Thursday, June 21, 2012

CIGAR-SMOKING DEVIANTS

I regret my mis-spent youth. Angst, anomie, and profound self-doubt.
But I’ve had some vivid technicolour dreams lately.
I’ve eaten the devil’s own linguiça for dinner three days in a row. It has been a profoundly humbling experience.

This particular linguiça seems to be mostly cayenne and pork fat.
You will readily understand that it is utterly delicious. In so far as a WMD can be delicious.
Saddam Hussein was wise to hide his sausages.

As if the sheer torture of standing upright wasn't enough, the cigar smokers at the wall were exceedingly trying when I went over there to smoke my pipe. Apparently one of them has been circulating glossy adverts for midget porn, pursuant the case of a man in Las Vegas cursed with elephant testes.

I stood off to the side, desperately trying to ignore their inane hoots and laughter. One of them was passing around his portable device so that the others could see the illustrations.
They are ALL channeling for Agent Left Testicle.
Who has so far sent three MP e-mails.
That man is obsessed.

At one point, the combination of abdominal distress, low blood sugar level, lack of sleep, and the mental pressure of cigar-smoker prattle caused me to momentarily mistake the nearby pigeons for a flock of schoolchildren.
I swear they were looking at me. Staring fascinated.
Rude little bastards.
Shoo, shoo.

Normally I like children, and their tinkling laughter.
But I do NOT want them near me after linguiça.
They should only see a happy pipesmoker.
As an inspiring example to emulate.
Not pale and shivering.

Linguiça sandwich, linguiça steamed with tofu and ginger, linguiça with red beans and rice.
The sandwich was excellent as well as infinitely regrettable, the steamed dish was delicious and nearly floored me, and the zesty beans and rice have convinced me that I should avoid beans.
Many other things too, but mostly beans.

I am full of angst, anomie, and profound self-doubt.

Well, not so much filled.

Different word.


There's only a little of the evil sausage left.

I know what I'm having for dinner.

It's an excellent product.




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