AVOID RED ZONES

According to statistics recently released by Mapping Police Violence, as published in the SF Chronicle, there is less chance of getting killed by the cops in California than ever, whereas in Texas and Florida figures are heading higher and higher. Your chances of a negative experience with law enforcement in both of those states are, of course, damned well stratospheric if driving with California plates or queueing outside a polling place in a Democratic precinct. As well as breathing while brown.

Try not to be brown, okay?
At least not so much.

My negative fondness for Red State America is based on being casually told by a fellow student in the first year that I was back in the US that "we kill people like you where I grew up" and numerous red, white, and blue Americans telling me over the years that I should return to wherever the hell I came from because of the way I speak English.

So whatever you do, stay out of Texas, Florida, and the fly-overs, and don't drive a rental car from California, congregate in Democratic precincts, or be non-white. Or talk funny, as if you were a foreigner or reasonably literate. It's bad for your health.
Your happiness and well-being are vastly improved in those places if you're an overweight beer-swilling goober so white you glow in the dark.

Yessirree, I sheerly love my fellow Americans and wish them well with their sherrifs. As well as alcoholism, diabetes, malfunctioning mobility devices, and the high incidence of sexually transmitted diseases in places like Louisiana, Mississippi, and Placerville. Which is baffling. How? I didn't know that sponge on a stick could infect your partner.
How do they even have partners?

Also, when IS Caterpillar going to start manufacturing three-wheeled scooters with little baskets for sixpacks in the front? Does Everrun make personalized forklifts?

The sherrif's department has probably never shot anyone riding a mobility vehicle, though lord knows they'd barely have to aim. And by the way, this explains why half the damn' country lives in trailerparks. Only one storey, easy access.


Bless their clogged hearts.

I love you all.
Peace out.



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