THE FAMILY PORTRAIT

As you know Facebook often helpfully suggests possible friends based on similarities of interest, mutual acquaintances, memberships in various groups, shared highschools, and whether you were born in Outer Mongolia or Buratkent. And sometimes people volunteer for that. Ah, they think, this person also collects widgets. Surely we have much in common.

So I habitually examine their profiles. Is the candidate perhaps a kitten murdering bastard?
A voter for the filled orange diaper? Someone whose entire posting history suggests love, butterflies, and smiling hippos? A fervent believer in Jesus?
All the warning signs, in other words.

Friends are added gradually, after careful examination and thought.

Kittens and tea-drinking rabbits are okay. Jesus isn't.

It's a curated environment.

Over the past half decade I've been rather lucky. Only a few Christians, who behave very well and are socially responsible. No Trumpites and other kitten slaughtering deviants.
No people whose entire life revolves around pick-up trucks, gonzo conspiracies, and science-denying slope browed outbursts.

Several people who are quite familiar with Rashi, the Rambam, and the Ramban.
Plus thoughtful chaps (of either gender) who have interesting habits.
Sane past-life coworkers, and people into pipes.

Oh, and several sensible co-conspirators, but they were alread vetted in the real world, so there was really scant need to cyber stalk them first.

My own profile is not an open window. If you don't already know me, the only thing visible is two suspicious eyes glaring with malevolence through a crack in the blinds.

No spouse, significant other of any gender, or kids.
Only two actual relatives, mostly inactive.
No religious affiliation.


So I can claim that I am eccentric uncle Bertie at family gatherings, hiding in the library with the bottle of rum and tending to my lizard collection. Won't come out until everyone has left.
Please have a tea tray sent up at four o'clock.
Thank you.


Scoped out a dozen profiles today. All were rejected. Not enough lizards. Or too many.



==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================