NOT UNCLE ROGER'S RICE

A few months ago someone alerted me to Uncle Roger and his opinions about fried rice.
I barely watched the videos, because the accent grated. No one I know talks like that.
And, as you probably already know, I speak Cantonese.
Often with people who don't speak English.

Now, I understand that the Uncle Roger persona is supposed to be an 'in' joke. Allegedly many people have a know-it-all Hong Kong uncle with a cheesy accent.
But his version lacks the I don't know I'm trying to remember the right word how do you say it hesitancy, and is too fluent and glib besides.
There's something 'off' there.

Anyhow, I saw a few seconds of the video he did on how to cook fried rice. Can't remember it, so what I did for an easy dinner the other night was probably entirely wrong.
But I've kind of always known how to do fried rice.


炒飯 ('chaau faan') FRIED RICE

First fry the shiznit. Then add yesterday's rice, and peeled shrimp if you want. Some chilipaste, beaten egg in a well in the middle, a few quick turns, and voila. Nasi goreng.

Shiznit in this case, if you are Dutch, consists of minced onion and optionally spek (bacon). Plus, for that typical Dutch meaty taste, nutmeg. If you are Cantonese, green onions and ginger. Anything other than shrimp and egg must be added according to the time it needs in the pan, so somewhere between adding the rice and the few quick turns. A typical Cantonese combination would be dried fish and small diced chicken plus thinly sliced lettuce for a fresh greeny touch, a Dutchman would throw in some chopped cooked sausage and some peanuts, with a bit of something Indo curry flavoured if that is available.
The egg is essential, and a predictable constant.
Shrimp are sometimes metaphorical.

Uncle Roger would probably tell me that it was quite inedible.
But we probably agree on the absence of peas.
Peas do not belong in food.
They're nasty.


If you really want to jack it up, sprinkle cheese on top and shove it under the broiler. Sort of the Hong Kong neighborhood chachanteng approach. With or without a ladle of white sauce or mild coconut curry sauce.Your mainland relatives will be horrified.
As well as mesmerized and intrigued.



Yesterday's version had two kinds of vegetable in addition to the chopped onion, with some garlic and shrimp paste. Plus a squeeze of lemon when plated.



Yeah, I know, this is the second essay involving rice in less than a week.
I'm obsessed with rice. Rice is food.


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