NOODLES, TOMATOES, AND A PORK CHOP

Once you descend the narrow street, the smells of toast, and tomato stews hit you. And you understand why this ramshackle cafe on Mei Lun Street is popular among the neighborhood people. Underneath the tomato scent, beef brisket soup. But you decide that it is too warm to eat hot food, and you amble on, to avoid temptation. Two blocks further something else.
Dried fish. Not strong. Delicate almost. And then, faintly, a ghostly hint of durian.
Maybe you should have stopped for someting stewy with tomatoes?
Perhaps you will. Next time.

Years ago I smelled durian while descending Sacramento Street at two thirty in the morning. So I followed my nose (always a bad idea) to the intersection of Valejo and Stockton, where a small lump of rotten fruit flesh peered up at me from the gutter. Six blocks.
It had sent its sirene aroma quite a distance.


Beef noodle soup with tomatoes is actually delicious on a warm day. So perhaps you should have stopped for a bite. Yes, they use instant noodles -- many restaurants do, it's an accepted local taste -- but made with fresh tomatoes, the result is stellar at a low price.

And, if an insane fit hit you, you might have durian afterwards.
I am intellectually more fond of durian than in reality.
It's one of those things stuck in the mind.
Or, quite often, the nose.


Like stinky tofu, Hong Kong people have a berserk love affair with it which is entirely baffling. Durian is quite delicious if you stop breathing for five minutes to enjoy the suggestion of vanilla pudding or custard, but once it's entered you nostrils it lingers, and hours later might come back to haunt you. So I can't say I enjoy it any more.

But I like introducing innocent people to its charms.

Beef noodle soup with tomatoes is much easier to like, and quite delicious. Nowadays most of my meals involve noodles, sometimes with fresh vegetables including tomatoes, sometimes with a curry broth. Nothing involving long simmered stocks or tamarind, because I'm lazy.
Just stuff thrown together with a careful plan. And chili paste, of course.


Sing Heung Yuen (勝香園) in Sheung Wan is a famous dai pai dong that has a reputation for pretty darn good tomato stew noodle dishes. Typical Hong Kong style, and your choices of meats include everything that you might add at home; luncheon meat, sausages, egg, odd meats, pork chops, chicken wings. And bacon.


"Please allow some time as all food are prepared fresh to order. Apologies for any inconvenience caused."


They also have toast with condensed milk, butter, and kaya.
And hot Coca Cola with lemon and ginger.




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PORTUGUESE CURRY CHICKEN RICE

Sometimes cooking is the most therapeutic thing a person can do. Heck, it often is. Last night I fixed myself some baked Portuguese chicken rice like they have in Hong Kong ... but with extra chilies and ginger. And some stewed stalky mustard green ... also with extra chilies and ginger.

Perhaps I overdid the extra chilies and ginger.

But I was cooking for myself.

So, okay.


ARROZ COM FRANGO
[焗葡國雞飯]

Baked Portuguese chicken rice as it is usually made in Hong Kong consists of a foundation of egg-fried rice on top of which partially cooked chicken (such as for instance ripped-up leftover roast chicken) and parboiled potato chunks are placed, Portuguese sauce a la Hong Kong poured over, shredded cheese sprinkled generously on top, grated coconut optional. This composite is put in the oven till hot, then under the broiler till the cheese browns.

Hong Kong style Portuguese sauce ( 葡汁) is a mild coconut curry sauce, not too heavy on the coconut milk or the curry, possibly thinned with a little chicken stock. To make it more Portuguese-y I fried some chunks of chouriço first, then added the spices, roux, and liquids.

If the Portuguese chicken is to be eaten as a meal, the chicken is browned, with some garlic, onion, and carrots all added at the appropriate time.
Then simmered in the sauce.

None of this is really Portuguese, you must understand. It's a Hong Kong working men's restaurant re-interpretation of fusion food from Macao.


As I mentioned, extra chilies and ginger.

It was hearty, and comforting.

I'm up early today.

Very.



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VERY HONG KONG CANTO

Last year the ABC (ABC大餐廳) on Jackson Street closed down, and while it was never one of my top ten eateries, I had quite enjoyed eating there at least once or twice a month for many years, for a variety of reasons.
Not all of it was the food. Indeed, they did have Sriracha hotsauce, but HK chachanteng menus are not know for excellence and Michelin-quality. Rather, speed, comfort, and convenience. Chachanteng cater to an audience that wants to be fed, and not bothered. The style of food is heavily weighed toward familiar uncomplicated stuff, washed down with strong milk tea, so that you can go out and climb the twenty story bamboo scaffolding again, pick up the kids from violin lessons, and play mahjong all night.

Or, in my case, read the newspaper and then go out to smoke my pipe.

Actually I rarely read real newspapers any more, the last one I bought at the newsracks near my house was the edition that carried the article about a conflagration at an oil refinery recently (煉油廠爆炸起火). The headline had suggested that a chili oil factory exploded, but it turned out what they meant was a disastrous pipeline rupture in an industrial park.
Which did not interest me nearly as much.


The ABC had been around for years, and they still are. They have other locations elsewhere, which it would take an expedition to get to because one does not live out in the avenues or suburbia.
My area is downtown, in the North Eastern part of the city.
Tongyanfau is the closest Chinese neighborhood.
Those other Chinatowns are not.
And they are far.
唔好方便。


Their Baked Portuguese Chicken Rice was very decent, likewise the Black Pepper Sauce Porkchop, Singapore Noodle, and Salt Fish Chicken Rice. And, though I had it rarely because of a tendency to gout, I also fondly remember the Baked Curry Seafood Rice, which is a purely Hong Kong dish that most people will not think of as even remotely Chinese.

咖喱海鮮芝士焗飯
['gaa lei hoi sin ji si guk faan']

Mild mixed creamy seafood curry on top of rice, liberally sprinkled with shredded cheese and baked under the broiler. Superior with hot sauce.


It's so easy to make you do not need an exact recipe. Per serving, enough cooked rice for one person. On top of which you place slightly precooked seafood, your choice. Shrimp, scallops, crab, cod fillets, surimi, oysters, mussels, etcetera. Add enough curry sauce to cover, sprinkle the cheese over, and shove in the oven for eight to ten minutes till bubbly.

The curry sauce is very English, and almost unrecognizable to a Punjabi. Small cubed carrots and potato, sauteed in butter till starting to gild. Add milk or cream to cover, and enough curry substance to colour but not overwhelm. Cook gently for a few minutes, then add chopped onion and maybe a pepper or two (which is non-standard). Simmer a bit longer.
Instead of carrots, celery and green bell pepper are also an option.
And I prefer browned potato chunks instead of small cubes.


Heavenly with a cup of milk tea at one of the back booths, when the place was crowded and filled with people snarfing down goodies. Even if some of them were Northerners who didn't understand any of this Southern muck, or tourists limiting themselves to everything sweet and sour over fried rice.


The number of chachanteng in this part of the city has diminished, and Chinatown is changing. It's shrinking, becoming more white, and more acceptable to whites.
Immigrants are going elsewhere, we have tech bros now.




AFTERWORD

Someone recently mentioned the Dragon Ball Bakery (龍珠餅店), Kowloon branch, on Shanghai Street in Yaumatei. That may have been pursuant my flip comment that in most of HK you are never far from a Seven Eleven. There is, in fact, one right next door from the bakery, and another around the corner on Portland Street. Plus one on Dundas Street, one on Reclamation Street, and on Hamilton, and Pitt.

See, that actually proves that Chinatown is nothing like Hong Kong. There are no Seven Elevens here. The nearest ones are in the Financial District, so that the suburbanites won't panic.

In Hong Kong, Seven Elevens are as familiar as submachine guns in Honduras. Hector would know.




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THE HONG KONG TUNA SANDWICH

Sometimes there is nothing special about an item, unless it flies at you.
The sportsman that flung the comestible was recently sentenced.
His throwing arm is still in excellent shape.
But his aim was off.

You do not go to Hong Kong for sandwiches. Especially not tuna salad sandwiches, even though they are part of a British tea there. And most especially you do not go to Wanchai for tuna salad sandwiches.
Even though very many people do.


吞拿魚三文治


The typical HK tuna sandwich ('tan-na-yü saam-man-ji') is composed of tuna salad on toasted white bread, with often either sliced tomato or crispy bacon. Sometimes a fried egg. It will not (or rarely) be as aero-dynamic as required, however, and won't hit C. Y. Leung right in the puss as you probably intended.

This is an important consideration.


The best tuna sandwiches in Wanchai are made with toasty baguettes, thick sliced tomato, and crisp lettuce. Ask for a rasher of bacon on top, which is yummy. Mr. Leung won't like it, though. To him, all such things are “臭魚三明治” ('chaau-yü saam-ming-ji'; "stinky fish sammich").

He probably also sneers at the 可颂芝士吞拿魚三文治 ('ho-jung ji-si tan-naa-yü saam-man-ji'; croissant and fromage tuna salad sandwich) or the 粟米吞拿魚三文治 ('suk-mai tan-naa-yü saam-man-ji'), which has corn kernels mixed in, or the 辣吞拿魚三文治 ('laat tan-naa-yü saam-man-ji') with spicy cayenne remoulade, 牛油果吞拿魚三文治 ('ngau-yau-gwo tan-naa-yü saam-man-ji'), made with avocado .....

