
We are appealing for your support as our struggle for free speech with the San Francisco Department of Public Works (DPW) reaches a critical stage. The DPW has imposed fines for postering violations against the local ANSWER Coalition that now total more than $45,000! Similar circumstances also exist in Los Angeles and Washington, D.C.
There was an initial finding for the DPW in Superior Court, but the ANSWER Coalition and its renowned civil liberties attorney, Carol Sobel, have relentlessly pursued an appeal in order to protect free speech and the First Amendment. Our appeal is set for oral arguments before the California Court of Appeals this coming Tuesday, May 12, 9:30 am, 350 McAllister St. Division 2, San Francisco.
Ms. Sobel, who lives in Los Angeles, has very generously taken our appeal pro bono, but there are still many expenses for filing fees, travel and organizing work around the case. You have been instrumental in supporting previous campaigns, and we are asking for your help again.
Nearly all of the citations against us are for flyers and posters posted in the Mission District of San Francisco. We view the city’s campaign against us to be an integral part of the continuing gentrification drive in the area. Political and cultural notices are regarded as nothing more than "blight" by the developers and big property owners, and their friends in city government.
There are hundreds of volunteers who work with the ANSWER Coalition. We have a notice up in our office published by DPW regarding sign posting requirements, and inform people who pick up our material about the legal ways in which material can be posted. Our flyers are also available on-line, as is common practice these days.
We have no way to control what anyone does with the materials we make available. Yet, in the administrative hearings held in DPW, whoever's name is on a cited poster or flyer is presumed guilty under the doctrine of "rebuttable presumption." Before April 2003 when the ordinance was amended, there had to be an actual link shown between an individual and an illegally posted flyer. Not anymore.
In every case that we, or our attorneys have witnessed, the cited party is found guilty—whether or not they posted the offending flyer—and usually fined the maximum—an astounding $150 for each flyer and $300 for each poster! The DPW's position is that they don't have to show anything more than the name on the literature in question. There are no rules of evidence, in fact there is no real due process at all in these hearings.
That the DPW adheres to this "process" is hardly surprising given the fact that under the April 2003 amended ordinance, DPW now gets to keep all of the fines levied, instead of them going into the city's general fund. The fines of $150 to $300 for each flyer taped to a pole are ludicrous. If one is cited for a few flyers, the fines can easily exceed those assessed in many serious criminal cases..
The ANSWER Coalition, as you know, has played a key role organizing many mass protests against war, racism and bigotry of all kinds in San Francisco.. We have already been forced to divert from our real work far too many hours and thousands of dollars from our very limited funds. Now we are threatened with tens of thousands of dollars in fines, which would be impossible for us to pay.
================================
NOTE: International ANSWER and Richard Becker (Western Regional Coordinator of ANSWER) have been prime instigators of anti-Semitic actions in the Bay Area for several years.
An overwhelming majority of their events singled out Israel, no matter what the purported raison for the actual protest, and mister Becker himself is on record as having thrown a monumental tantrum in public at one point, screaming that the Zionists were behind it, the Zionists were behind it, the Zionists were behind it!
One of the things that International ANSWER has recently attempted to do is blame the Israelis and the Mossad for the police-shooting death of a black man in BART at New Year.
Previously, when certain city supervisors were covering for Richard Becker and his revolutionaries, charges against ANSWER's egregious littering, thuggish behaviour, and promotion of hate never went anywhere.
Fortunately the skin-blemished haramzad and most of his cadre of morally corrupt acolytes are no longer in office, and their influence has started to wane.
Still a few more to go before the city is entirely free of that lot, though.
Those who have been at ANSWER rallies can attest to the nauseatingly high level of anti-Semitism and anti-Israel venom.
The speeches by International ANSWER leaders and guest-speakers (most of which are findable on the internet) mark them as egomaniacs and psychopaths.
Except, of course, for that insane performance by Cindy Sheehan - I am still not quite sure what the heck she was trying to say, and no one else who listened to her that day has been able to figure it out either. She may have been on medication.
-------------
Modified 09:49 AM 05/13/2009
-------------
International ANSWER, known for subverting the peace movement with their anti-Israel agenda, appears to be trying to hide their tracks. Posters up and down Market street have the ANSWER address and phone number, but show the name "JUSTICE FIRST" - alleged to be "a newly formed national organization that is dedicated to fighting for people's economic, social and political rights".
[The brick-and-mortar location of Justice First and International ANSWER is at 2489 Mission Street.]
International ANSWER may have tanked their reputation with the public by their over-the-top "blame Israel for everything" antics, but they have most certainly made enemies of the Department of Public Works with their littering and nuisance-postering in several parts of the city. The latter issue has caused a legal problem for ANSWER.
The posters on Market Street were probably put up by ANSWER activists heading to the Federal Building to pack the public seating at ANSWER's Court of Appeals hearing on illegal postering.
Per the rebuttable presumption clause of the relevant ordinance, if an illegal poster has your organization's name and contact info on it, there is a rebuttable presumption that you are responsible for the posters that were put up. The burden is on you to prove the contrary.
The six elderly communists 'packing' the courtroom are merely there to create a threatening environment, as there will be no input permitted from the public in today's hearing.
------Sleeping Bunnyrabbit
================================
Here is part of a message that was sent out on behalf of the swine at ANSWER:
We are appealing for your support as our struggle for free speech with the San Francisco Department of Public Works (DPW) reaches a critical stage. The DPW has imposed fines for postering violations against the local ANSWER Coalition that now total more than $45,000! Similar circumstances also exist in Los Angeles and Washington, D.C.
There was an initial finding for the DPW in Superior Court, but the ANSWER Coalition and its renowned civil liberties attorney, Carol Sobel, have relentlessly pursued an appeal in order to protect free speech and the First Amendment. Our appeal is set for oral arguments before the California Court of Appeals this coming Tuesday, May 12, 9:30 am, 350 McAllister St. Division 2, San Francisco.
Ms. Sobel, who lives in Los Angeles, has very generously taken our appeal pro bono, but there are still many expenses for filing fees, travel and organizing work around the case. You have been instrumental in supporting previous campaigns, and we are asking for your help again.
Nearly all of the citations against us are for flyers and posters posted in the Mission District of San Francisco. We view the city’s campaign against us to be an integral part of the continuing gentrification drive in the area. Political and cultural notices are regarded as nothing more than "blight" by the developers and big property owners, and their friends in city government.
