Wednesday, October 27, 2021

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY EAT IN MISSISSIPPI

What did the turkey vulture currently sitting on my bed have to eat today? Chips and grapes. There was no way I was taking him over to Chinatown to have a share in my chops. No doubt the people I see there on a regular basis already think me a bit eccentric, and I don't need Mah and Pah Slobkibble from Mississippi to think I'm nuts and tell all the little Slobkibbles in Gerbildunk (Mississippi) about the loony they saw in San Francisco.
Ever-hungry turkey vulture

There will be cookies later. That's food, right? And I will need someone to help me eat them. Once the chops (番茄豬扒飯 'faan ke chü paa faan') wear off. Probably somewhere around nine or ten o'clock.

While I do not want to share my very excellent chops with a bird, I wouldn't mind doing so with another person. Or having some of the lamb stew with tofu stick over rice (枝竹羊腩飯 'ji juk yeung naam faan') I saw as one of their wall specials while she (it would have to be a she) happily plows into the chops.

Sadly, asking a woman "excuse me miss (or ma'am) would you like some chops?" while direct and to the point, would come across as weird and twisted, and might ellicit a slap and a scream. Or multiples thereof. Skeevy and goofy is NOT my customary style.


"Excuse me ma'am, would you like some chops? They're juicy!"



With my luck, it's Jocasta Slobkibble. From Gerbildunk. In Mississippi.
Anyhow, next time I'm there I'm ordering the lamb stew and rice.
They have pastries. They have Hong Kong Milk Tea.
And they're nowhere near Mississippi.
It's a good place.



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