IT'S RIGHT FOR A WOMAN

Year ago someone remarked that the idea of my having a feminine side was frightening, downright depraved and unbelievable. Part of that was the fact that my feminine alter ego would be a pipe-smoker, like my masculine self is. Women, in his or her conception, had absolutely no business smoking pipes.

I beg to differ. One of the nicest females with whom as a young man I was acquainted smoked a pipe. She had a fabulous collection of classic shapes, enjoyed Latakia blends, and brooked little nonsense from men who thought that unsuitable for a lady.

There have always been women who smoked pipes.


That said, it might be worthwhile to consider what kind of woman I would be. Precisely like my male side, she would be bored to tears by sports. Quite likely beer would not be her alcoholic beverage of choice. Burgundy or Pinot Noir. During the day oolong or lapsang souchong. Perfume? Oscar Jasmine by Oscar de la Renta.

Given that I am more of a whisky person, and happily swill Hong Kong Milk Tea as well as Pu-Erh, we might find ourselves disagreeing on some minor matters, necessitating two teapots in that alternate universe.

The hardest part of imagining myself as a woman is deciding what kind of pajamas I would wear. Which would probably be flannel in cold weather, linen in Summer.
Plus fluffy vampire bunny slippers.



Late lunch today was 支竹牛腩 over rice. In the company of several women. Who were all at different tables eating alone. I had not noticed before that that place seems to be comfortable for the feminine gender, especially in mid-afternoon.

I did not ask them whether they themselves were pipesmokers, or if any of their relatives were. For all I know the moment they were out of sight they all whipped out fine briars and lit up.
That would not surprise me.

Well, except for the elderly one who needs too much attention.
I've got her pegged as a secret cigarette smoker.
Probably has an ivory holder.

Fine Virginia compounds, especially Rattray's Brown Clunee, Hal O' The Wynd, Marlin Flake, or Old Gowrie, are exceptionally suitable for women. Refined, classic, and straightforward. Please imagine the usual tall yellow hundred gramme tin on a writing desk, not hidden at all, just part of the minor clutter, with two or three briars discretely tucked into the envelope slot. Plus wooden matches and a three piece tool.

Some pipes evoke quiet evenings with a book.
A pot of tea ready on the side table.
Pajamas and a bathrobe.

TOBACCO INDEX


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