There are hundreds of volunteers who work with the ANSWER Coalition. We have a notice up in our office published by DPW regarding sign posting requirements, and inform people who pick up our material about the legal ways in which material can be posted. Our flyers are also available on-line, as is common practice these days.
We have no way to control what anyone does with the materials we make available. Yet, in the administrative hearings held in DPW, whoever's name is on a cited poster or flyer is presumed guilty under the doctrine of "rebuttable presumption." Before April 2003 when the ordinance was amended, there had to be an actual link shown between an individual and an illegally posted flyer. Not anymore.
In every case that we, or our attorneys have witnessed, the cited party is found guilty—whether or not they posted the offending flyer—and usually fined the maximum—an astounding $150 for each flyer and $300 for each poster! The DPW's position is that they don't have to show anything more than the name on the literature in question. There are no rules of evidence, in fact there is no real due process at all in these hearings.
That the DPW adheres to this "process" is hardly surprising given the fact that under the April 2003 amended ordinance, DPW now gets to keep all of the fines levied, instead of them going into the city's general fund. The fines of $150 to $300 for each flyer taped to a pole are ludicrous. If one is cited for a few flyers, the fines can easily exceed those assessed in many serious criminal cases..
The ANSWER Coalition, as you know, has played a key role organizing many mass protests against war, racism and bigotry of all kinds in San Francisco.. We have already been forced to divert from our real work far too many hours and thousands of dollars from our very limited funds. Now we are threatened with tens of thousands of dollars in fines, which would be impossible for us to pay.
================================
NOTE: International ANSWER and Richard Becker (Western Regional Coordinator of ANSWER) have been prime instigators of anti-Semitic actions in the Bay Area for several years.
An overwhelming majority of their events singled out Israel, no matter what the purported raison for the actual protest, and mister Becker himself is on record as having thrown a monumental tantrum in public at one point, screaming that the Zionists were behind it, the Zionists were behind it, the Zionists were behind it!
One of the things that International ANSWER has recently attempted to do is blame the Israelis and the Mossad for the police-shooting death of a black man in BART at New Year.
Previously, when certain city supervisors were covering for Richard Becker and his revolutionaries, charges against ANSWER's egregious littering, thuggish behaviour, and promotion of hate never went anywhere.
Fortunately the skin-blemished haramzad and most of his cadre of morally corrupt acolytes are no longer in office, and their influence has started to wane.
Still a few more to go before the city is entirely free of that lot, though.
Those who have been at ANSWER rallies can attest to the nauseatingly high level of anti-Semitism and anti-Israel venom.
The speeches by International ANSWER leaders and guest-speakers (most of which are findable on the internet) mark them as egomaniacs and psychopaths.
Except, of course, for that insane performance by Cindy Sheehan - I am still not quite sure what the heck she was trying to say, and no one else who listened to her that day has been able to figure it out either. She may have been on medication.
Monday, April 20, 2009
THE REALITY CHALLENGED FRINGE©
Years ago when you got into a discussion with strangers, there was always a chance that the conversation would head off into deep-space. Perhaps they believed in Masonic conspiracies or were convinced that cucumbers cured cancer.
But there were always certain subtle verbal warning signs that you ignored at your peril, ere you got to the glaring eyes and completely illogical assertions. Astute listeners would seek a graceful way out long before being accused of treason, lying, or space-alien loyalties.
Here in San Francisco, the subtle warning signs included chattiness, eye-contact, friendly sincerity.
So then, answer all questions with a grunt, roll your pupils, and insistently talk about meat and idols to religious types. That, plus several disconcerting nervous tics and much scratching, are guaranteed to keep you out of trouble.
Which explains why it often seems like SF has more disturbed people than anywhere else - We're just acting this way to avoid talking with you. Okay?
Alas, the Reality Challenged Fringe (R.C.F.) have discovered computers, and acquired e-mail. They have modernized.
ELVIS IS ALIVE AND WELL ON THE INTERNET
I mention this, because on one mailing list the discussion keeps returning to the assertion that Obama is a Muslim Communist born in Kenya, put in power by a vast evil conspiracy of ultra-left wing Democrats and Capitalists, with the connivance of most of the Democratic National Committee, the top ranks of the Republican Party, all of the mainstream media (dominated by ultra libs, including Fox), thousand of foreign conspirators, AND a network of traitors and liars put in place years ago in the Federal and State bureaucracies for this specific task.
[Plus, this Obama isn't the real Obama but a convincing simulacrum kept alive by electronic brainwaves.]
The argumentation of the cultists who believe this stuff consists of denying any and all evidence to the contrary, followed by demands to see Obama's birth certificate, 'why won't he show his birth certificate what does he have to hide he's hiding something or else he'd show us his birth certificate that isn't his birth certificate - we want to see the form signed by doctors and spattered with bloodspots from the wild animal sacrifice! It's green and Kenyato-Indonesian for a mooslim I know this waggah waggah!'
Then comes the suggestion that anyone who insists that Obama is validly president must be doing so for traitorous motives and we'll deal with them once the truth comes out.
To give the rest of us all a last chance to see the light, they keep forwarding links to World Net Daily, Obama Crimes (the vendetta website of Hillary loyalist Philip J. Berg, Esquire), and the Washington Times (the rev. Moon's propaganda rag).
Any further counter-arguments are met with repeats of sneering denial, more demands for the long form plus treason accusations, and yet more links to World Net Daily, Berg, and the Moonies.
Now I know why this is happening.
See, years ago, most of us successfully switched from Neviim 2.02 to MSRevelation. This meant that we also changed our spreadsheet programmes, graphic interfaces, and our e-mail. It was in many ways a monumental improvement, our lives sped up, and our functionality increased.
We no longer see the error messages from the bowels of the machine.
Consequently, we're not getting the memos. Anymore.
But they are. Still.
I just wish that they'd get on board the space ship already.
Go on, little birdies, fly away now. Be free. Be free.
Say hi to Elvis for us.
Meat. Idols. Meat. Idols. Boo!
Boo again.
But there were always certain subtle verbal warning signs that you ignored at your peril, ere you got to the glaring eyes and completely illogical assertions. Astute listeners would seek a graceful way out long before being accused of treason, lying, or space-alien loyalties.
Here in San Francisco, the subtle warning signs included chattiness, eye-contact, friendly sincerity.
So then, answer all questions with a grunt, roll your pupils, and insistently talk about meat and idols to religious types. That, plus several disconcerting nervous tics and much scratching, are guaranteed to keep you out of trouble.
