THINKING ABOUT KITTENS

According to Pam Bondi and Kash Patel, burning Cybertrucks is an act of pure terrorism. And either encouraging or organizing such a crime is also a punishable act, which might net you twenty years. Possibly in a brutal Salvadorean prison run for profit. Let me therefore state, categorically, that I neither engage in any of those things, nor condone them.
Seeing as there possibly might be kittens inside.

Will no one think of the kittens?

Oh heartless world!

Kittens!

In a great many places criminals have torched Cybertrucks, in public, innocently parked along the side of roadways, or in lots, or harmlessly stashed in showrooms. There are in fact three Tesla dealerships within easy reach of San Francisco, a city which is known for and filled with kitten-hating terrorists.

Well, maybe they hate kittens. I don't know. I'm simply going by what our political leaders are saying. Who are undoubtedly worried sick about the kittens. As who wouldn't be?

Good right-thinking Christians all over the country are concerned about the kittens.

Kitten slaughter is a horrible thing. It's what those folks in Greenland do, then they skin them and wear them as slippers. Nasty! That's why we need to take over Greenland, so that we can bring them the words of Jesus and they'll stop killing the kittens.

Or Venezuela, where they eat them!

I've even heard that in some truly barbaric countries people (savages) give them Molson and Poutine, as if it's the most normal thing in the world, totally unconcerned with the pain this causes poor little baby Jesus! Canada is an awful place. Bigly.


And that's why should never torch a Tesla Cybertruck.

I strongly oppose torching anything.

Because of the kittens.



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