GLOOP AND FRIED DOUGH FOR LUNCH

Recently there was too much roast duck. "How can there possibly be too much roast duck", I hear you say, "How can that even be?" That's a good question. Especially if you know my penchant.
But trust me, there can indeed be.

She bought a whole duck.

She attended to my birthday happiness. Because she values birthdays (her own is coming up in two months), and I believe she rather likes living with a grumpy old troll who more than tolerates stuffed animals, most of whom act rambunctious, demand snacks of unknowable provenance, and will steal my wallet when I'm in the bathroom tending to my personal cleanity.
Often when I return freshly showered and shaved, I find a cluster of the little criminals tussling over my bills, or sometimes poncing around with one of my briars, saying "hubba hubba hubba lookit me I am the famous philosopher Bertrand Arthur William Russell!"
They never pretend to be Tolkien.
Tolkien was a dildo.

Hobbits, feh! The Ewoks of an Oxford linguist's brainfart.

Anyhow. Too much duck. And charsiu. Every day since Friday. Wherefore my constitution feels a bit stressed. Something simple and easy on the stomach may be required. Such as, for instance, rice porridge.

But where, and what kind?

鮑魚粥 ('baau yü juk'): abalone rice porridge.
鮑魚滑雞粥 ('baau yü kwat kai juk'): abalone and chicken rice porridge.
柴魚花生粥 ('chai-yü faa-sang juk'): dried fish and fried peanuts rice porridge.
猪肝粥 ('chyu gon juk'): pork liver rice porridge.
猪骨滚生粥 ('chyu gwat gwan saang juk'): pork bone poached rice porridge; a selection of fresh and dried mushrooms with ham cooked in a rice porridge made on a basis of pork broth.
豬紅粥 ('chyu hong juk'): rice porridge with cubes of gelled pig's blood.
豬肚肉片粥 ('chyu tou yiuk pin juk'): pork liver, tripe, and fresh pork slices rice porridge.
豬潤粥 ('chyu yeun juk'): pig gloss jook, an alternative name for rice porridge with pork liver.
豬什粥 ('chyu sap juk'): pig whatevers jook; miscellaneous pork oddments rice porridge.
帶子粥 ('daai-ji juk'): scallops porridge.
火鴨粥 ('fo ngaap juk'): rice porridge with roast duck.
滑雞粥 ( 'gwat kai juk'): chicken chunks rice porridge.
虾粥 ('haa juk'): fresh shrimp rice porridge.
香菇肉鬆粥 ('heung gu ngau song juk'): black mushrooms and pork floss rice porridge.
蠔豉瘦肉粥 ('ho si sau yiuk juk'): dried oysters and lean pork rice porridge.
海產粥 ('hoi chaan juk'): mixed seafoods rice porridge; shrimp, clams or mussels, and squid.
海参粥 ('hoi saam juk'): sea cucumber rice porridge.
海鮮粥 ('hoi sin juk'): mixed fresh seafood rice porridge.
雞球粥 ('kai kau juk'): chicken rice porridge.
羅漢粥 ('lo hon juk'): Arhat ("Luo Han") rice porridge; a luxurious vegetarian preparation made with carrots, bamboo shoots, dried mushrooms, wood ear, straw mushrooms, and white fungus.
牡蠣粥 ('maau lai juk'): fresh oysters rice porridge with pork and garlic.
銀耳粥 ('ngan yi juk'): white fungus rice porridge, mildly tonifying.
北菇雞球粥 ('pak gu kai kau juk'): black mushroom and chicken porridge.
皮蛋牛肉粥 ('pei dan ngau yiuk juk'):preserved egg and beef porridge.
皮蛋瘦肉粥 ('pei dan sau yiuk juk'): preserved egg and lean pork rice porridge.
三黄粥 ('saam wong juk'): three yellows porridge; soy bean, sweet potato, and millet gruel, served with a little golden sugar. It's healthy.
生滾蝦球粥 ('sang gwan ha kau juk'): jook with fresh shrimp cooked by the heat of the porridge.
生滾牛肉粥 ('sang gwan ngau yiuk juk'): rice porridge with sliced beef poached in the hot gloop.
生滾肉片粥 ('sang gwan yiuk pin juk'): jook with sliced pork cooked by the heat of the porridge.
蝦球帶子粥 ('sin haa daai-ji juk'): fresh shrimp and scallop porridge.
爽滑肉丸粥 ('song gwat yiuk yuen juk'): rice porridge with pork meat balls.
碎牛粥 ('sui ngau juk'): rice porridge with minced beef.
田雞粥 ('tin kai juk'): fresh frog rice porridge.
窩蛋免治牛粥 ('wo dan min ji ngau juk'): nested egg floating freely cow jook; minced beef and egg porridge.
魚片粥 ('yü pin juk'): fish curls rice porridge.
魚片豬紅粥 ('yü pin chyu hong juk'): sliced fish and pork blood porridge.
魚片皮蛋粥 ('yü pin pei dan juk'): preserved egg and sliced fish porridge.
魚片瘦肉粥 ('yü pin sau yiuk juk'): sliced fish and pork porridge.


Rice porridge ("jook" in Cantonese) is greatly good, and just the ticket. But because it is so simple, though requiring attentiveness and brilliance to do well, most places will have less than half a dozen choices, and sometimes it becomes the afterthought on an extensive menu.

I know every jookery in Chinatown.

It is a quandary.


One of the key things is the fried oil stick. If that is lacking or a failure, the experience is lessened. The fried oil stick is crucial.
There are limitations to Chinatown.

No, I seldom go to the Chinese restaurants in the avenues, be real! There are no honest Chinese folks there, they all speak Mandarin and cook for bollocky no-taste Midwesterners!


油條

There is one "restaurant" on Stockton Street which does a fried dough stick that is very nasty. The place is incredibly popular, because they are cheap. They also sell dim sum and various prepared dishes, the customers are total pillocks, and the service is haphazard, and sometimes downright irritating when they didn't understand my Cantonese.
I will probably not go there.

The little bistro on Waverly which had superior jook and truly lovely fried dough sticks (Utopia Cafe, 蔘滿意粥, near the intersection with Washington) no longer exists.

[蔘滿意粥: 'saam mun yi juk'. The restaurant there now is still called Utopia in English, but something else in Chinese (牛麵王 'ngau min wong': "beef noodle king"). 
I haven't tried them yet.]

One place where the women who work there know me and always treat me with home town consideration does not appeal today, because their dough stick is a bit leaden, and leaves me feeling bloated.
That isn't what I aim for this time.


I will probably end up at the cheap lunchcounter run by decent hardworking Toishanese. Though there are only three jook choices, their fried oil stick is good (as is their cheung fan), and it is a great place for people-watching.



Gotta leave the house soon.
Before it is all gone.
Pipe after.




==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================