CHECKING THE LIST

The number of people who must be guillotined or firing-squadded on my list for when society breaks down keeps growing. Not surprisingly, it's mostly Republicans and Christians. And a few Jews. Not too many Muslims because in this country they're powerless and politically insignificant. Remarkably, it includes a few people who claim to be Hindus, which is a segment that has grown slightly over recent years.

There are also a few Dutch Americans on the list. Mostly from the areas where processed cheese is a thing. Christmas, as you know, is all about quantities of cheese. I may have mentioned that there is an excellent cheese shop three blocks from my dwelling.

I shall be going there very soon, while thinking kind thoughts about everyone who isn't rightwing, Christian, or reprehensible without necessarily being Christian. Quite a few Christians in the U.S., by the way, are anything but Christian.
Which is very Christian of them.

No, I shall not pray with you. We are enjoined by the Good Book, which surprisingly is filled with rapine, slaughter, incendiary events, and soft porn in the case of the Song Of Songs which is Solomon's (shir ha shirim asher lishlomo), to not participate in idolatrous rituals, superstition, witchcraft, and heretical behaviour.

That covers ninety percent plus of American religion. If there actually were a hell, much of the country would be going there. Probably right before or after an asteroid hit and wiped out the Midwest and the South. Which is devoutly to be wished.

I am looking forward to the cheese.

Sometime today, after participating selectively in the commercial frenzy traditional at this time of year, I shall enjoy a meal and a nice cup of milk tea away from seasonally insane people. Followed by a pipe filled with flue-cured leaf with smaller quantities of Perique and Kentucky fire-cured added. It will be very nice. It may trigger a few people who will wail from over half a block away "why are you doing this?" or "you're ruining my lungs!" or even in passionate fits of healthnut missionary fervor "that's BAD for you".

I'm partially deaf. So I shan't hear them.

Might even smile benevolently.

Which is deceptive.



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