FRIED FABULOUS

It is only now, at the crack of dawn on Thursday, that I realize that of the four food places where I spent time during my weekend (Tuesday and Wednesday), not a single one of them contained any white people besides myself. Not that I missed them, but it's weird. The only reason for this I can think of is the absence of Sweet'n Sour Pork, as well as the fact that it was obvious, and deliberate.
If there is no Sweet'n Sour Pork, it frightens white people.
Something fundamental is "wrong".


"Oh look honey, let's go in, it's filled with Chinese people eating stuff".

"No dear, we can't. It's filled with Chinese people. Eating. Stuff."


Can't identify what it is that they are eating, but that's NOT Sweet'n Sour Pork, so it isn't food. That, I imagine, is the operative set of principles here.

A lunch counter with a selection of good things to eat. A bakery with scrumptious egg tarts, mooncakes, charsiu turnovers, lo po beng, and milk tea. A chachanteng on Pacific with noodles, porkchops, and black bean fish. And milk tea. A sweets place, with really very good milk tea. Only three of those places had milk tea, so it can't be that that's frightening them away.

None of the four places has Sweet'n Sour Pork. Quod erat demonstrandum.

The fourth place did have French Fries. Chinese women are voracious French Fry eaters, my eyes tell me. Every table with female customers had French Fries, in addition to whatever else. I also like French Fries, but I was there for tea.
I've never had their French Fries.

If men loved French Fries the way those women loved French Fries, we'd all be big as elephants. The female metabolism runs at a higher speed than ours.

What most men need, obviously, is Sweet'n Sour Pork.



Sweet'n Sour Pork, Pizza, Fries

If, hypothetically, a restaurant wanted to do fabulous business and make its owners rich beyond the dreams of mortal men, a large neon sign saying "Sweet'n Sour Pork, Pizza, Fries" would pull them in like fire ants on a cadaver. The pizza is for children, frat boys, and old people watching their diet.

Sweet'n Sour Pork, Pizza, Fries.

I think I'm on to something.




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