LUMPS AND SQUIDGY BITS

What we've determined this morning is that coffee is not, strictly speaking, necessary to act like a sentient adult. Highly desired by the test subject, yes. Essential, no. The test subject (me) got up at around five o'clock, shaved and showered, went outside for a smoke, and got on the bus over the hill entirely without a hot cuppa. Strolled into the lobby of the hospital and registered, then went down to the basement second level and checked in at the radiology department (放射實驗室 'fong se sat yim sat') fifty minutes before my appointment.


One old fellow dozing. One other looking barely awake. Two old ladies with slightly worried expressions. After a while one anxious gentleman, then another. I'm guessing the men were there because they were smokers, the old ladies because they had finally detected a lump.
All of them elderly Chinese.

Despite my not being Cantonese, I was there because I smoke.
Heaven forefend that I should find a lump.
Even someone else's.

Thoughts while a technician is moving a device over my front upper torso with one hand (thin layer of warmed gel for smooth sliding) and causing a machine to make jackpot sounds with the other: 1) Those ceiling tiles look exactly the same as the ones you see in horror movies. 2) Relevant line from the Rocky Horror Picture Show: 'come up to the lab and see what's on the slab'. 3) I wonder if anyone has ever exclaimed "good lord what the hell is that?" while doing this scan? 4) She apologized for having short arms. Well, they're fine.
Those are nicely shaped arms. Do NOT tell her that.

The liver artery (hepatic artery). The gall bladder. Presumably also the area where the appendix exploded six years ago. Plus other internal squidgy bits.

Then into a different room for the lung and upper torso (胴體 ' tung tai') x-rays (X 光 'ek si gwong'). An infernal machine. Do not look at the laser. Different technician, no warm gel. Buzz, buzz, buzz.

Outside and having my first coffee of the day well before this was supposed to be done with. Caffeine tends to lower the body temperature, which means that as I was lighting my pipe it did not feel as cold as it had moments before.

That pipe is older than I am. I got it from Marty Pulvers at Sherlock's Haven decades ago. The tobacco is considerably younger, tinned by Cornell & Diehl in 2023.
The coffee is fresh. It's sunny outside.
I am not a zombie.

That last needed to be said, because some people have expressed doubts.
They are predominantly young, and not in healthcare.
Zombies are not scanned, silly.


It is way too early.



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