Which explains why it often seems like SF has more disturbed people than anywhere else - We're just acting this way to avoid talking with you. Okay?
Alas, the Reality Challenged Fringe (R.C.F.) have discovered computers, and acquired e-mail. They have modernized.
ELVIS IS ALIVE AND WELL ON THE INTERNET
I mention this, because on one mailing list the discussion keeps returning to the assertion that Obama is a Muslim Communist born in Kenya, put in power by a vast evil conspiracy of ultra-left wing Democrats and Capitalists, with the connivance of most of the Democratic National Committee, the top ranks of the Republican Party, all of the mainstream media (dominated by ultra libs, including Fox), thousand of foreign conspirators, AND a network of traitors and liars put in place years ago in the Federal and State bureaucracies for this specific task.
[Plus, this Obama isn't the real Obama but a convincing simulacrum kept alive by electronic brainwaves.]
The argumentation of the cultists who believe this stuff consists of denying any and all evidence to the contrary, followed by demands to see Obama's birth certificate, 'why won't he show his birth certificate what does he have to hide he's hiding something or else he'd show us his birth certificate that isn't his birth certificate - we want to see the form signed by doctors and spattered with bloodspots from the wild animal sacrifice! It's green and Kenyato-Indonesian for a mooslim I know this waggah waggah!'
Then comes the suggestion that anyone who insists that Obama is validly president must be doing so for traitorous motives and we'll deal with them once the truth comes out.
To give the rest of us all a last chance to see the light, they keep forwarding links to World Net Daily, Obama Crimes (the vendetta website of Hillary loyalist Philip J. Berg, Esquire), and the Washington Times (the rev. Moon's propaganda rag).
Any further counter-arguments are met with repeats of sneering denial, more demands for the long form plus treason accusations, and yet more links to World Net Daily, Berg, and the Moonies.
Now I know why this is happening.
See, years ago, most of us successfully switched from Neviim 2.02 to MSRevelation. This meant that we also changed our spreadsheet programmes, graphic interfaces, and our e-mail. It was in many ways a monumental improvement, our lives sped up, and our functionality increased.
We no longer see the error messages from the bowels of the machine.
Consequently, we're not getting the memos. Anymore.
But they are. Still.
I just wish that they'd get on board the space ship already.
Go on, little birdies, fly away now. Be free. Be free.
Say hi to Elvis for us.
Meat. Idols. Meat. Idols. Boo!
Boo again.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
MY COMPUTER HAS A KIPPAH
On one of the mailinglists, the question was raised about permissible activity during Chol HaMoed.
[Chol HaMoed: חול המועד - the intermediate days of an eight day festival such as Peysach or Sukkos.]
What one MUST do is enjoy the holiday. But is one allowed to work?
Well, yes. Within limitations.
The five types of permitted work are as follows:
1. Davar HaAveid: Work which is necessary to prevent loss or damage provided it does not require overmuch effort (tircha yeteira).
2. Tzorchei HaMoed: Work that is necessary for yom tov or chol hamoed needs.
3. Bishvil po-eil she ein lo ma yochal: That which enables another to earn money for food or other yom tov essentials during chol hamoed.
4. Tzorchei Rabim: Work that benefits society.
5. Maasei Hediyot: Simple tasks, including makeshift repairs that are necessary.
Work that involves much effort, or professional competence, is discouraged.
Whether these conditions are d'oraisa or d'rabbanan is a matter of considerable debate - the Tur holds insists on the latter, Rabbi Yosef Karo opines the former. The Rambam waffles considerably on the issue, and the machlokes continues.
I have been at the office everyday during chol hamoed. I am, as you may have guessed, not a shomerish type person. But on the other hand, nothing I do really qualifies as work. Even during the rest of the year I am here to be entertained. This is my living room, my cockpit, my window on the universe.
Especially now.
There's a drawer full of chocolate hidden in the Accounting Department. All kinds of chocolate. A surfeit of seasonal goodness. And I know where it is. Not everybody does, but I do.
I am zipped to the eye-brows, all day, everyday. Life is very good indeed.
But, in honour of the season, and so that at least part of me is Peysachdik, I have placed a kippah on my computer. As a zeicher of the zaman. But also because without the computer I might as well be a half-wit.
This thing does a lot of my thinking for me, and there is much kedoosha within.
Caffeine. Theobromine. Sugar. Wheeeeeeee!!!!!! Chag sameach.
[Chol HaMoed: חול המועד - the intermediate days of an eight day festival such as Peysach or Sukkos.]
What one MUST do is enjoy the holiday. But is one allowed to work?
Well, yes. Within limitations.
The five types of permitted work are as follows:
1. Davar HaAveid: Work which is necessary to prevent loss or damage provided it does not require overmuch effort (tircha yeteira).
2. Tzorchei HaMoed: Work that is necessary for yom tov or chol hamoed needs.
3. Bishvil po-eil she ein lo ma yochal: That which enables another to earn money for food or other yom tov essentials during chol hamoed.
4. Tzorchei Rabim: Work that benefits society.
5. Maasei Hediyot: Simple tasks, including makeshift repairs that are necessary.
Work that involves much effort, or professional competence, is discouraged.
Whether these conditions are d'oraisa or d'rabbanan is a matter of considerable debate - the Tur holds insists on the latter, Rabbi Yosef Karo opines the former. The Rambam waffles considerably on the issue, and the machlokes continues.
I have been at the office everyday during chol hamoed. I am, as you may have guessed, not a shomerish type person. But on the other hand, nothing I do really qualifies as work. Even during the rest of the year I am here to be entertained. This is my living room, my cockpit, my window on the universe.
Especially now.
There's a drawer full of chocolate hidden in the Accounting Department. All kinds of chocolate. A surfeit of seasonal goodness. And I know where it is. Not everybody does, but I do.
I am zipped to the eye-brows, all day, everyday. Life is very good indeed.
But, in honour of the season, and so that at least part of me is Peysachdik, I have placed a kippah on my computer. As a zeicher of the zaman. But also because without the computer I might as well be a half-wit.
This thing does a lot of my thinking for me, and there is much kedoosha within.
Caffeine. Theobromine. Sugar. Wheeeeeeee!!!!!! Chag sameach.
Thursday, September 04, 2008
FORWARD, SISTERS! AGAINST THE ANGRY ZIONIST PATRIARCHATE!
I am in receipt of an e-mail from someone who believes that I am an African-American feminist lesbian, and will therefore be interested in revolutionary blows against the male-dominated neo-con imperialist status quo. Actually, I am not African American or lesbian - but truth be told, I may have advertently given her that impression. Oops.
