Tuesday, September 16, 2008

SPIRALING INTO ANOTHER DIMENSION

A correspondent on the East-Coast wishes that I write something about Chassidim and their cigar-habits. A potential customer in the same neighborhood as the correspondent desires net thirty terms (N30). And a member of our sales department has told someone else that they can have net forty five (N45).

Sometimes it seems as if I am the only person actually left on the planet, and that everybody else has taken a vacation in fantasy-land.


To the cigar-chossid: Probably tomorrow. 'Siz a wichtige sach. Tzarich iyun.

To the potential customer: Why is your business located in a parking spot between the Red Hook recreation area and a vacant industrial lot out near the docks? And why did you list the precise location of Frankel's Shul as your home address? Are rabbis Wolvovsky and Levertov aware that you live in the basement of Kehillos Bnei Shlomo Zalman? Don't you think you should tell them already?

To the sales department: Stop smoking crack. If we haven't done business with someone in over three years, there is no reason to even think of net forty five (N45)! Please think in terms of prepay (PP). We have nothing on them. No up-to-date credit data. Zip-dash-diddly. Bupkes. And stop trying to kiss-up to those people. They don't really like you.

--- --- ---

All of these things explain, of course, why I do what I do. I love people. Particularly, I love their rich inner lives. I too have a rich inner life. But in comparison with some of our potential customers, and our sales department, my rich inner life is a mere shadow, a poor deficient beastie, a crippled and stunted little rich inner life. Their rich inner lives are the big mack daddies of inner lives. The gedolim of phantasmagoria.
Kol hakavod, y'all, I am jealous. Please do not wave your big inner lives around.
I think I need my blankie and my teddy bear now. And I just want to read a bit more about the Tzigarrer Chassidim - that looks comforting and non-threatening. Butterflies.

9 comments:

The back of the hill said...

Now it gets interesting.

I have confirmed with the sister-in-law of rav Levertov that there are apartments/living quarters above the shul. The downstairs is the shul, the upstairs is residential. She mentions that one would have to find out from someone who davens there whether the upstairs is currently occupied.
-----------------
Have meanwhile left a callback request at rav Levertov's number to confirm A) residential occupancy at present - yes or no, and B) is the name Xxx Xxxxx familiar to him?
-----------------
Not quite looking for verification of a chezkas kashrus, merely trying to find out whether applicant could in fact be legit. One would not want to cut a gitte & erliche mensh off at the knees.

Spiros said...

You want a rich inner life? I give you the rich inner life of Ms. Sarah Palin, who visualizes US rolling into Russia George Patton style if those Godless Ruskies don't stop picking on those po' Georgians (I guess that's what the famed Bridge to Nowhere is in aid of). I don't suppose that anybody has had the chance to brief Ms. Palin on the fact that the Georgia in question is not in fact the Georgia in which Ty Cobb was born, but the Georgia in which Josef Stalin was born; come to think of it, I'd be willing to trade our Georgia for Minsk-Pinsk, and maybe a case of vodka. Or some latkes.

Anonymous said...

Vodka, latkes, and cigars - sounds like a well-balanced lifestyle.

Who is Ty Cobb?


---Grant Patel

The Big Little Tommy said...

I can only dream of a rich, inner life. I am not quite sure if i would recognize it if i had it. I do sometimes have rich, inner thoughts, but i doubt that is the same.

Anonymous said...

Butterflies are often found in Jewish cemeterys - symboöic of female souls.
Pitbulls wearing lipstick are -as far as i know - not symbolic of any human or spiritual values.

&

pleez what is a "hockey mom"

I ask coz I know that hockey was - in the 1940's a pretty good sport for those of sapphic inclination to get to know each other.

Graham

Spiros said...

I crave rich inner thighs. Not my own.

Spiros said...

And Graham-
very few people in North America would associate Hockey with any sort of Sapphic inclinations.

Anonymous said...

And Spiros

OK North America is rather large - but still I insist.....

go speak to lesbians.

Graham

Spiros said...

I think it would be useful to distinguish ice hockey from field hockey.

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