BAN THEM FROM COFFEESHOPS!

It is too dark and wet outside to go out there with a pipe for the first smoke of the day. Which, even with a short bowl, would be twenty minutes or so. I just don't feel like it. Now, if I could smoke inside at a table with a hot cup of cappucino or a Vietnamese coffee while reading the Frankfurter Allgemeine or the Süddeutsche Zeitung, it would be different. But, thanks to the modern era and its poofle-minded sensitivities, the beverages availabe at this hour are tofu-based or a double decaf oatmilk chai latte with a splash of raspberry. And you cannot smoke your pipe inside, where it's warm and dry and well-lit, because the guy that ordered the the decaf oatmilk muck doesn't like it. Plus reading a newspaper triggers him.

The trees, man, what did they ever do to you?!? Well!?!

Will no one think about the trees??!!

A generation of Irmgard Dugewds and Swedish busybodies.


I would like to quote now from a politician representing the worst damned generation (before this one), if I may, “If you’ve seen one redwood, you’ve seen them all." That's either Nixon or Reagan. As good a justification for dumping agent orange on every living thing as there is. Especially people who drink "oatmilk chai lattes". Which what the heck is, by the way?
Not a single part of that makes any sense. Bloody wheatgrass weasels.

It is sad, sad world indeed when a civilized Dutchman cannot sit at a marble-topped table in an Italian café at the very top of Nob Hill with a steaming cup of cappucino (made strong, not weak, wussy, and waspy) OR a Vietnamese drip coffee (glass of tea while waiting) perusing the Frankfurter Allgemeine and the Süddeutsche Zeitung, happily smoking his Parker billiard acquired from Marty Pulvers decades ago, filled with Cornell & Diehl Carolina Red.

Aside from the aforementioned wussy-fussies, this is because there is no Italian café at the top of Nob Hill (although I know a vacant store front where there could be one, if this were a just universe), cappucino and Vietnamese drip coffee are seldom found in the same place, there aren't enough people able to read German in this city to make finding a feuilleton with real news easy, and I do not at present have an opened tin of Cornell & Diehl Carolina Red.


Things must change.



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