MOTHER'S DAY PIPE MEETING

Salami, cream cheese, baguette, and something in the cured meats department. The meeting was sparsely attended -- only seven people showed up -- because many members have mothers or are involved with mothers. Which surprised me. And on that note, I saw a picture of one of our members holding a freshly-minted grandchild in Germany.
Where he presently is.

All babies look like Winston Churchill.
Either that, or a meatloaf.


THE AUGUST MEMBERS COME TO DISORDER

There were nearly as many bottles as people. Which, I suppose, is a good thing for a pipe club. There were no mothers in attendance. Several of the pipe smokers are old enough to let out of the house by themselves, and there is scant fear they'll come home with someone unsuitable.
There are no female members, which is a pity.


"You smell that? Do you smell that?... pipe tobacco, son! Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of pipe smoke in the morning, you know. One time we had a hill bombed, for twelve hours. When it was all over I walked up. We didn't find one of 'em, not one stinkin' cigarette fiend. The smell, you know that dark matured flue-cured leaf fragrance, with a smidgen of Perique, the whole hill.
It smelled like victory! Someday the war's gonna end ..."

"Do you smell it? That smell. A kind of smelly smell ... Anchovies. Anchovies!!!"


Okay, I may be mixing up my quotes. The second one is from Mr. Krabs, in Sponge Bob Square Pants. I will have to strongly suggest that next time there should be some anchovies. Maybe I'll even bring them myself.
Men who like strong flavours assuredly like anchovies.

When you're in the jungle facing Charlie, what would you rather have?
A nice tin of anchovies, or a lousy pack of cigarettes?
Darn right! You want the anchovies!


Neither of our two medical men were there this time. They're probably still smarting from the previous month, when I reminded them that more doctors smoke Camels than any other cigarette. Doctors in ALL branches of medicine, doctors in all parts of the country ...


No idea what the others were enjoying, but I had a bowlful of McConnell's Folded Flake going in one of my dad's old pipes, which he bought long before I was born. I hardly smoke it; it still smells like him.


From my perspective it was a pretty good meeting.
Still. No women. We've got to change that.

TOBACCO INDEX


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