A HURRICANE? HERE?

With rumours of a hurricane slimmish-possibly hitting California, because of weather deep out in the Pacific Ocean, the sensible man does not panic, but creates a checklist.
Neurotic, I know. But sadly necessary.

EMERGENCY AND DISASTER CHECKLIST

Bath Soap: Several bars.
Blood presssure pills: Enough.
Butter, Cooking Oil, Congealed Grease: Plenty.
Canned Luncheon Meat: A very great sufficiency.
Chili Pastes (sambal): Loads.
Cigarettes (imported and "grey" market): Good lord.
Coffee: You betcha.
Condiments: A great variety.
Condoms: No love life, ergo none.
Cookies: Several containers.
Crackers: Two or three packets.
Dish Soap. Loads.
Dried Tofu Stick: Two large bags.
Fish Sauce (魚露 'yü lou'): Large bottle, sixty percent full.
Kitchen Tissue: Three packs.
Lotion, Hydrating, for Old Geezer Skin: Extra bottle.
Medicated Foot Powder: Brand new bottle.
Oyster Sauce (蠔油 'hou yau'): Two bottles, one half full.
Pipe Tobacco, English-Balkan: I'll be dead before I finish it all.
Pipe Tobacco, Virginia and Virginia-Perique: Enough for several years.
Q-tips ("ear twiddlies"): Hmmm, might need to buy another box.
Roast Duck: Only a few pieces in the refrigerator, they'll be gone before the weekend.
Roast Pork: See duck.
Shampoo: Better buy some more.
Soy Sauce (豉油 'si yau'): A nearly full bottle.
Sriracha Hot Sauce: I'm good, thanks.
Tea (loose leaf & bags): yep.
Tins of Fried Dace (豆豉鯪魚 'dau si ling yü'): Plenty.
Toilet Paper: Two large packs of rolls.
White Cut Chicken (白切雞 'paak chit kai'): Same as the duck and pork situation.


So I think I'm more than adequately prepared.
Plus both I and my apartment mate recently did laundry, so that's okay too. If the hurricane hits this far north we'll simply sit it out going quietly insane from the isolation and tumult.

We're far enough uphill that even if the storm drains get blocked by piles of dead bodies we won't be washed out. And I've got enough matches and brand new Bic lighters that cleaning up detritus should be easy.


We're prepared for any eventuality. Everyone should have these things in their disaster kit, it's just common sense. If need be, some of it can be traded on the black market which will arise in the months before the Federal Government comes to our aid.


The chances of getting hit are infinitesimally slim.
Rather a pity when you think about it.



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