Warning: not all e-mail exchanges with strangers calling themselves Malika, Leila, or Sharhazada are, in fact, contacts from valid new recruits for the Anarcho-Sexual Anti-Imperialists or the HomoSexual & Transgender Front For The Support of Palestine.
[Some of us actually think that you pro-Hamas poly-gendrics are stark raving mad, and really wish that you had developed as good a relationship with your therapist as you seem to have done with the repressive gynophobic patriarchy of the Arab world.]
Anyhoo, the e-mail that Sylphia forwarded contains some lovely text.
WOMEN IN BLACK NEEDS YOUR HELP TO DEFEAT THE ZIONIST!!!
Friday, September 5
At 5-6 PM
Montgomery and Market Streets, SF
San Francisco Women in Black (SF WIB) has been standing in opposition to War, Militarism, and Ultra-Right Nationalism for over 7 years.
We hold signs saying: End the Occupation of Palestine, Iraq, and Afghanistan!
Women's Rights are Human Rights! Dismantle the Settlements!
For the last several months we have been attacked by Zionists, a group of mostly men who have come bringing huge Israeli and American flags, talking, smoking and handing out flyers. Their purpose is to oppress us and to drive us away.
We need you to come and help us keep putting out the message that the Palestinians deserve their human rights! All womyn are invited!
----------------
I'm fairly certain that these lovely weiben oyf shvortz are aware of the oppression of women in Palestinian society and the rest of the Middle-East, yet they have chosen to support Hamas and the uber masculine warlords of the West-Bank as their signal contribution to revolutionary struggle.
I'm not sure how accurate they are in their portrayal of the group of Zionists who counterdemo them every first Friday - I know most of those Zionists, and consider them very liberal. Not insane, like many of the more radical residents of the Bay Area, but nevertheless far too left-wing to be entirely safe in the rust-belt, deep-south, or Alaska.
Several of those Zionists are in fact peaceful, female, and/ or gay. Being peaceful, female, and / or gay are positions very consistent with support for Israel, a nation where being any or all of those three things is socially safe and has legal and political protection.
I should probably point out that a peaceful gay female in Gaza or Tehran would probably be arrested, raped repeatedly in jail, and then stoned to death. Being gay in Egypt subjects one to brutal police harassment and broomstick penetration, and recent reports paint an unsavoury picture of sexual harassment in Cairo (virulent, omnipresent, and vicious).
Being gay or female is not safe or socially acceptable in Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Syria...... Well, anywhere in the Arab world except for nightclubs in the Christian districts of Beirut or tourist areas of Morocco.
But never mind. I now wish to draw your attention to the passage that the e-mail reminded me of.
JUDITH: I do feel, Reg, that any anti-imperialist group like ours must reflect such a divergence of interests within its power-base.
REG: Agreed. Francis?
FRANCIS: Yeah. I think Judith's point of view is very valid, Reg, provided the movement never forgets that it is the inalienable right of every man--
STAN: Or woman.
FRANCIS: Or woman..... to rid himself--
STAN: Or herself.
FRANCIS: Or herself.
REG: Agreed.
FRANCIS: Thank you, brother.
STAN: Or sister.
FRANCIS: Or sister. Where was I?
REG: I think you'd finished.
FRANCIS: Oh. Right.
REG: Furthermore, it is the birthright of every man--
STAN: Or woman.
REG: Why don't you shut up about women, Stan. You're putting us off.
STAN: Women have a perfect right to play a part in our movement, Reg.
FRANCIS: Why are you always on about women, Stan?
STAN: I want to be one.
REG: What?
STAN: I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me 'Loretta'.
REG: What?
LORETTA: It's my right as a man.
JUDITH: Well, why do you want to be Loretta, Stan?
LORETTA: I want to have babies!
REG: You want to have babies?
LORETTA: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
REG: But... you can't have babies.
LORETTA: Don't you oppress me.
REG: I'm not oppressing you, Stan. You haven't got a womb! Where's the foetus going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box?
LORETTA: [crying]
JUDITH: Here! I've got an idea. Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb, which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans', but that he can have the right to have babies?
FRANCIS: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother. Sister. Sorry.
REG: What's the point?
FRANCIS: What?
REG: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies when he can't have babies?!
FRANCIS: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.
REG: Symbolic of his struggle against reality.
[Source: Monty Python - Life of Brian]
It may not be entirely clear why the e-mail reminded me of the passage from LofB above. Just think about it. And don't call me Loretta.
I guess I should write Sylphia and tell her that, alas, Malika (or Leila, or Sharhazada) is far too busy this Friday evening, preparing a nutritious dinner for her husband and children after they return from the Masjid and break their ramadan fast. Sweet juicy dates, milk and honey, Sohan Halwa, Rice Pilaf, and Goat-leg soup! Yummers bismillah and Salaam Aleikum sister!
Note: No gentlemen named Muhammad or important members of the matriarchate were harmed in the writing of this post.
Warning: not all e-mail exchanges with strangers calling themselves Malika, Leila, or Sharhazada are, in fact, contacts from valid new recruits for the Anarcho-Sexual Anti-Imperialists or the HomoSexual & Transgender Front For The Support of Palestine.
[Some of us actually think that you pro-Hamas poly-gendrics are stark raving mad, and really wish that you had developed as good a relationship with your therapist as you seem to have done with the repressive gynophobic patriarchy of the Arab world.]
Anyhoo, the e-mail that Sylphia forwarded contains some lovely text.
WOMEN IN BLACK NEEDS YOUR HELP TO DEFEAT THE ZIONIST!!!
Friday, September 5
At 5-6 PM
Montgomery and Market Streets, SF
San Francisco Women in Black (SF WIB) has been standing in opposition to War, Militarism, and Ultra-Right Nationalism for over 7 years.
We hold signs saying: End the Occupation of Palestine, Iraq, and Afghanistan!
Women's Rights are Human Rights! Dismantle the Settlements!
For the last several months we have been attacked by Zionists, a group of mostly men who have come bringing huge Israeli and American flags, talking, smoking and handing out flyers. Their purpose is to oppress us and to drive us away.
We need you to come and help us keep putting out the message that the Palestinians deserve their human rights! All womyn are invited!
----------------
I'm fairly certain that these lovely weiben oyf shvortz are aware of the oppression of women in Palestinian society and the rest of the Middle-East, yet they have chosen to support Hamas and the uber masculine warlords of the West-Bank as their signal contribution to revolutionary struggle.
