ENLIGHTENMENT IN SHORTS

Some parts of the country face heat warnings today, with temperatures over ninety degrees. San Francisco is not one of those places. We're going to be mid-sixties at best. Never-the-less, there will be people walking around in tee-shirts and shorts, because, you know. Gotta show off them tattoos. Especially while walking Ralphie. Ooh, look at me, I've got meaningful skin art AND a French bulldog, I'm very special. Not buff. Not attractive in any way, or even decorative if I keep my mouth shut, but special. This tattoo marks the first time one of my clients reached satori!

Dude, you're a g-ddamned junior stockbroker. Your clients NEVER reach satori.

Point is, we're not very warm here, and yet there are some people who insist on dressing themselves as if this were California. The nerve of them!

And by the way, I hate shorts. On most people they look rather silly, and on older men they are almost always appalling. Pole dancers and marathon runners are the only people who should wear them, possible exception being little kids. Tourists, never. This isn't Malaga, we have no Watney's Red Barrel, we are not hosting flamenco for foreigners, and if everything works out right there will not be previously frozen peas on your plate. We do have tea. Very likely not made properly, luv, but this ain't Brighton. Points for catching all those references.

No, I'm not jealous. I have no wish to show off my gams.
And neither should you.

That being said, I do enjoy the visuals of nice legs passing by. They're usually never mine, for aforementioned reasons. Nor anyone I know. No, I shan't go over and introduce myself.
It always rains on that parade, I am old enough to know that.

No, let's NOT exchange phone numbers.
That leads only to spam.

[Just got a call identifying itself as "Jason from Final Care Services" about an unallocated amount from 2025 ..... Which seems to be ninety plus percent of all the calls I ever get. Just for that, I think I'll refuse to die. So there!]

Word to the wise: if you search for "lovely thighs" on the internet, you are likely to get news articles about diet aids, excercise studios, pills, deep tissue massage, and whatnot on your MSN Start Page. And Facebook will seed your feed with sponsored content about all of that plus related videos. You don't need that. Because I am aware of the algorithm and its evil ways, I never search for lovely thighs.

The character above is satori (悟 'ng') written in sealscript. Feel free to have it engraved upon your dermis. Unless you live in Berkeley where everyone is a free spirit, most people who can read it will think you're an idiot. But it's meaningful, significant, and deeply spiritual, almost at the same level as burning sage and chanting.

I do not like your French bulldog. And your Grateful Dead tee-shirt needs a wash.
For some reason I have to think about Limburger cheese now.


Let's not do lunch.



==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================