[NOTES: 可頌 (Mandarin 'kěsòng'; "can laud") is one word for croissant, but 牛角包 'ngau gok baau' ("cow horn bread") is more common in HK. 芝士 "chee see" (cheese) is a phonetic transcription of Cantonese origin (芝 'ji'; "miracle mushroom". 士 'si'; "scholar, official"). 吞拿魚 'tan na yü' literally means "engulf take fish". 三文治 'saam man ji' "three literature regulate"; sandwich. 粟米 'suk mai' "unhusked millet ('suk') and uncooked rice" ('mai'); corn. 牛油果 'ngau yau gwo'; "cow grease (butter) fruit", avocado.
It is also called 鱷梨 ('ngok lei'), meaning "crocodile pear".]


Mr. Leung Chun-ying is not a fan of tuna.

Many other Hong Kongers are.

Stinky fish sammich.




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GLOOP AND FRIED DOUGH FOR LUNCH

Recently there was too much roast duck. "How can there possibly be too much roast duck", I hear you say, "How can that even be?" That's a good question. Especially if you know my penchant.
But trust me, there can indeed be.

She bought a whole duck.

She attended to my birthday happiness. Because she values birthdays (her own is coming up in two months), and I believe she rather likes living with a grumpy old troll who more than tolerates stuffed animals, most of whom act rambunctious, demand snacks of unknowable provenance, and will steal my wallet when I'm in the bathroom tending to my personal cleanity.
Often when I return freshly showered and shaved, I find a cluster of the little criminals tussling over my bills, or sometimes poncing around with one of my briars, saying "hubba hubba hubba lookit me I am the famous philosopher Bertrand Arthur William Russell!"
They never pretend to be Tolkien.
Tolkien was a dildo.

Hobbits, feh! The Ewoks of an Oxford linguist's brainfart.

Anyhow. Too much duck. And charsiu. Every day since Friday. Wherefore my constitution feels a bit stressed. Something simple and easy on the stomach may be required. Such as, for instance, rice porridge.

But where, and what kind?

鮑魚粥 ('baau yü juk'): abalone rice porridge.
鮑魚滑雞粥 ('baau yü kwat kai juk'): abalone and chicken rice porridge.
柴魚花生粥 ('chai-yü faa-sang juk'): dried fish and fried peanuts rice porridge.
猪肝粥 ('chyu gon juk'): pork liver rice porridge.
猪骨滚生粥 ('chyu gwat gwan saang juk'): pork bone poached rice porridge; a selection of fresh and dried mushrooms with ham cooked in a rice porridge made on a basis of pork broth.
豬紅粥 ('chyu hong juk'): rice porridge with cubes of gelled pig's blood.
豬肚肉片粥 ('chyu tou yiuk pin juk'): pork liver, tripe, and fresh pork slices rice porridge.
豬潤粥 ('chyu yeun juk'): pig gloss jook, an alternative name for rice porridge with pork liver.
豬什粥 ('chyu sap juk'): pig whatevers jook; miscellaneous pork oddments rice porridge.
帶子粥 ('daai-ji juk'): scallops porridge.
火鴨粥 ('fo ngaap juk'): rice porridge with roast duck.
滑雞粥 ( 'gwat kai juk'): chicken chunks rice porridge.
虾粥 ('haa juk'): fresh shrimp rice porridge.
香菇肉鬆粥 ('heung gu ngau song juk'): black mushrooms and pork floss rice porridge.
蠔豉瘦肉粥 ('ho si sau yiuk juk'): dried oysters and lean pork rice porridge.
海產粥 ('hoi chaan juk'): mixed seafoods rice porridge; shrimp, clams or mussels, and squid.
海参粥 ('hoi saam juk'): sea cucumber rice porridge.
海鮮粥 ('hoi sin juk'): mixed fresh seafood rice porridge.
雞球粥 ('kai kau juk'): chicken rice porridge.
羅漢粥 ('lo hon juk'): Arhat ("Luo Han") rice porridge; a luxurious vegetarian preparation made with carrots, bamboo shoots, dried mushrooms, wood ear, straw mushrooms, and white fungus.
牡蠣粥 ('maau lai juk'): fresh oysters rice porridge with pork and garlic.
銀耳粥 ('ngan yi juk'): white fungus rice porridge, mildly tonifying.
北菇雞球粥 ('pak gu kai kau juk'): black mushroom and chicken porridge.
皮蛋牛肉粥 ('pei dan ngau yiuk juk'):preserved egg and beef porridge.
皮蛋瘦肉粥 ('pei dan sau yiuk juk'): preserved egg and lean pork rice porridge.
三黄粥 ('saam wong juk'): three yellows porridge; soy bean, sweet potato, and millet gruel, served with a little golden sugar. It's healthy.
生滾蝦球粥 ('sang gwan ha kau juk'): jook with fresh shrimp cooked by the heat of the porridge.
生滾牛肉粥 ('sang gwan ngau yiuk juk'): rice porridge with sliced beef poached in the hot gloop.
生滾肉片粥 ('sang gwan yiuk pin juk'): jook with sliced pork cooked by the heat of the porridge.
蝦球帶子粥 ('sin haa daai-ji juk'): fresh shrimp and scallop porridge.
爽滑肉丸粥 ('song gwat yiuk yuen juk'): rice porridge with pork meat balls.
碎牛粥 ('sui ngau juk'): rice porridge with minced beef.
田雞粥 ('tin kai juk'): fresh frog rice porridge.
窩蛋免治牛粥 ('wo dan min ji ngau juk'): nested egg floating freely cow jook; minced beef and egg porridge.
魚片粥 ('yü pin juk'): fish curls rice porridge.
魚片豬紅粥 ('yü pin chyu hong juk'): sliced fish and pork blood porridge.
魚片皮蛋粥 ('yü pin pei dan juk'): preserved egg and sliced fish porridge.
魚片瘦肉粥 ('yü pin sau yiuk juk'): sliced fish and pork porridge.


Rice porridge ("jook" in Cantonese) is greatly good, and just the ticket. But because it is so simple, though requiring attentiveness and brilliance to do well, most places will have less than half a dozen choices, and sometimes it becomes the afterthought on an extensive menu.

I know every jookery in Chinatown.

It is a quandary.


One of the key things is the fried oil stick. If that is lacking or a failure, the experience is lessened. The fried oil stick is crucial.
There are limitations to Chinatown.

No, I seldom go to the Chinese restaurants in the avenues, be real! There are no honest Chinese folks there, they all speak Mandarin and cook for bollocky no-taste Midwesterners!


油條

There is one "restaurant" on Stockton Street which does a fried dough stick that is very nasty. The place is incredibly popular, because they are cheap. They also sell dim sum and various prepared dishes, the customers are total pillocks, and the service is haphazard, and sometimes downright irritating when they didn't understand my Cantonese.
I will probably not go there.

The little bistro on Waverly which had superior jook and truly lovely fried dough sticks (Utopia Cafe, 蔘滿意粥, near the intersection with Washington) no longer exists.

[蔘滿意粥: 'saam mun yi juk'. The restaurant there now is still called Utopia in English, but something else in Chinese (牛麵王 'ngau min wong': "beef noodle king"). 
I haven't tried them yet.]

One place where the women who work there know me and always treat me with home town consideration does not appeal today, because their dough stick is a bit leaden, and leaves me feeling bloated.
That isn't what I aim for this time.


I will probably end up at the cheap lunchcounter run by decent hardworking Toishanese. Though there are only three jook choices, their fried oil stick is good (as is their cheung fan), and it is a great place for people-watching.



Gotta leave the house soon.
Before it is all gone.
Pipe after.




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CLAYPOT RICE -- CRUSTY, SAVOURY, AND ECK ECK ECK!

Everyone says you should go to Kwan Kee for claypot rice, and maybe you should. But as they are so well-known (好出名！ 'hou chut meng'), you might not like them so much. It can get a bit busy there.
Claypot rice is something the locals love, and there are infinite versions of it. The idea is that the rice at the bottom is somewhat crisped, the meat at the top is steamed to perfection, and all the juices have mixed with the rice. You drizzle in a little soy sauce to loosen the crust (飯焦 'faan jiu'), and the steam adds more savouriness to both the rice and the meats.
And did I mention that Kwan Kee is well-known?
That contributes a bustling atmosphere.
Seriously, it's a good place.
Locals know food.
Eat.


