Sunday, August 18, 2013

THE NEW COLD WAR TURNS HOT. STEAMING, IN FACT.

There are two superpowers, locked in eternal conflict. But you will be glad to know that the United States, as always, is far, far better than the other side. We're just bigger. Got more oomph.
Our rivals do not even come close.


We've got 428 million.

They've only got 187 million.


England has fifty two million.
Germany has eight million.
Australia: two million.


But we have, at 428 million, 60% of all the porn pages of the world. We're the biggest. And most of those are hosted in California. Dudes, we rule!

[Source: http://www.emerce.nl/nieuws/nederland-virtueel-rosse-buurt.]


CALIFORNIA DREAMIN'

The Netherlands, with 187 million, hosts 26 percent of the total, which is impressive for such a small country, but it doesn't even come close. Still, compared to the others, those Dutch are a smut superpower.
The Japanese, with a population seven times their size, are only a surprising 0.27%, barely one tenth of their number. One would've expected it to be much higher, but Dai Nippon probably outranks them in quality.

However, at 428 million, sixty percent of all the nasty business on the internet, that means that we have more harshly-lit pimplous backsides moving in absurd ways and inglorious technicolour than anybody else in the universe. Given that around ninety percent of all smut produced in the United States comes from San Fernando, the great state of California hosts both Silicon Valley AND Silicone Valley.
It's something to be proud of.
Tell the governor.



ADDENDUM

We only produce one fifth the amount of methamphetamine than the Midwest, so there's still some work to be done. And the Netherlands is also a world leader in that field -- due to a combination of technical knowhow ('vernuftigheid') and that well-known mercantile drive of theirs -- so we may be vulnerable.

Still, we've got pot and tattoos!

And, due to immigration, far more stupid people from the Atlantic States than the Atlantic States. Or any other part of the country. Yay!



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