I'm not sure how accurate they are in their portrayal of the group of Zionists who counterdemo them every first Friday - I know most of those Zionists, and consider them very liberal. Not insane, like many of the more radical residents of the Bay Area, but nevertheless far too left-wing to be entirely safe in the rust-belt, deep-south, or Alaska.
Several of those Zionists are in fact peaceful, female, and/ or gay. Being peaceful, female, and / or gay are positions very consistent with support for Israel, a nation where being any or all of those three things is socially safe and has legal and political protection.
I should probably point out that a peaceful gay female in Gaza or Tehran would probably be arrested, raped repeatedly in jail, and then stoned to death. Being gay in Egypt subjects one to brutal police harassment and broomstick penetration, and recent reports paint an unsavoury picture of sexual harassment in Cairo (virulent, omnipresent, and vicious).
Being gay or female is not safe or socially acceptable in Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Syria...... Well, anywhere in the Arab world except for nightclubs in the Christian districts of Beirut or tourist areas of Morocco.
But never mind. I now wish to draw your attention to the passage that the e-mail reminded me of.
JUDITH: I do feel, Reg, that any anti-imperialist group like ours must reflect such a divergence of interests within its power-base.
REG: Agreed. Francis?
FRANCIS: Yeah. I think Judith's point of view is very valid, Reg, provided the movement never forgets that it is the inalienable right of every man--
STAN: Or woman.
FRANCIS: Or woman..... to rid himself--
STAN: Or herself.
FRANCIS: Or herself.
REG: Agreed.
FRANCIS: Thank you, brother.
STAN: Or sister.
FRANCIS: Or sister. Where was I?
REG: I think you'd finished.
FRANCIS: Oh. Right.
REG: Furthermore, it is the birthright of every man--
STAN: Or woman.
REG: Why don't you shut up about women, Stan. You're putting us off.
STAN: Women have a perfect right to play a part in our movement, Reg.
FRANCIS: Why are you always on about women, Stan?
STAN: I want to be one.
REG: What?
STAN: I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me 'Loretta'.
REG: What?
LORETTA: It's my right as a man.
JUDITH: Well, why do you want to be Loretta, Stan?
LORETTA: I want to have babies!
REG: You want to have babies?
LORETTA: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
REG: But... you can't have babies.
LORETTA: Don't you oppress me.
REG: I'm not oppressing you, Stan. You haven't got a womb! Where's the foetus going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box?
LORETTA: [crying]
JUDITH: Here! I've got an idea. Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb, which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans', but that he can have the right to have babies?
FRANCIS: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother. Sister. Sorry.
REG: What's the point?
FRANCIS: What?
REG: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies when he can't have babies?!
FRANCIS: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.
REG: Symbolic of his struggle against reality.
[Source: Monty Python - Life of Brian]
It may not be entirely clear why the e-mail reminded me of the passage from LofB above. Just think about it. And don't call me Loretta.
I guess I should write Sylphia and tell her that, alas, Malika (or Leila, or Sharhazada) is far too busy this Friday evening, preparing a nutritious dinner for her husband and children after they return from the Masjid and break their ramadan fast. Sweet juicy dates, milk and honey, Sohan Halwa, Rice Pilaf, and Goat-leg soup! Yummers bismillah and Salaam Aleikum sister!
Note: No gentlemen named Muhammad or important members of the matriarchate were harmed in the writing of this post.
Friday, July 25, 2008
THEY MUST NOT READ MY BLOG
On a daily basis I receive a fairly large amount of spam e-mail. On the basis of which I can understand what the spambrains think of me. Or at least what they fondly imagine that I am.
PROFILE
I am a short middle-aged bald person with a tiny penis and mediocre breasts, who is passionately interested in Britney Spears naked and the sex-lives of female celebritities. I need more fake watches, university degrees, and designer handbags. Plus excercise equipement, diet pills, and a tummy tuck.
And I want money desperately - hence the lottery e-mails from Europe and bank-account queries from Africa. As well as the circulars telling me to buy this stock now now now before Wall Street discovers it.
Lonely girls in Russia wish to share their vacation photos (I think that's what those are) with me, and I must learn one foreign language right now while I sleep - probably so that I can communicate with my insta-girlfriend in ANY city in the continental United States.
Quite the portrait, eh?
JEEBUS
Oh, and apparently I am a Christian. This according to Amazon, who cannot figure out that someone who buys Toratot (well, chumeshim), commentaries, and biographies of rabbis, as well as much stuff about the Talmud, may, probably, with a certain degree of likelihood, not be passionately committed to the best Christian fiction of 2008.
Echt. And b'emmes.
I am in gonzen not interested in reading about the first tentative married steps of a shy young virgin with Jesus in her heart. The uplift, the end of days, and the mark of the beast are not major themes I look for in romance fiction. Feeling sadness for those who are left behind in massive car-crashes on the freeway, after the heavens rain fire and blood, is not an emotion that figures heavily in my appreciation of paperback novels.
In fact, unlike you I could probably go for weeks without needing the words Christ, sin, Eden, rapture, salvation, Revelations, and The Damned. Normally they do not figure prominently in my vocabulary.
The only prolonged conversation I've had in recent years about Jesus was when I explained to a coworker that Torah study with a friend did not, would not, and never had, involved her dear lord in any way imaginable. Jesus and Torah study do not go hand in hand. They are in fact more or less mutually exclusive. This surprised her, and she barely spoke to me for at least the next two years. I believe she still wonders when I'll burst into flames.
It is a darned good thing that the coworker in question does not read my blog. She might take to wearing garlic and silver if she did.
READ THIS NOW
If many people had read my blog, it would have saved them much time and effort.
Hundreds of people in west-Africa might have realized that all the heartfelt missives they sent me over the years have fallen on deaf eyes. I am not their target audience.
The lonely Russian girls would know that I am only interested if they are petite, have dark hair, and blush prettily.
Amazon would cease telling me about wholesome Protestant novellas.
Various people in major European cities would know that I do not gamble, and have not played any games of chance outside of California.
The sellers of herbal supplements, breast enhancers, and three inch augmentifiers would appreciate that I am an enormous hairy manly man built like a rampaging stallion, and the Christians would grasp the utter nonsense of their ideology.
If you have sent me any of the spam mentioned above, please stop.
I do not need it.
I am only interested in panties, wombats, blushing schoolgirls, and elderly rabbis. Whether you want to sell these to me, or merely show me zesty pictures, is up to you.
