BEWARE OF MEN HANDING OUT CHEESE!

From an internet meme we have learned that "you may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese". Which seems like a plan. I myself haven't had a date in ages, and I rather like women, so I may very well decide to carry cheese with me where ever I go, on the off-chance. Of course, this being San Francisco, where we have high gustatory standards, it would have to be several cheeses. A sumptuous cheese plate, with representatives of soft, firm, gooey, stinky, and creamy. Absolutely no Limburger. It stands to reason that a fastidious woman would NOT be interested in Limburger (kind of the open sewer rotting space alien of cheeses).

"You may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese."

A good friend might suggest the Stinking Bishop, soft on the verge of gooey, available locally, but sometimes that is hard to find, and I'm thinking it's probably more appropriate after fascination has been achieved, and things have progressed considerably.


Almost all acceptable surfaces on which to put the cheese for nibbling contain gluten. So the pretentious hysterics would be eliminated right off the bat. Which is an added bonus.


"She refused the cheese! A glutenphobe, with issues!"


I'm a Dutchman, why didn't I think of this before?
This something I can do!

1. Step up to a likely person of the female persuasion.
2. Greet her politely.
3. Hand over a piece of cheese.
4. Wait for conversation.
The rest will follow naturally.

As a social strategy leading to "dating", there are no holes in it that I can see.

"The cat's eaten it!"

If she immediately starts referencing Mr. Mousebender and Venezuelan Beaver Cheese, so much the better. Also, bouzouki music.

This might get interesting. I'll keep you posted.



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