I've been looking at my blog-stats, trying to figure out a sudden spike in readership. It turns out that it comes from Russia, and may involve fly-by-night sites selling curvy Slavic naughtiness. You know; large women named Olga, with an excess of thigh meat. Or breast meat.
Or slick rolls of Cossack fatback.
Dull eyed, slackjawed.
Ivanka Sumashedshiki shaking her boobliwooblies.
Possibly she's trying to place spammatic linkage in the comments fields.
Judging by all the comments I've nixed recently.
[FYI: Pryanyi svinina vkustnuy!]
While I do have dirty old man tendencies -- honestly, all males do, that's why there are so many of us, and the species has not died out yet -- large Kremlinesque wabblibubs and the upholstered goli matronyeh thus endowed have as little appeal as a plate of stewed onions.
The amount of smetana is immaterial.
A woman with a face I should like to kiss, who is wearing nice clean clothes, is FAR MORE exciting than any number of stark naked Ruthenian tramps looking deranged.
No matter how glossy.
"Gewürzte Schweinefleisch ist sehr lecker!"
I am a keen judge of Spam. If you want to attract my attention -- and get your comment published -- you must allure me. Mentioning Vigagagira, Christian Boloutin, green bean extracts, emergency loans, text running off screen, fastidiousness in several forms, video cams, and wondrous weight loss methods, will probably alert me to the 'delete button'.
The delete button winks seductively.
Spam, spam, spammity.
Spam.
Please understand, it's my blog, so I get to decide what garbage goes here, and to what weird audience will be catered. My ideal demographic will show some similarities to me.
We are not interested in being rigid all night while misbehaving with substandard bubblicious bitchballs, but would far rather share juicy pork chops with a feisty female who is clean and modestly dressed.
If we have to, and think we can get away with it, we'll lick the warm meat grease off her cheeks, to keep it from dripping on her blouse.
Anything that happens after that is bound to be good.
Mmm, delicious pork chops!
Expensive French luggage, shoes, and healthgiving bean juices are not our fancy. Emergency credit and browser compatibility issues cannot interest us. Yes, we are fastidious, but losing excess blob by magic, medicine, or the miracle of 24 hour exercise clubs, does not exercise our imagination.
Instead, please refer back to those lovely porkchops.
A recipe source would be nice, you know.
Many real women LOVE pork!
Far more than pills.
What I'm trying to say, dear Russian spam commenters, is that readers, of whichever gender, are likely more interested in Pork, than Porn.
Please provide a source for Pork.
Put differently, clean young ladies with a wholesome interest in pork chops (or other cuts of meat) may find a supportive audience here.
Eastern European brokers of smut, not so much.
Oh, and brains. I like evidence of brains.
If you've got one of those, welcome.
Please feel free to comment.
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1 comment:
Fascinating use of Polish phrases, my man.
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