PROFILE
I am a short middle-aged bald person with a tiny penis and mediocre breasts, who is passionately interested in Britney Spears naked and the sex-lives of female celebritities. I need more fake watches, university degrees, and designer handbags. Plus excercise equipement, diet pills, and a tummy tuck.
And I want money desperately - hence the lottery e-mails from Europe and bank-account queries from Africa. As well as the circulars telling me to buy this stock now now now before Wall Street discovers it.
Lonely girls in Russia wish to share their vacation photos (I think that's what those are) with me, and I must learn one foreign language right now while I sleep - probably so that I can communicate with my insta-girlfriend in ANY city in the continental United States.
Quite the portrait, eh?
JEEBUS
Oh, and apparently I am a Christian. This according to Amazon, who cannot figure out that someone who buys Toratot (well, chumeshim), commentaries, and biographies of rabbis, as well as much stuff about the Talmud, may, probably, with a certain degree of likelihood, not be passionately committed to the best Christian fiction of 2008.
Echt. And b'emmes.
I am in gonzen not interested in reading about the first tentative married steps of a shy young virgin with Jesus in her heart. The uplift, the end of days, and the mark of the beast are not major themes I look for in romance fiction. Feeling sadness for those who are left behind in massive car-crashes on the freeway, after the heavens rain fire and blood, is not an emotion that figures heavily in my appreciation of paperback novels.
In fact, unlike you I could probably go for weeks without needing the words Christ, sin, Eden, rapture, salvation, Revelations, and The Damned. Normally they do not figure prominently in my vocabulary.
The only prolonged conversation I've had in recent years about Jesus was when I explained to a coworker that Torah study with a friend did not, would not, and never had, involved her dear lord in any way imaginable. Jesus and Torah study do not go hand in hand. They are in fact more or less mutually exclusive. This surprised her, and she barely spoke to me for at least the next two years. I believe she still wonders when I'll burst into flames.
It is a darned good thing that the coworker in question does not read my blog. She might take to wearing garlic and silver if she did.
READ THIS NOW
If many people had read my blog, it would have saved them much time and effort.
Hundreds of people in west-Africa might have realized that all the heartfelt missives they sent me over the years have fallen on deaf eyes. I am not their target audience.
The lonely Russian girls would know that I am only interested if they are petite, have dark hair, and blush prettily.
Amazon would cease telling me about wholesome Protestant novellas.
Various people in major European cities would know that I do not gamble, and have not played any games of chance outside of California.
The sellers of herbal supplements, breast enhancers, and three inch augmentifiers would appreciate that I am an enormous hairy manly man built like a rampaging stallion, and the Christians would grasp the utter nonsense of their ideology.
If you have sent me any of the spam mentioned above, please stop.
I do not need it.
I am only interested in panties, wombats, blushing schoolgirls, and elderly rabbis. Whether you want to sell these to me, or merely show me zesty pictures, is up to you.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
SMELLS LIKE SCHOOL GIRL, SMELLS LIKE PENGUIN
Or at least, I would imagine that is what it smells like. It depends on your imagination, as I cannot identify the aroma, and refuse to speculate.
This is in partial response to two readers and their meshune queries.
--------------------------------------------
Spiros asked:
"Speaking as one who doesn't indulge in pipe tobacco, and isn't really that interested, a question presents itself: are there any tobaccos out there that smell like penguins?"
--------------------------------------------
Whereupon Grant Patel asked:
"Smells like penguins? Freshly laundered penguins, penguins after a herring-gut orgy, or rancid drunken penguins? In the pouch, or after lighting?"
Grant Patel further opined:
"This is a question for a rabbi. Or it is a question for a rabbit. Your choice. Not mine. I don't listen from bird-burning rabbits either."
--------------------------------------------
And a while later, someone who signs himself 'Eric the rabid tobacconist' chimed in with:
"The penguin is neither a bird nor an incendiaristic rabbit.
The penguin is a quadruped which lives in big rivers like the Amazon. It has two ears, a heart, a forehead, and a beak for eating honey. But it is provided with fins for swimming.
Penguins are larger than frogs.
Penguins are dangerous! If you see one where people are swimming, you should shout: 'Look out! There are penguins!'
Cuidado, cuidado, cuidado, cuidado, los pingüinos! "
Within mere minutes, the mad tobacconist found another post under which to scribble:
"Speaking as one who doesn't indulge in pipe tobacco, and isn't really that interested, a question presents itself: are there any tobaccos out there that smell like schoolgirls?"
--------------------------------------------
Therewith the comment slew came full circle. I mention all of this as an explanation of the title of this post, and will now propose ATBOTH's law:
As a comment string grows longer, the probability of a Monty Python reference cropping up approaches one.
It is a variation on Godwin's Law. If you are Bray in between frocking, you recognized that immediately.
The exception to Quirk's exception, as it applies to ATBOTH's law, is that the discussion will most likely continue until the audience's capacity for Monty Python references naturally exhausts itself.
For those who are interested, the Pythonesque bits above are the mention of penguins, the name Eric, the term tobacconist, and the odd monologue about penguins that finished with a warning in Spanish.
I will not buy this tobacconist, it is scratched.
All of this serves to introduce a mention of a pipe tobacco that I haven't smoked in well over thirty years. I was not particularly fond of it, by any stretch of the imagination, at that time. And I did not imagine I would actually enjoy smoking it now. But it is surprisingly good. A pleasant smoke, with an interesting friendly-ghost familiarity to the fragrance.
SAIL Natural
Smooth Dutch Cavendish
Manufactured by Royal Theodorus Niemeyer B.V.
Groningen - Holland.
From the package description:
Sail Natural is a sophisticated blend of easy burning rich Burley and mellow Virginia to which smooth tobaccos from Latakia, India and Indonesia are added.
I think it is lightly top-cased, but that could just be the reek of Kentucky. It smokes clean and evenly. If you treat it like a Virginia flake, despite the lack of a characteristic Virginia taste, and smoke it slowly, it will not bite. The room aroma is pleasant, and does indeed suggest the presence of Latakia - only just barely noticeable in the mouth. The pouch price says that this is a drug-store tobacco, but this pouch at least shows a quality that suggests it would be better branded in a flat tin, like many of the fancier mixtures. It is pleasant late at night, when Savage Kitten is asleep and cannot yowl furiously at my fuming, and it is also a good first pipe of the day - not too laden with nicotine and strong flavours. It reminds me of some of the Scandinavian oddments that were once so common.
