VENERABLE WRECKAGE

That was a first. Someone in Chinatown called me "gramps". 爺爺 ('yeh yeh'). And I don't know whether to be horribly hurt, or feel flattered.
It's an affectionate, familiar, and somewhat respectful term.
For battered and antiquated old beans.

I. AM. NOT. THAT. OLD !!!!!

Well, okay, as a white person I show my age more accurately than most Chinese, but good lord it suggests that I am fossilized, rather than a still springy and vibrant studly man. Let me repeat: springy, vibrant, studly.


In the past my apartment mate would call me that, jokingly. The sound of it grates on the ear, exactly like the term 'Ah Sook' (阿叔), which applies to paternal uncles and, casually, older men. Also somewhat respectful, and acknowledging superior age. Rather than the springy vibrant studliness aforementioned. Which is extremely important.

I feel I must stress the youthful vigour and juicy manliness, because if you are Chinese and half my age (as the person who called me Yeh Yeh was), you might blithely assume that I am older than Jayzus and creak when getting up in the morning; all Caucasians look impossibly ancient.
Perhaps there is moss in my various cracks?
Or powdery dessicated wrinkles.
A withered twig.


I should also mention that I was quite the youngest person with a nice hot beverage there. And the only one with a spring in his step and a bound in his stride.


For crapsakes put on your glasses, little girl, you need them. What IS it with Chinese people and their horrible eye-sight?
Gottenyu.


Feel free to call me 'daai lou' (大佬) or 'lou paan' (老板).
That's totally cool.




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