PIE FOR FINKELSTEIN

A frequent reader and occasional commenter draws my attention to the upcoming visit of Norman Finkelstein, kapo and collaborateur-extraordinaire of the International Phillistinist Enterprise, which will be sponsored by the usual gang of thugs at UC Berkeley - that being an Arab-funded operation going under the name of 'Students For Justice In Palestine'.


She writes:
I'd like to start a thread here (just making myself at home, sorry BOTH. Just another pesky Jew colonizing a blog and displacing the indigenous population).

Norman Finkelstein, self loathing Jew and enabler of anti-Semitism is talking at UC Berkeley next week.

On his blog he comes out in favor of "pie-ing" as protected free speech.

Since Israel, truth, and pie are all relevant to this blog, I'd like to ask the readership?

What pie for Norman?
I'm leaning towards pecan, since he's just plain nuts, but Bavarian cream has a certain poetic justice to it as well.

I've been doing my research, but I still can't decide.

"During the last great wave of pie-ings in the late 1990s, a British pie company, Tesco, actually tested all its varieties for aerodynamics, crust dispersion and creamability. For best results, the company recommended egg custard, lemon meringue and anything with a fruit filling. "All our pies fly extremely well," company spokeswoman Melodie Schuster proudly told The Wall Street Journal."

Any suggestions of a pie for Finkelstein?

Much thanks

-------Tia




Well, the first thing that pops into my head is tofu cheesecake (several recipes here), primarily because while it goes down smoothly, it will inevitably give you the runs. Tofu cheesecake is better than most laxatives in that regard, and proves, once again, that white folks messing with tofu are responsible for a lot that is wrong in this world. Tofutti, tofurky, tofam, tofalestinians, tofacon, tofu dogs, tofu ice cream, and tofu spam.


If you really want tofu, eat it with meat sauce.


MA PO TOFU (麻婆豆腐)

One block firm tofu (14 oz).
1/4 lb ground meat.
2 TBS chili paste.
2 TBS Szechuan hot bean paste (laat dou fan jeung 辣豆瓣酱).
2 TBS regular oil.
1 TBS chili oil.
½ TBS Szechuan peppercorns (fa-chiew 花椒,alternative name: san-chiew 山椒). roasted and finely ground .
½ Tsp fermented black beans (dou-see 豆豉) soaked and mashed.
2 scallions, cut to 2 inch lengths.
2 gloves garlic, chopped.
½ TBS soy sauce.
Quarter cup stock and a jigger of sherry.
Pinch of sugar, pinch of cornstarch - blended in a little hot water.


Cut tofu into chunks, blanch in gently boiling water, drain. Sauté the ground meat, garlic, and spicy bean paste in the two oils till the meat is no longer pink. Add the chili paste, dao see, and soy sauce, stir around to mix everything, then add the tofu, stock, and sherry. Cook, gently stirring (to prevent the tofu breaking up) for a few minutes, then add the fa-chiew, scallions, and the pinches of sugar and cornstarch which have been blended in a little hot water. Stir a little longer and plate it.


On second thought, even Norman Finkelstein doesn't deserve tofu cheesecake. Nobody does. But what would be utterly perfect is three day old Blue Peeps Pie (recipe here: Horrid Goyish Treif).

You will have to age it three days yourself. Or longer. Unrefrigerated is good.

You might also wonder what other colours of peeps for perverted pie would be appropriate - I favour the blue ones, because it would painfully remind the rat and his acolytes of Israel - especially if you sprayed whipped cream on the pie before serving it to him. Several days before serving it to him.
But any colour would do. Even red, black, white, and green (maraschino cherries, soft licorice, cool whip, and chunks of lime jello - think of it as Palestinian Ambrosia Salad).

Please discuss. And bon appetite!

FURRY FABULOUS FREAKS

Pursuant two items mentioned in Friday's posting: ONE, I do NOT have a hairy posterior. Any mention of the hirsuteness of my tuches was purely the invention of my significant other, by whose standards all white people are overly endowed with fur, fuz, pelt, hairy bits, and navel-lint. Chinese people are not so fortunate, and consequently I believe she resents my rather modest topographic behairedness.

Repeat, not hairy - except in her beady little eyes, at seven-thirty in the morning, when she is full of sugar and in a feisty mood. I feel I must stress this, because I have heard that the young daughter of a friend let out a stream of ew! ew! ew! and several icks upon reading Friday's post over her mother's shoulder. Which was almost immediately followed by the question "does he really have a hairy ....?", and the snapped response thereto "how the heck should I know? Why don't you ask him yourself!".

Again, no dense moss on the keel. Despite evil rumours to the contrary.


And item number TWO: Attended the Folsom Street Fair yesterday. As previously mentioned, it was in an informative and educational capacity.