I would buy it again.
ROYAL THEODORUS NIEMEYER
The concern was founded back in 1848 by general merchant and tobacconist Theodorus Niemeyer, whose father Meindert Niemeyer had been selling tobacco and other tropical products since 1819. The company was allowed to append 'royal' (koninklijke) to its name in 1969, a century and a half after the founder's father started his business. It was sold in 1990 to Rothman's, which acquired it from Gallaghers - I have not been able to find out when Gallaghers purchased it from the heirs to Theodorus Niemeyer.
In addition to Sail, the company is/was also know for Samson Shag and Javaanse Jongens (both are cigarette rolling tobaccos), Clan (the most rancidly nasty fruit-toffee-sugar flavoured so-called pipe tobacco in existence, banned on several planets as human perversion at its most extreme - but permitted in the inferno, in case you were wondering), and several other tobaccos, including Vier Heeren Baai (Four Gentlemen Bay tobacco), which I remember as a very decent thin ribbon cut Maryland, pleasant, mild, and nutty. Vier Heeren Baai was probably the best of the Baai tobaccos (so called because they were exported from the Chesapeake), all of which were plain unsauced ribbon cuts.
It is questionable whether the brand will continue to exist. British American Tobacco (holders of the Rothmans portfolio of products and brands since 1999), sold all pipe blends (excepting only Dunhill and Captain Black - the high end and the biggest selling low end respectively) to Orlik in February 2007.
Orlik, subsidiary of Skandinavisk Tobakskompagni A/S, transferred Niemeyer pipe tobacco production from Groningen to Holstebro in Denmark in February 2007.
[In addition to several well-known pipe tobaccos, Rothmans portfolio also included cigarette brands such as Dunhill, Peter Stuyvesant, Caballero, Benson and Hedges, State Express, plus Schimmelpenninck cigarillos. And many more.]
You will note that the pouch I am currently smoking states that it is from Niemeyer in Groningen. It probably predates the transfer. If so, that would explain it's mellowness.
TOBACCO INDEX
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
This is in partial response to two readers and their meshune queries.
--------------------------------------------
Spiros asked:
"Speaking as one who doesn't indulge in pipe tobacco, and isn't really that interested, a question presents itself: are there any tobaccos out there that smell like penguins?"
--------------------------------------------
Whereupon Grant Patel asked:
"Smells like penguins? Freshly laundered penguins, penguins after a herring-gut orgy, or rancid drunken penguins? In the pouch, or after lighting?"
Grant Patel further opined:
"This is a question for a rabbi. Or it is a question for a rabbit. Your choice. Not mine. I don't listen from bird-burning rabbits either."
--------------------------------------------
And a while later, someone who signs himself 'Eric the rabid tobacconist' chimed in with:
"The penguin is neither a bird nor an incendiaristic rabbit.
The penguin is a quadruped which lives in big rivers like the Amazon. It has two ears, a heart, a forehead, and a beak for eating honey. But it is provided with fins for swimming.
Penguins are larger than frogs.
Penguins are dangerous! If you see one where people are swimming, you should shout: 'Look out! There are penguins!'
Cuidado, cuidado, cuidado, cuidado, los pingüinos! "
Within mere minutes, the mad tobacconist found another post under which to scribble:
"Speaking as one who doesn't indulge in pipe tobacco, and isn't really that interested, a question presents itself: are there any tobaccos out there that smell like schoolgirls?"
--------------------------------------------
Therewith the comment slew came full circle. I mention all of this as an explanation of the title of this post, and will now propose ATBOTH's law:
As a comment string grows longer, the probability of a Monty Python reference cropping up approaches one.
It is a variation on Godwin's Law. If you are Bray in between frocking, you recognized that immediately.
The exception to Quirk's exception, as it applies to ATBOTH's law, is that the discussion will most likely continue until the audience's capacity for Monty Python references naturally exhausts itself.
For those who are interested, the Pythonesque bits above are the mention of penguins, the name Eric, the term tobacconist, and the odd monologue about penguins that finished with a warning in Spanish.
I will not buy this tobacconist, it is scratched.
All of this serves to introduce a mention of a pipe tobacco that I haven't smoked in well over thirty years. I was not particularly fond of it, by any stretch of the imagination, at that time. And I did not imagine I would actually enjoy smoking it now. But it is surprisingly good. A pleasant smoke, with an interesting friendly-ghost familiarity to the fragrance.
SAIL Natural
Smooth Dutch Cavendish
Manufactured by Royal Theodorus Niemeyer B.V.
Groningen - Holland.
From the package description:
Sail Natural is a sophisticated blend of easy burning rich Burley and mellow Virginia to which smooth tobaccos from Latakia, India and Indonesia are added.
I think it is lightly top-cased, but that could just be the reek of Kentucky. It smokes clean and evenly. If you treat it like a Virginia flake, despite the lack of a characteristic Virginia taste, and smoke it slowly, it will not bite. The room aroma is pleasant, and does indeed suggest the presence of Latakia - only just barely noticeable in the mouth. The pouch price says that this is a drug-store tobacco, but this pouch at least shows a quality that suggests it would be better branded in a flat tin, like many of the fancier mixtures. It is pleasant late at night, when Savage Kitten is asleep and cannot yowl furiously at my fuming, and it is also a good first pipe of the day - not too laden with nicotine and strong flavours. It reminds me of some of the Scandinavian oddments that were once so common.
I would buy it again.
ROYAL THEODORUS NIEMEYER
The concern was founded back in 1848 by general merchant and tobacconist Theodorus Niemeyer, whose father Meindert Niemeyer had been selling tobacco and other tropical products since 1819. The company was allowed to append 'royal' (koninklijke) to its name in 1969, a century and a half after the founder's father started his business. It was sold in 1990 to Rothman's, which acquired it from Gallaghers - I have not been able to find out when Gallaghers purchased it from the heirs to Theodorus Niemeyer.
In addition to Sail, the company is/was also know for Samson Shag and Javaanse Jongens (both are cigarette rolling tobaccos), Clan (the most rancidly nasty fruit-toffee-sugar flavoured so-called pipe tobacco in existence, banned on several planets as human perversion at its most extreme - but permitted in the inferno, in case you were wondering), and several other tobaccos, including Vier Heeren Baai (Four Gentlemen Bay tobacco), which I remember as a very decent thin ribbon cut Maryland, pleasant, mild, and nutty. Vier Heeren Baai was probably the best of the Baai tobaccos (so called because they were exported from the Chesapeake), all of which were plain unsauced ribbon cuts.