坤記煲仔小菜
西環，西營盤，皇后大道西263號，和益大廈地下1號舖。
Kwan Kee Claypot Rice (and small dishes)
Shop 1, Wo Yick Mansion, 263 Queen's Road West, Sai Ying Pun, Western District


支竹牛腩煲 ('ji juk ngau naam pou chai faan'): beef brisket and dried bean curd stick claypot rice. Dried bean curd stick absorbs flavour very well, and adds a nice soft chewiness.
窩蛋牛肉煲仔飯 ('gwat daan ngau yiuk pou chai faan'): beef claypot rice with an egg added on top to cook in the heat. Which is a lovely combination! Chopped chives sprinkled over. Mmm.
臘味牛肉煲仔飯 ('laap mei ngau yiuk pou chai faan'): beef and preserved meats claypot rice. Succulent, delicious, simple.
白鱔排骨煲仔飯 ('baak sin paai gwat pou chai faan'): eel and spare ribs claypot rice.
白鱔臘腸煲仔飯 ('baak sin laap cheung pou chai faan'): eel and Chinese sausage claypot rice. Chinese sausage, in fact should always be added to claypot rice dishes, because it contributes delightfully.
白鱔滑雞煲仔飯 ('baak sin gwat kai pou chai faan'): eel and slippery chicken claypot rice.
田雞煲仔飯 ('tin kai pou chai faan'): frog claypot rice.
滑雞煲仔飯 ('gwat kai pou chai faan'): chicken claypot rice.
臘味田雞煲仔飯 ('siu mei tin kai pou chai faan'): preserved meats and frog claypot rice.
燒臘雞煲仔飯 ('siu laap gai pou chai faan'): Chinese sausage plus chicken claypot rice.


OTHER THINGS

椒鹽鮮魷 ('jiu-yim sin yau'): salt and pepper squid-fry. Nicely presented on a bed of lettuce, with chopped chilies and chives for colour. Tasty!
潮式蠔仔餅 ('chiu sik hou chai bing'): Chiu Chow style oyster omelette.
沙爹炒牛肉河 ('saa te chaau ngau yiuk ho'): Saté-sauce beef chow fun.
豉椒炒蜆 ('si jiu chaau hin'): black bean sauce stirfried clams.
蜆蚧鯪魚球 ('hin gai ling yü kau'): clam-flavour carp fish balls. The clam flavour is in the dipping sauce, made with preserved cockle (蜆蚧), which may be an acquired taste. But it's very good in congee!
生菜鯪魚球湯 ('saang choi ling yü kau tong'): lettuce and fresh-made fish balls in broth.

They also have various stews, soups, and sauteed vegetables, but you really go their for the standard claypot rice dishes, as well as the eel (白鱔 'baak sin'), frog (田雞 'tin kai'), and mud carp (鯪魚 'ling yü') combos.


Note: a friend tells me that the Persian or Armenian word for the crusty rice at the bottom of the pot is 'eck eck eck'. My knowledge of either of those languages in insufficient to question that, and he's probably right.

I love saying it. Eck eck eck!


AFTER WORD

And then there is Hong Kong style American junk food. Which is a culinary category that you already think you know, even though you eschew it. You go to the Danish Bakery in Causeway Bay for hamburgers, hotdogs, fish fillet sandwiches, and fried chicken. It is something you crave. "Bugger all refinement", you will say, "I want the yummy junkfood my third aunt living in the projects used to make", and you fondly remember the time the savage Indians circled your housing complex in Chicago. Or something similarly American. You still have a row of dried scalps back at the ranch.
As well as Donald Trump's I.Q. test results.
Which are bigly, and yuge.


丹麥餅店
銅鑼灣，禮頓道106號，禮信大廈地下。
Danish Bakery
Ground floor, Leishun Court, 106 Leighton Road, Causeway Bay

魚柳包 ('yü lau baau'): fried fish sandwich. Most often it is made with a weird MacDonaldish square of reconstituted sea food saw dust, but this version is an actual chunk of fresh fish, battered and deep fried.
熱狗 ('yit gau'): hot dog.
豬扒包 ('chyu baa baau'): pork chop bun.
炸雞脾 ('jaa gai pei'): fried chicken.
芝士漢堡包 ('ji si hon bou baau'): cheese burger. Spiced meat, a little ketchup and mayo, cheese.
豬排包 ('chyu paai baau'): shortribs sandwich.

孖腸芝士熱狗 ('maa cheung ji si yit gau'): TWO deep-fried dogs on a toasted bun with cheese! Tell them to add more! 厚厚的芝士！


Unless you are a shopaholic, there is honestly no other reason to head to Causeway Bay (銅鑼灣). But it is close to East Point (東角 'tung gok'), Canal Road (鵝頸澗 'ngo keng gaan'), and Wanchai (灣仔).




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HONG KONG RESTAURANTS

Someone asked about eating in the Special Administrative Region.
I had a few suggestions to offer.

In no particular order:

車仔麵之家
灣仔, 晏頓街1號 , A店。
CHE CHAI MIN JI KAA
Anton Street 1, shop A, Wanchai
Telephone: 2529 6313
Facsimile: 2520 1305
["Little cart noodles."]

新興食家
西環, 堅尼地城, 士美菲路, 8號, 地下, C號舖。
SUN HING RESTAURANT ('SAN-HING SIK-GAA')
Shop C, Ground floor, 8 Smithfield Road, Kennedy Town.
[Runny custard buns, siu mai, hargau.]

永興豆漿王
觀塘, 裕民坊40A號, 地下。
WING HING SOY MILK SHOP
Kwuntong, Yueman Square No. 40, Ground Floor.
[Fresh beancurd with syrup.]

金華冰廳
香港, 太子弼街47號, 地下。
KAM WAH BAKERY CAFE
47 Bute Street, ground floor,
Prince Edward (Mongkok), Kowloon, Hong Kong.
[Baked goods, toasted buns (both "pineapple" buns AND little piggy buns!).]

妹記生滾粥品
旺角, 花園街市政大廈4樓熟食中心11-12舖。
MUI KEE CONGEE
["Younger Sister's Freshly Boiled Congee Products"]
Shop no. 11-12, Fa Yuen Street Market, Municipal Services Building, Fourth Floor, Cooked Foods Centre
Mongkok, Kowloon, Hong Kong.
[Crispy fish skin rice porridge.]

彩龍酒樓
荃灣, 荃錦公路, 川龍村, 2號。
CHOI LUNG RESTAURANT
[In Tsuen Wan, along a hillside road overlooking everything. A bosky dimsum place.]

蓮香樓
中環, 威靈頓街160-164號。
LIN HEUNG TEA HOUSE
160-164 Wellington Street,
Central District.
[A raucous and totally excellent dim sum restaurant.]

勝香園
中環, 美輪街2號。
SING HEUNG YUEN
2 Mei Lun Street, Central District.
[Cheap, a neighborhood eatery, wonderful tomato soup. Expect outdoor seating, it's barely one step removed from being a street stall.]

肥姐小食店
香港, 九龍, 旺角, 登打士街 55號, 4A舖。
FAT SISTER SMALL EATS SHOP
Unit 4A, 55 Dundas Street, Mong Kok.
Kowloon, Hong Kong.
[Marinated offal on a stick. Add a squeeze of yellow mustard.]

鏞記酒家
中環, 威靈頓街 32-40 號。
YUNG KEE JAU KA
32-40 Wellington Street, Central
Hong Kong Island
[Famous, and famously expensive, roast goose.]

裕記大飯店
新界, 深井, 深康路 9號。
YUE KEE TAAI FAN DIEM
9 Sham Hong Road, Sham Tseng
New Territories, Hong Kong.
[Extremely good roast goose. Very affordable.]

深井陳記燒鵝酒家
新界, 深井, 青山公路, 深井村 63號, 地下。
SHAM TSENG CHAN KEE SIU NGOH JAU KA
Ground floor, 63 Sham Tseng Village, Castle Peak Road, Sham Tseng
New Territories, Hong Kong.
[Also extremely good roast goose. And likewise very affordable.]

沾仔記
中環, 威靈頓街 98號, 地下。
TSIM CHAI KEE NOODLE
Shop B, G/F Jade Centre, 98 Wellington Street, Central
[Beef brisket house special wonton noodles.]

群記清湯腩
大埔, 大明里 26號。
KWON KEE TSING TONG NAAM
No. 26 Dai Ming Lane, Taipo.
Tel: 2638 3071
In Taipo, centre of town, between Tai Gwong Lane (大光里) and Kwong Fuk Lane (廣福里).
[Beef brisket stock, soup noodles.]

大榮華酒樓
元朗, 安寧路2-6號, 2樓。
TAAI WING WAA RESTAURANT
2/F, Koon Wong Mansion, 2-6 On Ning Road, Yuen Long.
[Dim sum, poon choi (盤菜 or 盆菜), and old wife cakes from the bakery (老婆餅 'lo poh beng'). This time of year, famous mooncakes (月餅)]

唯珍上海麵家
佐敦, 白加士街125號, 地下。
WAI-TSAN SEUNGHOI MIEN KAA
125 Parkes Street, Ground Floor, Jordan, Kowloon.
Telephone: 2770 4763
[Pan-fried pork cutlets - either with noodles or rice, or on top of soup - and most especially the garlic chives pork dumplings.]


And most heartily recommended:

上海榮華川菜館
觀塘, 崇仁街 15號, 地下。
SEUNG HOI WING WAH CHUEN TSOI KOON
The Shanghai Wing Wah Szechuan Restaurant
Ground Floor, 15 Shung Yan Street, Kwun Tong.

