COLD WITH A CHANCE OF KITTENS

The first hour of the day often belongs to kittens. Not having any pets of my own, I often waste an inordinate amount of time looking at animals on the internet, in between reading the news and checking the weather during my coffee. Apparently the temperature will be frigid, and there's a slight chance of kittens. The Middle East is a mess; there are kittens everywhere.
The collapse of the Labour Party, and riots in Asia. Kittens.
The Republicans are vile and corrupt.
And fervently dislike kittens.
Democrats love kittens.


And there you have it.


I do not mind the dog hardware, but it really should have kitten programs installed on it. And some do. Golden retrievers (who think they're just like us, but entirely overlook opposable thumbs), Pekinese ("you worship me, hooman"), dachshunds (paranoia over-ruled by curiosity), and otters (not at all confused, just defiantly the best of three worlds).

The fact that I have a Hello Kitty backpack (for my pipes and tobacco on work days) has nothing to do with this. That's a defiant rebellion against 'the man'. Nothing says middle-aged pipe-smoking bachelor like a Hello Kitty accessory. There should be Hello Kitty tobacco pouches and pipe-tampers too, even a Hello Kitty lighter, but in the meantime, the bag will do.

It baffles the cigar smokers of my ken.


This rejection of orthodoxy frightens them.

Yesterday, they made animal noises instead of talking about politics or sports, and then spent half an hour fondly reminiscing about "I dream of Jeannie", a "fantasy sitcom starring Barbara Eden as a 2,000-year-old genie and Larry Hagman as an astronaut who becomes her master, with whom she falls in love and eventually marries. Produced by Screen Gems, the show originally aired from September 18, 1965 to May 26, 1970 with new episodes, and through September 1970 with season repeats, on NBC" (Wikipedia).

That series was before my time, and for most of my life I haven't watched television. For me the golden teevee years were watching Monty Python on KQED with my grandmother in Berkeley, and a few years of the X-Files, plus Forever Knight (a dashing vampire from the Middle-Ages as a modern day police detective in Canada with "health" problems), as well as the first two years of Absolutely Fabulous. Oh and a few food programmes. Julia Child bathing in butter, some German chef getting potted on the cooking sherry, and Anthony Bourdain.

And Muppets. When I grow up, I want to be just like Kermit the Frog.
But in a world where Miss Piggy isn't stalking him.

I'll be heading out later for lunch at a chachanteng in Chinatown, with a pipe and an umbrella for afterwards. In case there are kittens.



One of my very good friends doesn't like kittens, but he's slightly defective.



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