THE EMERGENCY DATING SITE

Years ago I was very briefly subscribed to a dating site. Nothing happened. As, having read some of my posts on this blog you would expect. It was probably the fact that I wasn't vegan and had neither a dog nor tattoos. Everybody LOVES dog-owning vegans.
Well, also the other people didn't appeal to me.

And perhaps it was my picture.

I don't do selfies well.


Also, I don't text, drive a car, abstain from tobacco, or carry my cell-phone everywhere.

Given that most of the calls I get are from someone calling himself 'Michael' or 'Brian', or their feminine equivalents, anxious to tell me all about the exciting changes this enrollment period, burial plots, and air ducts, and asking very many personal questions like my age (timeless) and how many children I have (zero) it seems stupid. The cellphone always stays exactly where the landline phone used to be. Which is precisely right.


If, dogforbid, I ever join another dating site, I've got just the right profile picture.

ME EATING DUMPLINGS

Eating dumplings is not only far more likely than getting a tattoo, avoiding tobacco, or having an emergency ("help, I've fallen and I can't get up") by the side of the motorway in El Dorado County (someone suggested 'emergencies' as a good reason to carry the device with me at all times). In fact, this afternoon I will probably have dumplings. In Chinatown.
Instead of driving to El Dorado County to have an emergency.

Timeless. No actual pets. I like dumplings.

And there are no airducts.

Unfallen.



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