Recommended dishes at Wing Wah:

豆沙窩餅 Fried Sweet Bean-paste Fold-overs. Very Shanghainese!
東坡肉 Tung-Po Pork (slow cooked long and fragrant, served over tender fresh baby bokchoi).
回鍋肉 Twice-cooked Pork - a superior version.
砂鍋雲吞雞 Clay Pot Wonton Chicken.
擔擔麵 Tan Tan Noodles. Superior, but something I'm particularly fond of.
酸辣湯 Hot and Sour Soup - extremely popular here.
紅燒獅子頭 Savoury Braised Large Meat Balls.
乾扁四季豆 Spicy Dry-fried Stringbeans.
八寶茶 Eight Treasure Tea (hot) - very popular.
糖醋魚柳 Sweet and Sour Willow-fish.
糖醋排骨 Sweet and Sour Spare Ribs.
紅油抄手 Red Oil Dumplings - a famous Szechuanese variation on wonton.
口水雞 Poached & Sauced Chicken.
花雕醉雞 Drunken Chicken (made with Fa Diu ricewine) - very highly recommended.
蒜泥白肉 Garlic Sauce Poached Pork (cold) - very old-fashioned and delicious.
奶油津白 Tientsin Cabbage in Cream Sauce garnished with Chinhua Ham - old school, excellent.
糖醋魚塊 Sweet and Sour Fish Chunks.
麻婆豆腐 Ma Po Toufu - an old stand-by.
雞絲粉皮 Chicken Shred Pale Ribbon Noodle.
宮保雞丁 Kung Pao Chicken - a safe standard.



ADDENDUM

What could be more Hong Kong than eating shrimp wonton noodle soup?
Especially in the world's highest commercial rent zone.
Simple, earthy, soul-satisfying.
Comfort food.

池記
銅鑼灣, 波斯富街84號, 地下。
CHEE KEI
84 Percival Street, Causeway Bay, Wanchai District.
[Beef noodle soup, "Swiss" wings, and the freshest thinnest skin shrimp wonton anywhere, with noodle soup (牛腩撈麵，瑞士雞翼，鮮蝦雲吞麵)。
Plus congee (粥). Plus other stuff -- oyster sauce stalky mustard (灼芥蘭), red oil three precious, suei gaau ... ]




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PAUSE FOR SOME PLACE TASTY -- 車仔麵之家

Anton Street, south of HK police headquarters, is a narrow passage with only a few business located there, barely wide enough for vehicular traffic plus parking. But you can get modern coffee, and a bowl of noodles.
Two different small shops, no seating; eat or drink standing up.
There's a Chinese laundry in between.
Also minor frontage.


NOODLES

They are in Wanchai, north side of Hong Kong Island, centrally located.
One imagines that a fellow pipe smoker who works at a bank not far from there might occasionally drop by for a snack, but in all likelihood he isn't familiar with either establishment.

He is probably extremely familiar with the area, though.
It's a bustling and fashionable part of Hong Kong.
Very near everything important.


車仔麵之家
灣仔晏頓街1號 A店
Telephone: 2529 6313
Facsimile: 2520 1305

The English name might read "car child noodle's family", or some such. In which 'car child'(車仔 'che chai') means a little cart such as previously used for a portable food stall. Little cart noodles (車仔麵 'che chai min') are an infinitely variable meal, as specified by the customer, featuring just two constants: noodles, and broth. What is added is up to you entirely.


Many customers choose things such as fish balls, fried pork skin, offal, and a vegetable. There is a list of what-have-yous in English on the wall, you will be pleased to know, but you should understand that the item transcribed as "pig pudding" means gelled hog blood. In case you like such things.
It's kind of similar to dinuguan.

ADDRESS: Anton Street 1, shop A. The nearest cross street is Queen's Road, there is a Seven Eleven facing the alley, and a Marks & Spencer food shop on the corner. There's always a Seven Eleven somewhere nearby, anywhere in Hong Kong, but 'Marks & Spencer' is an anomaly. The staff of both places probably eat at the noodle shop in any case.

Anton Street extends to Hennesey at the other end, where Johnston Road splits off. There's probably another Seven Eleven near there.

You should want chicken wings, curry fish ball, and seasonal vegetables with your noodles, trust me on this. 雞翅、咖哩魚蛋、時菜。
Choose 粉麵, which are softish medium rice stick.
You can add squid and turnip too.
魷魚、蘿蔔。

Pronunciation: 雞翅 ('gai yik')，咖哩魚蛋 ('gaa lei yü daan')，時菜 ('si choi')，粉麵 ('fan min')，魷魚 ('yau yü')，蘿蔔 ('lo baak').


Open Monday through Saturday from seven in the morning to six at night. Closed Sundays. A meal will cost you slightly over a dollar (U.S.), which is both the market rate for this kind of food and extremely affordable.


Sweet and sour fried gluten, fried tofu cubes, simmered black mushrooms, peculiar bits of pig including cleaned intestinal fortitudes .....
No Spam (午餐肉) as far as I can tell.
Which is rather a pity.




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THE CHINESE FOOD YOUR MOTHER WARNED YOU ABOUT!

Many of us grew up with severe parental warnings about Chinese food. It lacked subtlety (sweet and sour pork), there was no nutritional value in it (chow mein American restaurant style), it made you sick (if you ate too much, yes, but that was not the fault of the food), and on the whole it just wasn't a good solid meal. By "a good solid meal" was meant something that stayed with you for hours, rather than leaving you hungry after you ate it. And by that standard, muck from MacDonalds is "a good solid meal", because it's damned well indigestible, and will indeed stay with you.

A burger from most fast-food places is lousy company.
No wonder Americans drink like Scotsmen!

Whisky alleviates digestive angst.


Americans, for the longest time, cooked like Brits.

I can still vividly remember my last visit to England, which was culinarily horrendous. My ex-girlfriend insisted that we try the traditional English breakfast, and while she suffered no ill-effects, suffice to say it left me pondering the meaning of life for three ghastly days.

She's Cantonese, and has the digestion of a horse.
I'm a Dutchman, and consequently more delicate.


Hong Kong food, however, can keep both sides happy. Much of it is impossibly hearty and satisfying, and much of it is as delicate as a refined snooty person might desire.

Being a Dutchman, I cannot claim an excess of refinement. But a good meal that leaves me happy as a clam is something worthy of praise.

Baked porkchop over rice with tomato!


鮮茄焗豬扒飯
['sin ke guk chü paa faan']

2 - 3 cups freshly prepared egg-fried rice.
2 pork chops.
1 TBS sherry or rice wine.
1 TBS soy sauce.
1/2 tsp sugar.
2 TBS flour.
1/2 Tsp. finely ground white pepper.
2 cloves garlic, minced.
1 small onion, sliced.
5 ripe tomatoes, coarsely chunked.
2 TBS ketchup.
Dash of Worcestershire.
Quarter cup or more shredded mild cheese.


Marinate the pork chops with sherry, soy sauce, and sugar for an hour. Combine the flour and the ground white pepper and dust the pork chops with this, shaking off the excess. Fry the pork chops over medium heat on each side till browned. Remove the chops from pan.

Fry the garlic and onions till gilded and fragrant in the greasy pan. Lower the heat, add the tomatoes, ketchup and the dash of Worcestershire, and cook till the tomatoes are soft and the sauce is thick.

Now spread the egg-fried rice in a casserole or baking dish. Put the pork chops over the fried rice, glop the tomato and onion sauce evenly over the chops and rice and sprinkle the cheese on top. Stick it in an oven preheated to 425 - 450 degrees Fahrenheit (approximately 220 - 230 degrees Celsius), or under the broiler, and bake till the cheese is bubbly.



Baked tomato porkchop over rice is a tea-restaurant (茶餐廳 'chaa chanteng') classic, which often makes or breaks the reputation of the enterprise. Variables that must be mastered are how much to fry the chops depending on their thickness, how much sauce is required and how thick, the moistness and oil content of the egg-fried rice, and what type of cheese plus how much of it you really need. Ideally the chops should be tender and juicy, the rice underneath hot and comforting, and the tomato flavour more dominant than the cheese.

Naturally you wash it down with hot milk-tea (港式奶茶). Plus a cup of regular Oolong (烏龍) or Sui Hsin (水仙), or whatever semi-fermented tea you normally have with meals.


Most people do not do this at home, but prefer to go get it on the spur of the moment at a neighborhood place, so that they can people-watch while eating. Hong Kong style tea-restaurants are, when busy, the perfect place to do that.

Just like the Baked Portuguese Chicken Rice I mentioned last week, this is sustenance for the single diner, though it can easily be shared. Imagine, for instance, that you went to your bank to pick up cash for the weekend, then to Walgreens to add forty dollars to your transit card, and then decided "ah what the heck I don't feel like cooking this evening, perhaps I should get a bite to eat, then have a smoke while wandering around the old neighborhood".

Which was an excellent idea!

The poor waitress was somewhat disconcerted by the kwailo (鬼佬) speaking Cantonese. Instead of gongsik naaicha (港式奶茶), she brought me gwan seui (滾水). Which didn't sound like what I asked for at all.
No matter how horrendous my pronunciation.
I politely corrected her on that score.


好食啊。



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ARROZ DE FORNO COM FRANGO, ESTILO DE MACAU: 焗葡國雞飯

The place seemed quite full, but that was only because several tables near the front were occupied. Once inside, it was apparent that there was enough room. But it was never-the-less busy, and many people were happily enjoying scrumptious food. Surreptitious couples, small family groups, a table full of middle-aged ladies, and one or two large multi-generational family gatherings.

