CONTRARY POINTS OF VIEW

Harshly he demanded "what are you doing here?" To which the glib response was "I am seeing a friend in the morgue". "What, a dead man?" "No." "Someone who works here?"
"No, a vampire." He could tell that this was going nowhere.

Several days later: "So you were there when he got shot, and yet you insist that you weren't a witness?" "Well, I was in the bathroom at the time." "You didn't see nothing at all, eh. How about before that?" "Bathroom." "After?" "Bathroom" "You were in there for twenty or thirty minutes?!?"

There were no witnesses. The bathroom had been crowded.

Urethral constriction refers to a narrowing of the urethra, the conduit through which urine passes from the bladder. It can cause difficulty urinating and other urinary problems. Among the possible causes are trauma from exercise, injuries, and surgical events, infections, minor (or major) inflammations, lesions, cancer and radiation therapy, and numerous medications. Plus, of course, an enlarged prostate such as is quite common among men after the age of fifty. Women don't get that. But either way, it does mean that casually taking a leak is quite out of the question; one needs a bathroom where one will not be disturbed, preferably one that is clean and well-lighted. The individual might do well to sit down, take his or her time, contemplate existence and read his e-mails. For up to half an hour.


I have taken to timing the old farts in the back, and giving them unsubtle hints ten to twenty minutes before I lock up. Because like the uncooperative witnesses in a bad teevee drama they dawdle and piss away the scant minutes at exactly that time of day when I have less time to spare and my minutes are tight.

IN LIEU OF AN ANATOMICAL DIAGRAM, A SEAL SCRIPT CHARACTER

I suspect several of them get up in the middle of the night, if they can remember, and slowly get distracted while reading their messages on their cellphones.
Or involved in long angry arguments.


Others probably go out into the backyard, and if they don't pick fights with the raccoons and coyotes it takes their kin several hours to find them the next day.

Try the morgue. He may be there.
Date night. Romantic.



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