BITTER MELON AND AVOCADOS

No, not some fascinating and delicious recipe from one of the exotic cuisines of the world, just grocery shopping and handing a bag off to the elderly neighbor about whom we worry a bit. She's Indonesian Chinese, so unlike an anglo oldster the bitter melon is not a frightening object. A friend who is Parsi has, several times, indicated that she is still traumatized by bitter melon, having been forced to eat it because it's good for you, but most rational adults rather like it. For many of the dishes in which it will feature you can use wax gourd (節瓜 'jit gwa') instead, which will make them more appealing to little children and Anglos, but we're all adults here, right?

You cannot serve bitter melon (苦瓜，涼瓜 fu gwaa, leung gwaa') to most people in the British Isles. Unless you creatively combine it with Spam.

English cuisine, in short: Egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam; spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam; lobster thermidor aux crevettes with a mornay sauce served in a Provençale manner (with tomatoes, olive oil, and garlic) with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pâté, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.

All of which are accompanied by tinned beans and fried tomatoes.

And, in Southern California, avocado toast.

On second thought, lets not go to Southern California, it is a rather silly place. And I'm sorry, but I cannot give you a recipe for bitter melon and Spam, I will assume that you know how to cook and will come up with your own variations. Over rice with a splash of Sriracha or a sploodge of sambal (chili paste condiment).

And, speaking of such things, I should probably get her a jar of sambal oelek. That always comes in handy. I need to restock on that myself, seeing as sambal oelek (Dutch spelling, Indonesian is 'sambal ulek') is one of the basic building blocks of the kitchen upon which fundament many edifices are built.


I would love to claim that we Dutch invented sambal, but although we were instrumental with the process of it coming into being, we were merely coincidental. It happened during our time in Indonesia, and went along with with much of what we ate while there. So although it does overlap Dutch and Indonesian culture, it actually is Indonesian. But there is a vast array of chilipastes with other things added (sambals) available in the Netherlands, manufactured there, many of which are rare, regional, or quite unusual in Indonesia.
Often I make my own. But I start with sambal oelek.



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