While many people were eating clay pot dishes or yummy noodles, over in the corner a kwailo was snarfing down Baked Portuguese Chicken Rice.
Which is delicious with hot sauce.


葡國汁

Baked Portuguese Chicken Rice (焗葡國雞飯 'guk pou gwok gai faan') is superlative cold-weather food. Hearty, warming, stick-to-yer-ribs goodness. And it is neither Portuguese, nor, despite the characters, Chinese. It's a little of both, and very Hong Kong. A version of chicken rice, with potato, onion, and bell pepper, and a coconut curry sauce on top, shoved into the oven until piping hot.

There is no need for me to provide a recipe, because if the preparation is not instinctive for you, you can find a very good recipe (minus the bell pepper, but including chorizo) simply by typing "Baked Portuguese Chicken Rice" into your search bar. The first thing that should come up is this: "baked portuguese chicken rice (po gok gai fan)", posted on October 26, 2014, by Diana Chan.

Man kann auch ein ausgezeichnetes Rezept finden, durch Fräulein Gracie Hui zu besuchen: Gebacken Portugiesische Huhn mit Reis.

A recipe for just Portuguese Chicken is here: 葡國雞. It is easy and straightforward, like many dishes on the Lee Kum Kee website.


Portuguese Sauce, in the food vocabulary of Hong Kong and Macau, is a simple coconut curry sauce either made at home using coconut milk, chicken stock, turmeric, cumin, and other spices, or available in bottles from Lee Kum Kee and other manufacturers. The inspiration comes more from a South East Asian yellow curry than anything else.
I make my own, using Thai yellow curry paste.

Just as Cantonese food is perfect for Christmas, this odd concoction called Baked Portuguese Chicken Rice is ideal for a quick lunch in the subtropics or tea time eating in the frozen tundras. San Francisco resembles the latter at present, as it is miserable and buggery cold.

The odd concoction hits the spot.

I dawdled over my beverage.

A cup of yuen yeung.

Also very good.




AFTER THOUGHT

My ex would probably like it, and maybe I'll mention it to her. But she'll have to discover it on her own, as our culinary histories have diverged.




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EAT WELL AND SMELL GOOD

Please note: the following is not only a suggestion for an early morning jaunt along the lower level on Hong Kong Island, it is also an illustration (between parentheses) of the Chinese language's difficulty making any sense at all of English-language toponyms.

As well as our problems when we try to translate Chinese.


西遊記 JOURNEY TO THE WEST
['sai yau gei']

It's a two hour stroll at least from the Admiralty in Central to Belcher Street in Kennedy Town (堅彌地城 'gin nei dei seng'; "resolute fulfilled earth town"). But you can also take the double decker tram. Far less time. Never the less walk at least part of the way, as otherwise you will miss some rather interesting stuff.

Kennedy Town (堅彌地城) is part of the western district (西環 'sai waan':"west ring"), which also includes Sai Ying Pun (西營盤 "western military basin"), Shek Tong Tsui (石塘嘴 "stone pond beak"), and Belcher Bay (卑路乍灣 'pei lou jaa waan'; "vulgar road previously bay").


A long time ago Shek Tong Tsui was filled with restaurants, music halls, and bordellos (花樓 'faa lou'), of which alas (or perhaps 'fortunately') very little remains. The 1987 film Rouge (胭脂扣 'yin ji kou') with Anita Mui (梅艷芳 'mui yim fong') and Leslie Cheung (張國榮 'cheung gwok wing') was set there.
Like that era, these two stellar movie actors are now also part of the fabled past; both of them left this world in 2003.
That wasn't a good year.

Belcher's Street (卑路乍街 'bei lou ja kaai') is one of the main streets in Kennedy Town. The Kwong Sang Tea Company (established in 1936) used to be at number 24.

[廣生茶行有限公司；香港，堅尼地城，卑路乍街24號。
Current address: 香港西環卑路乍街38號天成工業大厦5/F。
Tea packers and exporters, 成立于1936.]


參茸藥區 HERBAL PRODUCTS DISTRICT
['sam yung yuek keui']

From the Admiralty (金鐘 'kam jung'; "gold bell") take Chater road (遮打道 'je daa dou'; "protect hit r.") to Central (中環 'jung waan'), where it becomes Des Voeux Road (德輔道 'dak fu dou'; "virtue assist r."). Follow Des Voeux to Wing Lok Street (永樂街 'wing lok kaai'; "forever glad s."), which splits off at Wing Wo Street (永和街 'wing wo kaai', "perpetual harmony s." where there are a large number of places selling swallows nest (燕窩 'yin wo'). At the intersection of Morrison Street (摩利臣街 'mo lei san kaai': "rub profitable minister s.") turn left, less than twenty yards to Bonham Strand (文咸街 'man haam kaai'; "literature alltogether s."), take Bonham Strand around the corner left to where Wing Lok continues. At the end of Wing Lok, around the curve of Des Voeux West (德輔道西) at Queen Street, there are hoi mei stores (海味 "sea flavour"; dried ocean products), sharkfin (魚翅 'yü chi') shops, and raw rice (米 'mai') dealers.
Continue along Des Voeux.

There's an incense company of antique provenance on the right hand side, surrounded by herbalists and dried seafood shops. They're a century-old brand (百年老字號 'baak nin lou ji hou'; "hundred year old word mark").

梁永馨香廠 (香港) 有限公司
"Leung's Eternal Fragrance (HK) Co.,Ltd."
['leung wing hing heung chong (heung kong) yau haan gung si']

梁永馨名香
Leung Wing Hing Joss Sticks
101 Des Voeux Road West, ground floor.
香港，德輔道西，101號，地下。

Informational interstice: The complex character 馨 is seldom used in modern speech. Originally it represented a dialect variation on 香 meaning what the nose took note of, later its connotations expanded to include the faintest trace of perfume, a lingering smell that prompts memories, aroma-echoes that make one recollect, and similar shades of meaning. It's a twenty stroke character found in the dictionary under 香 with a score of other characters under that radical. But twenty strokes means that it is harder to write correctly in the same size as your other words, and like many such logoglyphs, merely the great chance of leaving an illegible blob in the column made it fade from use. A pity, because it's very elegant .
Two other words with fragrant meanings are 芬 ('fan'; "fragrance, aromatic substance") and 芳 ('fong'; "fragrant, virtuous, lovely"). Both terms might have applied to the lovely plumes or fresh green boughs offered in the altar vessel which forms the bottom of 豐 ('fung'; "abundant, lush, fertile"), which at nineteen strokes remarkably shows up far more often than 馨。
Perhaps it's just more useful.

熏香品類 INCENSE TYPES:
['fan heung pan leui']
西澳洲檀香 ('sai ou jau taan heung'): West Australia sandal wood
百福塔香正宗柏香2H座 ('baak fuk taap heung jeng-jung baak heung leung-go jungtau jo'): Hundred Lucky Pagoda authentic cypress/cedar two hour coils.
天然老山檀香 ('tin yin lou saan taan heung'): Heavenly ('natural') Old Mountain sandalwood incense.
天然特級老山檀香 ('tin yin tak kap lou saan taan heung'): Heavenly Superior Quality sandalwood incense.
沉香 ('cham heung'): Agar wood incense.
Et autres.

Phone numbers: (852) 2548 2340 / (852) 2547 9277
Fax. :(852) 2559 5634
Internet: www.yp.com.hk/leungwinghing and www.leungwinghing.com.hk
Email: info@leungwinghing.com.hk

You can also get there by double-decker tram. If you don't want to walk a lot on a warm day.


The road bends at Wing Wah Mansion apartment building (永華大廈 'wing waa taai haa'; "eternal China big edifice"). When it goes around the corner further on, follow it to Queens Road West (皇后大道西 'wong hau daai dou sai'), up about thirty yards, turn right onto Belcher Street.
This is a heavily populated neighborhood, and you shouldn't expect too many English signs, despite the overwhelming surfeit of international brandnames and Seven Elevens.


冇乜特別，香脆，味都幾好。
NOTHING SPECIAL, FRAGRANT AND CRISPY, TASTES PRETTY GOOD
['mou ye dak bit, heung cheui, mei dou gei ho']

Convenience stores, small shops, and places where you can eat congee (粥 'juk') or roast duck rice (燒鴨飯 'siu ngaap faan'). Fishballs and dumplings too. The Fresh Fragrance Tea Restaurant (鮮香茶餐廳 'sin heung chaa chanteng') and Fish Ball King & Genuine Teochow Rice-sticks (港仔君豪魚蛋王 -- 正宗潮州粉面 'gong jai gwan hou yü daan wong jeng jung chiu jau fan min'), Kuen Gei Wonton Noodle (權記雲吞麵 "authority notation cloud gulp noodle")

You could also have the stirfried augmented kangkong (炒通菜 'chaau tung choi') and the mixed balls clay pot (什丸煲 'sap yuen pou'), with a nice glass of hot lemon tea (熱檸茶 'yit ning chaa').
Breakfast of champions.
Not expensive.


