Tuesday, May 06, 2014


While I was in Marin County, the Wall of Pease finally toppled. It had reached instability sometime last week, but all attempts to save it came to naught. Alas, I lament its short happy life (a mere four years), and promise to treat the corpse with all the respect it deserves.
An Embankment of Pease is in the works.
A far more durable construction.
Engineering masterpiece.

What, I hear you asking, was the Wall of Pease?

The answer, unless you are a pipe-smoker, may convince you that I am living in my own world, and you are certain you do not wish to join me there. The Wall of Pease was over two hundred tins of tobaccos that were blended by Gregory Pease (some dating back to 2005, many over five years old), which was constructed along the left hand side of my computer desk (where there are two devices I no longer use - they're older than the tobacco). What made it unstable to the point of collapse was the tin-fermentation, which, because the tins were sealed with enough air inside to keep the micro-organisms which change tobacco for the better over time still alive, had caused the oldest tins (Kensington, Black Point) to swell up.
In consequence they no longer stacked.
Several other tins also showed a nice bulgy quality.
I can only imagine how nice they'll be.
Rich, fecund, fruity.

No, I'm not insane. You just think I am.

It is somewhat possible that I am reaching the point of surplus. I have enough pipe-tobacco stashed to last well past my eventual demise.

That is an immensely good feeling.

Ashton, Astley's, Balkan Sobranie (1980, 1981, and Arango), Butera, Cornell & Diehl, Dan Tobacco, Davidoff, Dobie's Foursquare, Dunhill, Drucquer & Sons, Esoterica Tobaciana, Fribourg & Treyer, Gallaher, Gawith-Hoggarth, John Cotton, Kohlhase Kopp und Co., Mac Baren, McClelland, McConnell, Orlik, Pease, Rattray, Samuel Gawith, State Express, Solomon, Wessex.

My apartment mate long ago concluded that I was not strictly speaking sane and possibly even stark raving mad (hah, she should talk!) though quite safe. I shall of course aver that the sensible man will naturally stockpile pipe tobacco, in preparation of the day when it becomes impossible to buy, and illegal to sell. Anybody with an ounce of sense realizes that as people's stocks of tobacco dry up -- especially if they are cigarette smokers -- the Zombie Apocalypse becomes increasingly likely.

The do-gooders will be the very first to get eaten.

Followed by vegans and health-nuts.

I'm not worried.

The only part of the Wall of Pease that did not cascade downward was the section held up by the Tower of Rattray's. Which was supported by the Buttress of Thirty Five Year Old Blends Which Are No Longer Made.

I am fully prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse.

There is more than enough to smoke.

Or block all entry.


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