OBSESSED WITH LEKKERS

A conversation yesterday with the apartment mate, who had hamsters as pets when she was a little girl, led as such things do to the internet. Do hamsters fart? Apparently, yes. Hamsters are monogastric omnivores, and like humans they have microbes in their digestive systems that help with ingested fibres, so passing gas is inevitable and desireable.
Things ferment; gasses are produced; a fart ensues.

Cats and dogs do so also. Far less often, far more deadly.
I did not need the internet to find that out.


In other news, my gesture of calming and benediction plus uttering the phrase "there there" has NO effect. None. Squidly. Bupkes. It neither calms nor benedites.

Earlier in the day I had left the apartment for several hours because she wished to do a spot of housecleaning, as an early start of the weekend, what with being off for three days. Wandered down Taylor street with my pipe after loading it at Clay Street. The area between Clay and Taylor, and Jackson at Mason, is probably one of the nicest neighborhoods in the city. Very restful. By the time I was at Powell and Jackson I had finished the bowl, and I raised my mask above my nose. Opposite the hospital I spied some lovely bittermelon in the bins. I seriously like bittermelon. I also bought a jar of Lee Kum Kee chili bean sauce (辣豆瓣酱 'laat dau baan jeung'), then continued on to Walgreens for some crunchy poofs that were new and promised a hot and spicy taste, which I discovered later was mostly red food colouring powder and sugar. Hot and spicy, in white folks terms, means squat. I should know this by now.

Bought roast duck on Stockton Street. A twenty pound bag of rice on Washington.
Decided against dim sum. Smoked a second pipe on the way home.

Lunch was Shantung noodles (老山東家常麵 'lou saan tung gaa seung min') stirfried with bitter melon, chili bean sauce, and curry paste: 咖喱涼瓜炒麵 ('gaa lei leung gwaa chaau min').
Extra ginger. Topped with roast duck.



WE ARE EAGLES, MAN, EAGLES!

Also, I should understand by now that many white people are intrinsicly opposed to wearing masks, because their big noses need freedom, the thrill of the open road, god, air, family, and stripey flags blowing into their nostrils, what America was all about! Leastways, I counted over two dozen of the maskless white cretins in Chinatown. If we never get out of pandemic mode it will be because of hosers like them, and in all honesty the faster they catch the damned plague and shuffle off this mortal coil, the better all the rest of us will be. During another pipe in my own neighborhood, over a dozen wandered past while I was smoking.
Why don't y'all just hurry up and die, dammit.

You're letting the side down!

I guess you can't drink your fancy Starbucks white person beverages on the street with a mask on, huh? Maybe you should hide yourself safely out of sight, like in your own burrows or cave dwellings. Put your mask on so your stupidity doesn't spread, stop sipping your damned hazelnut vanilla syrup low-fat ventay, and go away.


Resolution for the coming year: more milk of human kindness, and tolerance.
But both of those extremely selectively.



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