牛脷酥, 炸兩 ('ngau lei sou'. 'jaa leung') space alien cheap snack: "Cow tongue flaky", an oval semi-sweet fried puff bread (good with congee) and "fry two" (a fried dough stick steamed in a rice noodle sheet, drizzled with soy sauce, hoisin jeung, chive or scallion garnished, cut into chunks you can eat with a toothpick. Sometimes jaa leung is also served with a squirt of ketchup and yellow mustard, which is also good.


茶餐廳 ('chaa chan teng') tea-restaurants: Old-fashioned HK western style breakfast lunch and late afternoon foods. Fried eggs, noodle dishes, chicken soup macaroni with ham. Convenient easy food. Sate beef noodles (沙爹牛肉麵 'saa de ngau yiuk min'). Famous milk-tea (奶茶 'naai chaa') and kai mei bao (雞尾包"chicken arse bun").
Places filled with old geezers.


潮州菜 ('chiu jau choi') Chaozhou food: There are only two real reasons to seek out a Chaozhou style eatery: roast goose, and shellfish. The roast goose is brined before cooking, the shellfish (clams and oysters) are generously apportioned, nicely cooked.
Especially try oyster omelette.

潮州名食 CHAOZHOU'S FAMOUS FOODS:
['chiu jau ming sik']
脆皮糯米釀大腸 ('cheui pei no mai yeung daai cheung'): Crispy skinned glutinous rice ferments pork sausage. Fried a golden brown, then sliced across for chopstickable ease.
蟹粥 ('haai juk'): Crab congee (whole grains, unlike Cantonese style).
墨魚卷 ('mak yü kuen'): Cuttle fish nuggets.
墨魚片 ('mak yu pin'): Cuttle fish slices.
滷水鵝片 ('lou seui ngo pin'): Brine-cured (savoury sauced) goose slices.
豉椒炒蜆 ('si jiu chaau hin'): Bellpepper and black bean clams.
避風塘炒蜆 ('bei fung tong chaau hin'): Typhoon shelter stirfry clams with crispy-fried garlic and chilies.
鵝肝 ('ngo gon'): Goose liver.
香酥芋鴨 ('heung sou wu ngaap'): Taro batter crispy duck.
韭菜炒鹹肉 ('gau choi chaau haam yiuk'): Chives stirfried with Chinese bacon.
胡椒豬肚湯 ('wu jiu chyu tou tong'): Pepper pork stomach soup. Everyone raves about this; I don't.
闊面蠔餅, 炸蠔仔餅 ('fut min hou bing', 'jaa hou-chai bing'): The oyster omelette. Chiu chow style is thicker and denser than Hokkien, more like an egg-batter fritata.
糖醋麵 ('tong chou min'): Sweet and sour ("sugar - vinegar") noodles, panfried to a crispy cake.
魚湯浸豆苗 ('yü tong jam dau miu'): Fish-broth poached pea shoots.



Now that Hong Kong is so densely populated, sandalwood is no longer shipped out from the jetty over in Tsimshatsui, and the raw material for incense is imported from places like Vietnam, Cambodia, Malaysia, Indonesia, and Australia. But 'fragrance' (incense) gave the place its name, and it still seems a very apt appellation.
Food. Tea. Commerce.
Warm.



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TEA IN TSUEN WAN

They're open from very early morning till mid-afternoon. Coca cola and other soft-drinks may be had, and there are small stores nearby where other necessities of the American life may be bought. And, given the impossibility of parking in most other places, you'll be glad to know that there is almost no traffic here. On the other hand, you will definitely have to drive. It's in the middle of nowhere, though elsewhere is visible.

Best get there early. No, don't eat breakfast before you set off. But do have coffee; the road is winding, and you will need to be alert.

You're on a hillside in Tsuen Wan.

It's still dark.


淺灣、賊灣、荃灣。
CHIN WAAN, CHAAK WAAN, CHUEN WAAN.
[Shallows bay, Robber bay, Fragrance bay.]

Along the shore there used to be small settlements, and, during the early years of the colony, pirates hid out along the coast. It was all behind the back of beyond then, and not a desirable place. Far from everything. The area is all built-up now, as is Tsing Yi Island (青衣島 Green Robe Island; 'cheng yi dou') across the strait, where "spring flowers fall" (春花落 'chuen faa lok'). Like all of Hong Kong, both Tsuen Wan and Tsing Yi are densely populated and very busy places. Which is why a tea house, on a two lane road in the hills above the city that wriggles and twists, sounds like the perfect place to be when it isn't raining. It would also be ideal during a heavy storm, but transit is more daunting.
Especially before breakfast.



彩龍酒樓 
CHOI LUNG RESTAURANT
荃灣，荃錦公路，川龍村，2號。

Located on the fragrant brocade highway in creek dragon village. Their shrimp bonnets (蝦餃 'haa gau') are delicious, so are the spring rolls (春捲 'chuen kuen'), barbecue pork sheet noodles (叉燒腸粉 'chaa siu cheung fan'), quail egg dumplings (鵪鶉蛋燒賣 'am-suen daan siu-maai') which have a beautiful thin skin that crinkles around the filling, phoenix claws (鳳爪 'fung jaau'), deep-fried pork and veggie puff balls (鹹水角 'haam suei gok') and glutinous rice chicken (糯米雞 'no mai gai') which naturally comes steamed in a lotus leaf.

Something which almost every table will also get it is choisum (菜心) with black bean sauce, or briefly stir-fried watercress (西洋菜 'sai yeung choi'). Very good! Hou sik!

They also do fresh soy milk (凍豆漿 'tung dou jeung'), which is not something that particularly tickles my fancy. Frankly, I've always been leery of people who drink it.


On a sunny day you can see forever (well, with topographic limitations) from the upper storey. Green green hills, the hue of vert emeraude.
Grey-blue ridges further away, green robe island far off.

It's an old-fashioned tea house (古式嘅茶居 'gu sik ge chaa keui') by local standards, and consequently well worth it. If you've done your job properly, there will be spattered cups and bowls and saucers and plates and pots littering the table by the time you're finished, you'll be grabbing for a toothpick and belching happily, and wired to the gills on tea.

Go on; have just a little more.
There's always room for tofu pudding (豆腐花 'dou fu faa')...
They make it here with fresh mountain spring water (山水 'saan seui').


AND JOHN FROM KANSAS!

Please note that fastidious western tourists may find it chaotic, and too rambunctiously bustling to be really enjoyable, aside from being revolted at the fried stinky beancurd (釀豆腐卜 'yong dou fu pok'), which is utterly delicious! So this is NOT a good place to bring John from the Kansas office, even though the food is good. He'll look around and realize that either he's not the centre of attention (soul-crushing for the average buffalo in any exotic environment), or he is (discomfiting, especially when he's dropped his chopsticks for the tenth time).

And no one supports his football team!

There are chop houses in Tsimsatsui where he'd be more comfortable.
Take him there instead. Give him some beer and apple pie.
When he goes home, come here to celebrate.

It's home-town rustic, our kind of place.
Simple. But good.

You know, sports, particularly American football, bore me to the point of sickness. Whenever people start talking about such things I lapse into a coma, and desperately change the subject. Which, faced with tons of scrumptious things to eat, is remarkably hard to do.
"Oh please, we must have more flaky-crisp taro dumplings (芋角 'wu gok'), they're absolutely divine! Here, chew on a vegetable!"
Whispered: 'don't pour him anymore tea'!
For the love of g-d, shut him up.


ODD TOPONYMS

To get there, take Route Twisk (荃錦公路 'chuen gam gong lou') from the New Territories Circular Road (新界環迴公路 'saan kai waan wui gong lou') at elephant's trunk road (象鼻山路 'jung bei saan lou') in Tsuen Wan, heading towards "big hat mountain country park" (大帽山郊野公園 'daai mou saan gau ye gong yuen').
Take the right fork at Fu Yung Shan Road (芙蓉山路).
It's a bit of a drive (three and a half miles uphill), but extremely scenic.
During the day the public light bus (green top) is an also-can.
The road is twisty-wisty, the embankments steep.
Tall feathery trees, banana leaves, ferns.
Stands of bamboo, phoenix trees.
Banyan and ban-hoi maple.
黃槿 ('wong gan').
Acacia.




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LITTLE CART NOODLES -- 車仔麵 CHE JAI MIN

One of the frequent inclusions in a bowl of late night goodness is cubed gelled pig blood, along with fried pork skin. Obviously that ain't gonna work for most of us pale-complected folk. Sure, if we were British, we'd happily eat it -- the English consume such things as black pudding and fried sliced haggis, along with Spam and baked beans in a can, so they're genuinely out there with their own cuisine -- but the overwhelming majority of Wasps worldwide are North Americans. The strangest parts of the pig that we are accustomed to are Vienna Sausage and fake tofu.
Plus surgical sutures, and Spam.

Cart noodles -- chejai min (車仔麵) in Cantonese -- originated in fly-by-night food stands in Hong Kong, and as the authorities over the years strove to raise hygiene standards while simultaneously finding a way to get illicit food-entrepreneurs onto the official tax roles and off the streets, the quality improved and the variety expanded. The common nickname for their offerings had been 垃圾麵 ('laap-saap min'; garbage noodle), which in the tortuous accents of mainlanders from who-knows where beyond 羅湖 ('lo-wu'; the most traversed border crossing between HK and 'that other place') became 嗱喳麵 ('naa-chaa min'), which doesn't signify anything but is a baby-talkish phoneticisation.
Now it's simply cart noodle.
It's also soul-food.
Classic.

