NUMBNUTS IN THE HALLS OF POWER

Our president, who can't dance worth diddly, has ugly little hands, and didn't get awarded the Nobel Peace prize (because he did nothing at all to deserve it), dominates the news. Over in one of the idiot red states several people believe he was sent by Jesus, as if there wasn't plenty wrong with this festering garbage dump of a country already.

The last presidential election was in a very great part influenced by rot and fermentation. See, grampa Dingo was sent outside with his cigar to go smoke near the compost pile and not stink up the house. In his loneliness and senility he thought that the curdled milk and pungent remains of last weeks teevee dinners started talking to him.

It is precisely because of that situation that I would advise letting him smoke inside, in the warm embrace of his family, where he can listen to rational people.

It gets cold out there near the spoiled cabbages around the end of October. That effects bloodflow to the brain. The poor old bastard started praying.


Actually, if you didn't want him voting for 'Orange Jabba', you should have left him outside to catch peumonia and die, instead of letting him back in.


For all of this I blame cigars. Over the years I have encountered hundreds of cigar smokers, and nineties of them are cavemen.

There are very good reasons why we don't allow cigar smoking in grammar schools.

Cigars started taking over when morons and bankers decided that pipe smoking was just too difficult, dammit, as Texans they had better things to do than fuss with a pipe tool every now and then. A cigar is easy; just blast if with a four burner torch (penis substitute) till the tip is incendiarized, and then act cool and hip. Like a rap star or cattle rancher. Puff puff.

Whereas pipe smoking leads to neurosis, attention to detail, and sometimes a scientific bent. Thoughtfulness, perspicacity, and intellectual rigour.


That's NOT what this country is about. Most Americans think with their sexual organs.
We've got entire states where the population hasn't used a brain in years.
The bloody Christians are piling out of the woodwork.
Mental defectives. Who voted.

Get rid of those putrid cigars.
Smoke a pipe instead.



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