THAT CLEAN FEELING

This blogger should have known better. After a long day at work, made much longer by the fact that I am still weakened from my recent appendectal mis-adventure, I was desperate for news.

On my days off I devour it, but abstain while on the job.
So of course I cruised into a favourite news site.

In consequence of which, I now know more about "vaginal steaming" and "vulva facials" than is healthy for anyone. Let alone a man of delicate sensibilities such as myself.

Not even half an hour of reading recipes for zesty mutton curry could wipe my mind clean of the horror.

Some people are entirely dumber than a fireplace log.

Good-fricking-lord.


Ladies, your private parts are NOT a pork patty with salt fish (鹹魚蒸肉餅 'haam yü jing yiuk beng'). No matter what you've been told.
Was it in high-school?


What on earth is wrong with you?


Look, the only thing that you need to do is use clean neutral soap and lukewarm water, precisely like men do. At least I presume most men, and no, I haven't asked (nor will I) any of the people I know, for all I care some of them treat their privates as a long lost dog that's been rolling in carrion, with industrial hand soap, thorough shampoo, conditioner, and fragrant oils and shit, I don't care, but normal people, sensible people, do NOT squat over a basin of boiling water, no matter what their shaman or Iron John tell them.

This is California, so I suppose I do know people who "yoni cleanse" or "thingy condition", of several different genders. Trust me, I do not seek them out, I don't ask the pertinent questions, and they can damage themselves "privately" all they want. But even if it looks like a food-stained seventies shag rug down there, it won't ever require deep cleansing with steam.

And men, cut out the fragrant oils.

It's not a scented candle.

Soap and water.

Rinse.




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