It is questionable whether the brand will continue to exist. British American Tobacco (holders of the Rothmans portfolio of products and brands since 1999), sold all pipe blends (excepting only Dunhill and Captain Black - the high end and the biggest selling low end respectively) to Orlik in February 2007.
Orlik, subsidiary of Skandinavisk Tobakskompagni A/S, transferred Niemeyer pipe tobacco production from Groningen to Holstebro in Denmark in February 2007.
[In addition to several well-known pipe tobaccos, Rothmans portfolio also included cigarette brands such as Dunhill, Peter Stuyvesant, Caballero, Benson and Hedges, State Express, plus Schimmelpenninck cigarillos. And many more.]
You will note that the pouch I am currently smoking states that it is from Niemeyer in Groningen. It probably predates the transfer. If so, that would explain it's mellowness.
TOBACCO INDEX
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Monday, November 27, 2006
TWO, FOUR, SIX, EIGHT, OUR SLOGANS TRAIL OFF ECCENTRICALLY - BEING A REPORT ON FRIDAY'S COUNTER-DEMO TO THE BAY AREA WOMEN IN BLACK
Well, the good news is that we managed to muddle their message. By dogging them and mingling in with their march, we confused several people into thinking it was more or less a pro-Israel March. We were helped by the fact that the women in black march silently, reproachfully, whereas we march noisily, and engage people in discussion. Plus our signs and flags are visually more engaging than dull females wearing shrouds.
The bad news is that though the media covered the event, they almost entirely failed to mention that there was a counter-protest, or convey the import thereof.
Part of it was the predictably slapdash approach of journalism.
Part of it was deliberate disregard - our spokesman explained what it was about, our flyers made that point, and our signs made no bones about it either.
And part of it was probably bias. A message that isn't simplistic and huggy just doesn't get into the papers or the television report. Our points of view are too complex, and not particularly feel-good. If each of us had our druthers, our signs would convey an entire thesis, with annotations and appendices. It is a struggle to be brief and to the point.
Nevertheless, "HAMAS MUST BE DESTROYED" is a far-less appealing message than some emotional bint wailing "what about the CHILDREN" (didn't actually happen, but that seems to be the gist of their issue).
You would've thought that our message would've been noted loud and clear by the media. It wasn't, and it may have gone over their pointy little collective head entirely. This despite the sterling efforts of the young fellow who got a hold of the bull-horn, keeping up a slogan-barrage.
But, after half-an-hour of hollering, he was punch-drunk with lack of sufficient oxygen and a depleted blood-sugar level.
And it is at this point that he dropped the rhetorical ball once or twice.....
"TWO-FOUR-SIX-EIGHT.......!"
Followed by no slogan. No catchy rhyming responsum. No content or context. Just a series of numbers followed by zero.
We really need to work on stuff to yell.
We also need to work on our songs - shabbesnacht songs, while nice, are jes' totally baffling at mid-day in a shopping area. A song in Hebrew greeting the angels of the most-high is more appropriate for Tzfas at sundown than Macy's at lunch-time. And the very nice episcopalian gentleman with whom I engaged in conversation while marching was somewhat at a loss when I explained the song to him - though he understood that a common song hoard among so diverse a group is necessarily extremely limited.
Still, if we are going to sing shabbesdikke lieder, how about doing lecha dodi and tzur misheloh next time? I'm rather fond of those two.
Or even a Yiddishe version of the Internationale - that ought to have a bitterly ironic resonance in the Bay Area.
Lastly, I should mention that a passing gentleman opined that we were the 'real Nazis'. I fear he may not have undertood what the term 'Nazi' actually means. It is sad that public education failed him so. He has my deepest sympathy. Every day is no doubt hard and confusing for him, a struggle merely to find his way out of his front-door successfully in the morning, and an occassion for jubilation when he does so without having made several wrong choices en-route to said door.
The bad news is that though the media covered the event, they almost entirely failed to mention that there was a counter-protest, or convey the import thereof.
Part of it was the predictably slapdash approach of journalism.
Part of it was deliberate disregard - our spokesman explained what it was about, our flyers made that point, and our signs made no bones about it either.
And part of it was probably bias. A message that isn't simplistic and huggy just doesn't get into the papers or the television report. Our points of view are too complex, and not particularly feel-good. If each of us had our druthers, our signs would convey an entire thesis, with annotations and appendices. It is a struggle to be brief and to the point.
Nevertheless, "HAMAS MUST BE DESTROYED" is a far-less appealing message than some emotional bint wailing "what about the CHILDREN" (didn't actually happen, but that seems to be the gist of their issue).
You would've thought that our message would've been noted loud and clear by the media. It wasn't, and it may have gone over their pointy little collective head entirely. This despite the sterling efforts of the young fellow who got a hold of the bull-horn, keeping up a slogan-barrage.
But, after half-an-hour of hollering, he was punch-drunk with lack of sufficient oxygen and a depleted blood-sugar level.
And it is at this point that he dropped the rhetorical ball once or twice.....
"TWO-FOUR-SIX-EIGHT.......!"
Followed by no slogan. No catchy rhyming responsum. No content or context. Just a series of numbers followed by zero.
We really need to work on stuff to yell.
We also need to work on our songs - shabbesnacht songs, while nice, are jes' totally baffling at mid-day in a shopping area. A song in Hebrew greeting the angels of the most-high is more appropriate for Tzfas at sundown than Macy's at lunch-time. And the very nice episcopalian gentleman with whom I engaged in conversation while marching was somewhat at a loss when I explained the song to him - though he understood that a common song hoard among so diverse a group is necessarily extremely limited.
Still, if we are going to sing shabbesdikke lieder, how about doing lecha dodi and tzur misheloh next time? I'm rather fond of those two.
Or even a Yiddishe version of the Internationale - that ought to have a bitterly ironic resonance in the Bay Area.
Lastly, I should mention that a passing gentleman opined that we were the 'real Nazis'. I fear he may not have undertood what the term 'Nazi' actually means. It is sad that public education failed him so. He has my deepest sympathy. Every day is no doubt hard and confusing for him, a struggle merely to find his way out of his front-door successfully in the morning, and an occassion for jubilation when he does so without having made several wrong choices en-route to said door.
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GRITS AND TOFU
Like most Americans, I have a list of people who should be peacefully retired from public service and thereafter kept away from their desks,...