Never have so many naked men been so glad to see me. One would scarce have thought it possible that a fully clothed person smoking a pipe and wearing a kippah would be so welcomed.
[I do not often wear a kippah in public, but if everyone else is wearing tribal colours (or by their lack of clothing advertising affiliations), then it makes sense that I too should "express my individuality by dressing like my companions". And note that many attendees did just that by being undressed exactly alike.]

First one up was a Jewish gentleman from Fresno, with whom my colleague and I had a nice long chat about Israel and pro-Israel activism. This is when I realized that it would be best for me to stand the entire time, so as to be able to have a face to face conversation. My colleague, however, had to remain seated most of the day due to a physical infirmity, poor man. He coped with that situation by frequent reference to a bottle of single-malt.

My associate has informed me that he wishes to forget for the rest of his life that this day ever happened, and I shall be sure to remind him in detail of the day when he is sober again.

The pamphlets about the legal position of gays in Israel, and the freedoms accorded them, as well as their serving in the IDF, were extremely popular. Even to people who were fully clothed.
The happy pro-Israel prophylactics (slogan: "Israel - It's still safe to come") proved a smash hit ("they're like fortune cookies - you never know what you'll find inside").

Several people took them with the excuse "I'm getting these for my friend; he's Jewish". Many of the people who said this were girls. One of whom gave a disciplined nod to modesty by wearing nipple-clamps with chains that kept her err, ums from doing anything untoward.
I do not know what she was wearing below the navel, as I maintained eye-contact.
Oddly, I cannot remember what her face looked like at all.

A cluster of dear sweet goth dominatrix lolita-types grabbed handfuls to stock the bathroom at work. I forgot to ask them where they work.

By physical evidence alone, the majority of men attending the fair may have been Jewish. Even the little Asian gentleman with no place to put the free literature or the condoms.

Many people wore black. I doubt that they were chossids, but it made some of us feel right at home.

Some people combined fetishes - clamped and studded vampire pirate catgirl with fairy wings and a strap-on furry tail, or a fat man wearing leather gag hog mask, handcuffs, and a pink ballerina skirt.
Also some people dressed like European or Japanese tourists in the wrong part of town - now that's a twisted fetish I don't even want to know about, those people are just sick, along with the men wearing diapers.

After eleven hours of the fair, I know more about studs, clamps, rings, straps, collars, corsets, chains, leashes, lashes, tattoos, eye-liner, and tight leather negligee than is really healthy. On the other hand, several of the attendees now know more about Israel and the middle-east than they ever knew before, and several remarkably well-endowed Jews know that there is a group out there that fights back against the anti-Semitism with which the Bay Area is sodden. As do several sympathetic quite unJewish gentlemen.
[Including one wearing fetching yellow knee-pads and nothing else. ]


So yes, it was a productive and worthwhile day. I'm glad we did it. We must have talked to hundreds of very positive people, and given away well over a thousand pro-Israel condoms.
Put them to good use, ladies and gentlemen, and make someone happy. Use them in the best of health. Or pass them on to a friend. Feel the love.

OBAMA, DEATH-METAL, AND THE SOUTH

Two of my occasional readers are arguing passionately about death-metal music and Islamic radicalism underneath one of my posts.


OBAMA, HAMAS, AND A ZOO


The two readers are Joe Izrael and Kylopod.

Yes, there have been other commenters there - but they got sidetracked, and continued their own obsessions elsewhere - mostly underneath later posts. Some people just commented once, and left.
[One of those 'lefties' was the gentleperson from Texas, where they have a lot of such people, who wrote: "And another thing, you commie loving chritstian hating asshole, what makes you think that Obama can be trusted in anyway? He isn't a n American, he wasn't ecudated here, and isn't even able to spalk to real people, only to intelligentsia and ellites in New york and calfirnsia!!!!"]


If you wish to join the discussion about Barak Obama and death-metal, please visit the post referenced above.

If you wish to make a fool of yourself in a very Texan and Christian manner (complete with misspellings and evidence of a lack of a functioning brain), please do so underneath this post - we welcome rednecks and ridgerunners who explore the wonderful world of Homo Sapiens. We promise we won't call Animal Control on you. And we realize that not all of you Trailerites have raped your sisters. Kudos. And bravo. There is hope for you yet!

Welcome. I love you all. Yes.

Sincerely,


-----The Commie-Loving Christian-Hating A''-hole Who Writes This Blog.



PS. If any of you visiting Dixie-Neanderthals wish to go into detail about your sisters, please don't. Incestuous inbreeding after a few generations becomes bestiality, and we really aren't into such things. You are, we understand that, more power to you, but please, we have sensitive stomachs. If at all possible, refrain from sharing. Thank you.

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Yes, I'm feeling pissy. Hence this post. But it's a cheerful pissy, not a gloomy and sour pissy. So don't worry - I still love humanity, and I'm not in a funk. If this post got you down, think about butterflies. Big smiling furry butterflies. Goodness, happiness, and prosperity will come your way if you do.