Tuesday, February 12, 2019

BUT, BUT, BUT, IT'S OBLIGATORY!

Over the years the internet, news media, and advertising have suggested a whole bunch of peculiar ways to celebrate holidays. As an example, you should really buy a new Toyota or Ford for either Martin Luther King Day or Presidents' Day. No better way of honouring great achievements! And, per something I wish I had not seen, Valentine's Day means a chair, slutwear, and nasties that would shock your relatives and your pastor. Which it does in the Bible Belt, and if you live there you should tell them all about it.
Make them jealous, and never have to speak to them again.
Which may be the win-win to end all win-wins.
Always excepting bruises and therapy.

Yes, I do think that many Americans are crazy.



Years ago the head of my department proposed to his wife-to-be on Saint Valentine's Day at a fancy restaurant. The best part of that was that it would be impossible to forget the date.

Actually, that's probably the only good part.

A good way to ruin Valentine's Day for the rest of her life if she refused.
Also hard to top that and do something better, and it commits you to always do something extra-super-romantic that's better than the previous year.
So probably not a good idea.



I still think the new vehicle for Martin Luther King Day is berserk. Which Marketing genius had that inspiration? Nothing commemorates the civil rights struggle better than a car?



In that vein, I would suggest that Valentine's means a box of good cigars. That way you can ensure that he's out of the house for sheer hours, and might never know about your addiction to delivery pizza.
Or she. Cigars are not gender-specific.
Neither is pizza.

Plus that aroma adhering to his clothes is infinitely sexy!
Dang, girl, he's a veritable Stanley Kowalski!
Rip those jeans off of him!

I experience romance vicariously.
And purely by imagination.
I am an expert.



Most of the people I know do not observe Valentine's either.
Other than the pizza, we are all heathens.




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