In the fifties and sixties, even as late as the seventies, the food scene in Hong Kong at the lower economic levels often involved small carts, and hardworking gentlemen ready to run like the dickens if the cops showed up to shut them down. Their regular customers knew them, and would warn them if a raid was likely. "Gotta go, return the bowl next time!"
The authorities frowned on free-lance road-side cooking.
Despite having their own favourites locally.
When off work, and at home.

Some of the people who went into the cart-noodle business had doubtful antecedents, and were surprisingly deft with the cleaver. You might not want to know how that came about. Salt of the earth types, trying to make an honest living.


Rice noodles, the fundament of the dish, are easy to prepare; just a hot-water bath for a minute or two and they're tender. Fried weird stuff keeps for a few hours, and strange cullings from the slaughterhouse are always cheap. The people who lived in the jam-packed housing estates and worked in the factories weren't looking for high-cuisine, they just wanted sustenance. But, being Chinese, and more particularly Cantonese (ie.: "zest-obsessed"), they demanded something with oomph. Good oomph. Lay on the flavour!
By no means necessarily nutritious.
Something with texture and taste.
Often lacking in English cuisine.
See aforementioned beans.

Noodles. Broth. Protein. Toothsomeness.

The kind of thing which you eat while pensively reading the newspaper, or quickly prepare before your favourite fifty part soap-opera with all the weeping women starts.

[Favourite fifty part, weeping women: Chinese soap-operas can be divided into three types: Hong Kong made productions, in which five generations struggle, get married, commit grand larceny, have affairs, and generally carry on with vigour and rambunction. 
Taiwanese series: a slice of emotionally unstable life in contemporary times, involving money, cheating spouses (male), mahjong, and strange clothing or make-up. Mainland stories: period costume, vast armies, historical characters or plots, and epic scenery chewing. All three types incorporate righteousness (whether demonstrated or lamentably missing), family drama (that's where the weeping comes in), and food. Weeping and food can be said to be the constants of good entertainment. Everyone likes to see dinner and emotional wreckage.]

You might take a coworker with kissable soft cheeks and dreamy eyes out for a snack, or head over to an eatery with tiddly friends after a night of carousing. Also super-delicious after a long day at work.
Comforting. Casual. Slapdash happy food.

Sik faan, y'all.


LITTLE CART NOODLES -- 車仔麵 CHE JAI MIN

The earliest types combined curried fish balls, pork blood cubes, and fried skin in a simple broth, often with one or two chunks of turnip (蘿蔔 'lo baak') or a stalk or two of vegetable - either Chinese broccoli (芥蘭 'gaai laan') or little white cabbage (小白菜 'siu baak choi').
Competition and an operatic sense of gustativity increased the number of choices. At present, with most of the places that serve quick dishes now located indoors, the variety is enormous.

What might be called meat:

魚丸 'yü yeun'; fish balls.
炸魚蛋 'jaa yü yuen'; fried fish balls.
墨魚丸 'mak yü yuen'; cuttlefish balls.
魚片 'yü pin'; sliced fish.
魷魚 'yau yü'; cuttlefish.
牛丸 'ngau yuen'; beef meatballs.
豬肉丸 (貢丸) 'chü yiuk yuen' ('gung yeun'); pork meatballs.
紅腸 'hong cheung'; cervelaet.
煙肉 'yin yiuk'; bacon.
豬紅 'chü hong'; gelled pork blood.
豬皮 'chü pei'; pork skin.
豬大腸 'chü taai cheung'; pork chittlin.
豬肝 'chü gon'; pork liver.
雞中翼 'gai jung yik'; chicken wing.
雞翼尖 'gai yik jim'; chicken wingtip.
牛柏葉 'ngau baak yip'; beef tripe.
牛腩 'ngau laam'; sliced sirloin.
燒賣 siumai.
雲吞 wonton.
蟹柳 'haai lau'; surimi.

Noodle choices:

河粉 'ho fan'; rice noodles.
公仔麵 'gung jai min'; instant noodles.
粗麵 'chou min'; Shanghai noodles (thick wheat-flour noodles).
伊麵 'yi min'; yee-mien.
烏冬 'wu dung'; udon.

Sauce-additions and soup stock:

沙嗲汁 'saa de jap'; satay sauce.
咖喱汁 'gaa lei jap'; curry sauce.
清湯 'ching tong'; clear stock.
牛腩汁 'ngau laam jap'; beef broth.
酸辣湯 'suen laat tong'; hot and sour soup.
麻辣湯 'maa laat tong'; over the top peppery soup.

Vegetables:

芽菜 'ngaa choi'; bean sprouts.
芥菜 'gaai choi'; mustard green.
芥蘭 'gaai laan'; Chinese broccoli.
小白菜 'siu baak choi'; small bokchoi.
蘿蔔 'lo baak'; Chinese turnip.
冬菇 'dung gu'; black mushroom.

Frequent garnishes:

韭菜 'gau choi'; garlic-chives (almost always added).
芫茜 'yuen sai'; cilantro.

Most of the time customers will have three or four things they want in their noodle soup, a vegetable will often be added on the assumption that you won't mind if the bowl looks a little more full and visually appealing, and there will be a few gratuitous condiments on the table.
If you cannot make a choice, simply go with what the proprietor recommends.

特別 'dak bit'; special, unusual, unique; often the best offerings. 
招牌 'jiu paai'; house specialty, or what they're really famous for. 

[Thus: 特別粉, 招牌粉 ('dak bit fan', 'jiu paai fan') house special noodles.]


GOT CURRY PASTE?

Casual snack noodles are a way of life. People will make this at home, when they don't feel like cooking. All you need is something rather like stock or broth, rice flour noodles, and take-out (燒味 or 滷味) nearby.
Some fish balls, a few slices of roast duck or pork, maybe something unmentionable in polite society, ginger, and a stalk or two of gailan.
Heat it up, then sit in front of the tube watching trashy teevee.

Later, you might change back into street clothes and go out.
See what the heathens down on Polk Street are up to.
Wander across Nob Hill with a pipe.


Everything tastes better with hotsauce.
Especially wearing pajamas.
Remember that.



ADDENDUM

An explanation of the sauces & stocks used:

沙嗲汁 'saa de jap'; satay sauce. This was invented by the Javanese shortly after both peanuts (from Africa) and New World crops (such as chilies) were introduced by the Portuguese and Dutch four centuries ago. At its simplest, it is toasted or fried peanuts ground fine, mixed with a little sugar and chili, and cooked to a thick gloop. The Chinese know two versions: old-school Chinese satay sauce (usually 沙茶醬 'sa chaa jeung') was brought back by Fujianese (Hokkienese) returning to home, and has a pronounced dry shrimp and fish-paste saveur. Hong Kong has been exposed to that, but what they are more familiar with is the intensely peanutty version introduced by the Hokkien refugees from Indonesia who settled in North Point after the fifties and sixties -- called 沙爹醬 ('sa de jeung'). It's rather similar to what you will find in Holland, but not very much like the anemic Thai interpretation or the shallow Singaporean-Malay style. It can be spicier than other South-East Asian types, which makes it perfect as a cooking ingredient. Note that both 沙茶醬 and 沙爹醬 are pronounced the same in Hokkien ('sa-te cheo'), but not Cantonese. Yet their fundamental sameness despite differences is recognized.

咖喱汁 'gaa lei jap'; curry sauce. Pretty much the same as "Portuguese Sauce" (葡汁 'po jap'; molho português), which is a Maccanese commercial preparation consisting of coconut milk, starch, and curry powder. Chinese curry powder usually contains, in order, the following (among others): chili powder (辣椒粉 'laat jiu fan'), turmeric (薑黃 'geung wong'), star anise (八角 'baat gok'), Chinese cinnamon (cassia, 桂皮 'gwai pei'), dried ginger (乾薑 'gon geung'), Szechuan pepper (花椒 'faa chiu'), and clove (丁香 'ding heung').

清湯 'ching tong'; clear stock. A cooking stock made by first blanching pork and chicken bones, rinsing them, then simmering them in water for a few hours. Blanching and then rinsing yields a clearer cleaner broth, with less or no scum that needs skimming off. Often some roasted dried flounder (左口魚 'jorhau yü', 大地魚 'daaidei yü') or dried shrimp (蝦米 'haa mei') is added for a bit of depth. Sometimes the broth is made entirely from chicken, but that is rare.

牛腩汁 'ngau laam jap'; beef broth. Basically beef bouillon made with lean meat.

酸辣湯 'suen laat tong'; hot and sour soup. A chicken stock zipped up with a splash of vinegar, some Szechuan bean sauce (豆瓣酱 'douban jeung'), a generous amount of white pepper, and a little dry chili.

麻辣湯 'maa laat tong'; over the top peppery soup. Originally a mildly spicy broth, nowadays increasingly often a barely edible liquid that includes diluted hot sauce in copious amount.


