Wednesday, May 07, 2008

OCCUPIES PREMISES IN BUILDING

Yours truly requests credit reports on businesses. It's a fairly standard thing to do - nothing unusual. I'm paid to be a snoop. So are the companies that put together commercial credit reports. Commercial customers have their credit researched. Normal.


Sometimes the credit report isn't worth the paper it's printed on (or would be printed on, if I bothered to print it out).

Especially when all the provider of the credit report can tell me about a business is "OCCUPIES PREMISES IN BUILDING".


OCCUPIES PREMISES IN BUILDING.


Weeee!

Who knew?

OCCUPIES PREMISES IN BUILDING!

I also occupy premises. In a building.

You, dear reader, probably do too.

Occupy premises in building, that is.

Many do. Building, premises, occupy ....... not uncommon.



The credit report provider's customer service chipmunks have tried to argue that this is useful information. Occupies premises in building.

It isn't.

The percentage of our customers who blithely conduct their business out in the field, fragrant hay for a desk and altocumulus for a ceiling, is very small.
Pretty much zip dash diddly. Statistically zilch. Nix im gonzen. Big fat zero. Scrawny anorexic zero. Zero in all worlds, including the ten sefirot. Zero squared, and zero behind the decimal.
How much more zero can it get?' The answer is 'none, none more zero, it can't get none more zero'.

As someone often on premises (in a building), I speak from a basis of familiarity, in this context, with the concept zero.

[Theatrically bangs fist on desk.]


LEAST USEFUL DATA EVER!

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