Final note: You will have wondered, perhaps, why beancurd is nowhere mentioned as a possible ingredient. That is because Hong Kong people do not consider it a fit inclusion. Happy warm noodle snacks do not contain tofu. Adding it causes nightmares.
Unless you are a vegetarian or a Berkeleyite.
In which case you shouldn't be here.
This post is not for you.
So very sorry.




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CRISPY SKIN ROAST PORK -- 脆皮燒肉

Another U.S. holiday is coming up. This may surprise you, because the American capitalist classes are known for not wanting to give the serfs any slack, but we'd probably string the bastards up if they didn't give us off for July Fourth. Which celebrates our independence from tyranny.

What could be more American, on July Fourth, than crispy roast pork belly? Or, as you may know it, thịt heo quay (Vietnamese), cheui pei sui yiuk (Cantonese). Liyempo in Tagalog, or barriga de cerdo asada.
It is considerably better than burnt hotdogs.
Great in a burrito.

[脆 cheui: crispy. 皮 pei: skin, rind. 燒 siu: roast, barbecue. 肉 yiuk: meat, by which is almost always meant pork, unless some other animal is named.]


The recipe below uses terms like "a little", "some", "approximately", and other imprecise specifications. This presumes you know how to cook.
Feel the pork skin, be the pork skin.
Grasshopper.
Zen.


脆皮燒肉
CHEUI PEI SIU YIUK

Two LBS pork belly.

½ tsp salt.
3 tsp sugar.
1½ tsp five-spice powder.
½ tsp pepper.
1 tbsp 花雕 (fine rice wine).

Rinse the piece of pork belly well. Heat a little water to boiling in a shallow pan, put the meat skin side down in there to blanch; most of the flesh should be well clear of water. This will tighten the skin. Take it out, let it dry skin side up for an hour. Stab the skin very many times with an ice-pick. Flip it over, and jab at the meat fiercely with a knife to make shallow thin gashes. Mix the ingredients for the marinade together, and thoroughly rub it into the meat and the sides, keeping the skin clear. Place the pork meat side down in a dish with the rest of the marinade, rub some vinegar and a pinch of salt over the skin.

Place it in the refrigerator for several hours or overnight. This will dry out the skin, while the marinade flavours penetrate the meat.

Remove the meat from the fridge, and put it on a rack over a pan of water, skin up. Rub a little more vinegar into the skin. Preheat the oven to 400 - 425 degrees Fahrenheit (approximately 220 degrees Celsius), then bung the whole arrangement in to roast for forty to forty five minutes.

At this point the skin should be fairly crispy, but you can stick it under the broiler till the optimum degree of crispy-crackly has been achieved; the skin should be bubbling.

Take it out, let it cool for twenty minutes or so, and chop it up.

Serve it with rice and sploodge Sriracha, or roll it into a burrito with some crunchy herbs and vegetables, rice, and re-fried beans. Add salsa and a dash of soy sauce for extra goodness.



You will have noticed that I specified 花雕 ('faa diu'), which is a yellow rice wine from 紹興 ('siuheng'), a prefecture in 浙江 ('jitgong'), which you may know as Chekiang Province. That isn't very American, is it?
But if you're like me, you probably have a bottle of mediocre Bourbon somewhere in the apartment (look under the bed), and that works just as well. Besides, it's good for you; grows hair on your palms.

花雕 can be used in lieu of Vermouth if you're making a Manhattan. It's not as strong a flavour, rather more like sherry, and a bit sweet. Manhattan Cocktails are VERY festive!



COOL AND EVEN-TEMPERED AFTERTHOUGHT

Years ago, Savage Kitten and I would celebrate the Fourth by going to the top of a nearby hill, and watching the fireworks. I fully expect that she'll be off celebrating with her boyfriend, however, and I have no plans to do anything special. I'll probably head off into Chinatown for bittermelon and pork over rice, or something.

If I have any cheui pei siu yiuk at all, it will most likely have been from the Kam Po on Broadway and Powell. They do a stellar rendition, and the chap with the cleaver speaks not a word of English.

我好中意肥肉！
['Ngo hou jung-yi fei yiuk!' (粵語：I really like fatty meat!).]

No, I shan't be cooking. Bugger the effort. It's just me.
It would be a pointless waste of time.
Happy Fourth.



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HELL FOR CRUSTACEANS: 避風塘炒蟹

Undoubtedly one of the next big things that will hit this food-slut metropolis (SF) is Typhoon Shelter Crab. Or a variation thereof. I can already imagine the moans of exquise epicurean gourmegasm that will erupt, as well as the snarls of outrage on Yelp over positive or negative reviews. People will inevitably object that the Typhoon Shelter Crab was far better in Hong Kong. Especially in some boîte that only they know about.

Given that crabs are a messy business, but so incredibly tasty, I would suggest that the best crab ever is the one that makes you want to lick your companion's face.
You should know that a Van Dyke beard, such as I myself have, is an awesome crab fragment catcher.
I'm just mentioning that in passing, think nothing of it.
Refined yet piratical.


避風塘炒蟹
BEI FUNG TONG CHAAU HAAI
["Escape Wind Embankment Stirfry Crab"]


Typhoon Shelter Crab originated in the dai paai dongs and floating villages over a generation ago, and is the one dish you really must try in Hong Kong.

Along with several dozen other dishes that are really the one dish you must try.

The key to something so well-suited to sheer self-indulgence is subtlety.
Garlic, ginger, onions, dried chilies, and salted black beans.
Balance, careful proportion, and deft hands.

If you can't go to Hong Kong, make Typhoon Shelter Crab yourself. There are crabs in Chinatown and down at the wharf. Spread some newspaper over the dining table, it's going to be messy.
Buy a bottle of chardonnay and some sourdough.


PREPARING CRABS FOR THE WOK

Note that while the crabs should be so fresh that they're fighting their way out of the bag while you're on the bus going home, all pugnacious and spirited, they'll calm down if you pop them in the refrigerator for half an hour before whacking them. Just flip them on their backs and whack them right through the sternum, head to arse. Then chop off the claws, and whack between the legs so that you can twist them loose. Rinse all parts under cold running water. Crack the claws and parts with the blunt end of the cleaver, and take the remaining meat out of the shell. Dust everything with cornflour and some freshly ground pepper.

I'm assuming crabs are always bad tempered and have an attitude problem, but for all I know they could be excited about this splendid adventure and singing to themselves, or thinking about a new Chevrolet.
I just don't know. Neither do you. All animals are alive before they're killed for food. The more recently so, often the better.
Whacking and heat put a quick end to that.


TYPHOON SHELTER CRAB

Crab, two pounds (four live ones).
One hundred cloves of garlic, minced (eight heads).
Thumblength ginger, minced.
One onion, sliced.
Eight scallions, cut into lengths.
Two to six dried chilies, cracked and seeded.
Two TBS fermented black beans, coarsely smashed.
Quarter cup of rice wine or sherry.
Quarter cup of water or stock.
Half TBS oyster sauce.
Half tsp ground black pepper.
Half tsp. salt.
Pinch of sugar.
Dash of sesame oil.
Cornflour.
Oil.


First peel and chop the garlic, and soak it in water for an hour (doing so will prevent it scorching or browning too much). Drain, pat dry with a cloth, and fry it golden-crisp. Remove from the oil and set aside.
Dust the crab pieces with cornflour and put them meat side down in the hot oil (this seals in the flavour). Turn and fry the shell side. Drain and reserve.
Saute the ginger, onion, dry chilies, return crab to the pan.
Add the fermented black beans, rice wine or sherry, water or stock, oyster sauce, and the other remaining ingredients, stir well, dump the fried garlic over, and serve.


避風塘炒蟹


配料:
生猛蟹2公斤(四個)
蒜瓣100兩 (8頭)，切碎
姜3-6釐米，切碎
洋蔥頭1粒，切碎
青蔥8棵
乾辣椒2-6隻，剁碎
豆豉2湯匙
花彫酒4湯匙
水或上湯4湯匙
蠔油半湯匙
胡椒半茶匙
鹽半茶匙
白糖小量
麻油少許
粟粉
油

做法:
大蒜皮去衣切碎，先浸水 (泡大約一小時)，用乾布吸乾啲，炸至金金脆脆，盛起瀝乾。 蟹洗淨、切件，然後灑上粟粉，炸至金黃，瀝乾。 燒油鑊炒香姜、洋蔥、乾辣椒，放蟹件入鑊。 加豆豉、花彫酒、清水或上湯、蠔油, 同埋其他調味料、兜勻; 加炸蒜，即成。


Here's a neat-o-keen video clip that shows you how it's done.

IC電磁爐小炒 避風塘炒蟹


[Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZdd-pMQqUg.]

Note that the gentleman above has a slightly different recipe, and includes Chinese celery (中芹) as one of the ingredients. This will not detract in any way, and will add a splash more colour to the dish. My recipe is predicated on self-indulgence, San Francisco standards of garlic preference, and the idea that you would probably not want to be a calm and balanced social person while eating this.

As a further note, if you use mild dry chilies, you can add a sploodge of Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce to your plate. This is always recommended; Sriracha is a vegetable, and full of vitamin C.
It's good for you. Stay healthy.

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